Chapter 30 Unspoken Feelings
Aileen's POV
I waited for him to start talking but he kept staring at me like he didn't know where to start. And the more he kept quiet, the more uneasy I felt.
“I'm sorry," he started and my frown deepened, that wasn't the best way to start a conversation.
“What?" I let out. “What are you apologizing for?" I asked. Even though I had an idea about why he was apologizing, I wanted to hear him say it.
“I know it's long overdue, but I'm sorry about leaving the way that I did that day,” he continued. He didn't have to specify which day for me to know what he was talking about. "It was wrong of me to…"
I didn't let him finish, “do you regret it?"
My question caught him by surprise, his lips parting like he wasn't expecting me to ask that. For a moment, neither of us spoke. I couldn't feel my heart because of how fast it was beating. I was even convinced that he could hear the sound.
“You were hurting, Leena.” He replied and I swallowed hard, ignoring the way my nickname rolled off his tongue smoothly. "I was wrong to take advantage of you…that's what I regret.”
My gaze remained on him, relief flooding my veins. My worst fear…part of it, was over. “I don't regret it" I told him and I felt all of the feelings I kept bottled up all these years, came flooding to the surface.
“I knew exactly what I was doing that day…”
"Princess–" he said, his tone low and conflicted. "You don't know what you're talking about.”
"I know exactly what I'm talking about.” I argued.
He shook his head, "that night shouldn't have happened, you're my best friend's brother and he'd kill me if he finds out I so much as look at you in a way that is inappropriate.”
"I don't care,” I told him, taking a step towards him. He looked away.
“Aileen…” he warned.
But that wasn't stopping me. I've waited way too long to have this conversation for me to not get to the end of it. "You know how I feel about you, that's not going to change.”
"Then what happens when you find your mate? Or when I find my mate?”
I paused, my breath catching in my throat. His question caught me by surprise, I wanted to believe I was prepared for anything he might say, but that… that, I didn't see coming and I didn't have a response.
Before now, I probably would've gone with rejection, how I didn't want my life to be decided by fate alone. How I wanted to love because it was mutual not because the moon goddess chose him for me but after seeing what rejection did to Alyssa, I couldn't answer immediately.
“I thought as much,” he said, taking a step backward. "I just hate how we can't have a normal conversation without being at each other's throat…I miss that."
My heart was breaking, but at the same time, a warm feeling settled in my stomach when he said he missed that, missed what we used to have. I understood him, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
He wanted distance, logic, the kind of neat ending that didn’t exist for people like us. I swallowed hard, keeping my face neutral even as my chest ached.
“I miss it too,” I said softly, forcing my tone to sound calm, almost indifferent. “But maybe some things are better left the way they are.”
He nodded, relief flashing briefly in his eyes and that hurt more than anything he’d said.
I offered a small, polite smile. “I should get going. I promised to check on the girls.”
Turning before he could respond, I walked away, steady steps, even breaths.
But as soon as I was out of sight, I exhaled shakily. My wolf whimpered quietly, and I pressed a hand against my chest as my eyes teared up.
I found the girls in the childcare and once they saw the look on my face, they immediately stood up and wrapped their arms around me. I didn't care that the kids and other pack members who assisted in the childcare could see me crying.
“What happened?" They chorused.
"He doesn't like me,” I cried, "He's waiting for his mate. I thought there was a bit of hope when Ally said he was looking for me."
I'd been so happy but at the end, I was still disappointed. The girls rubbed my back as they led me out of the childcare. I just followed and soon enough, we got to my room and I sat quietly on the bed.
My wolf didn't say anything but it was obvious that she was just as hurt because she liked him too.
“He's an idiot," Aria said, “everyone can see that he likes you." She finished and Alyssa nodded.
"I'm going to knock some sense into him.” Alyssa said and this brought a smile to my face, considering how she couldn't even hurt a fly if she wanted to…okay maybe she could, the fact that she took down a warrior on her own, came rushing back.
They stayed with me, both of them trying their best to help me get over it.
“Why are you even crying, when there are several guys out there…hot ones for that matter.” Aria said, a hint of mischief in her voice. “I have the best idea on how to cure a broken heart.” She announced.
I didn't miss the way Alyssa frowned, “why do I feel like I'm not going to like the idea?”
I sat upright, a bad idea is exactly what I needed at the moment, one where I didn't have to think and something to take my mind off the ridiculously handsome man that was refusing to leave.
“Does it involve getting drunk?" I asked.
Aria smiled, "you know it. I have the best location, you'll love it.”
“I'm in."
Both of us turned to look at Alyssa, who looked torn. “Zayne's not going to like this…”
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him.” I shrugged. She thought about it for a few seconds before giving in. "I'm going to blame you if anything goes wrong.” She said,
“Let's do it!" Aria exclaimed.