promise them

Rina Zante

Fiona's son had dropped me off just at the station. I needn't say much for Fiona to make that arrangement. My ruse was to see a relative of mine who'd kicked against my supposed relationship with Andrea. I wanted to patch things up.

My wishes had been granted—only that there was no relative, and here I was roaming around the streets of Villa-in-Pietra, a town four hours from Florence, with no hope of a place to lay my head, let alone food. And I was extremely hungry. Fiona had said Bologna was three hours away… I couldn't say. Maybe that was a slip of the tongue.

Villa-in-Pietra.

I couldn't believe it: the extent Luna could go in preserving her image. She'd separated Mamma and me from the rest of the world— a stone-faced guard, as our only company.

I couldn't say I totally faulted Luna. I mean, she must be living her worst nightmare. Her son had laid with a maid, claiming she was his mate.

Wow fuckety wow, if I were Papà. Such a revelation. Such a twist. And the fool, Vincenzo, had expected everyone to forget about the rape and maltreatment, and shrug indifferently, since the girl in question was his mate.

I'd never seen anyone as disgusting. The worst would happen before I accepted the narrative. The worst: an apocalypse or anything too horrific to think up. I wouldn't pay heed to the voice within that spoke in a whisper, reminding me of some hints I hadn't given two thoughts about. Of all the time I felt an unwanted pull—a forbidden pull towards Vincenzo. Of the time I spotted him just in his briefs, and had nearly choked in my breath. The night he had torn me apart—his stupid birthday —when all my nostrils had picked was his scent; and his sickening possessiveness.

He had known all along, but had been hostile.

I burst into an abrupt laugh. It was dry, and as such itched my throat. I was stunned. I still was dazed at this, even though it'd been months since the secret got exposed.

Vincenzo was my mate. Was anything more incredible than that? And…

I pushed myself to a bench and dropped down. Weary to the bones.

Could that be the reason Mammà had the job as a maid? Because Vincenzo was my mate? This was the soulmate bond myths talked about, that brought one close to her mate no matter the distance separating them? It should be; that was the only explanation to how Mammà had been the preferred candidate amongst dozens of other applicants.

I heaved a breath, overwhelmed by the revelation and from all the aimless walk I'd done since I got to the terminal. For the next couple of minutes, I watched as life went on. The sun slipping away every passing minute, and the streets gradually lighting up. And with the bustling going on around, I relaxed—forgetting my worries.

However, I somehow slipped back to my reality, staring down at my belly and getting a pinch to my heart.

I was with twins. I truly had them. The moon goddess or whatever malevolent spirit that'd been on my neck further punished me for what I could boldly say wasn't my fault. They wanted me to witness another death. To have another part of me taken.

I lifted my eyes and cleared the tears blocking them.

That was why I was here. To protect these unfortunate babies. I couldn't let it die, even though chances were I wasn't going to raise either of them; rather Luna.

My wandering gaze landed on a phone booth across the street. That sight broke my heart. I yearned to speak to Mammà, but I had no means of achieving that. By now, she should be numb with worry.

The urge to cry hit me all of a sudden, but I put up a brave fight not to. Crying could attract the wrong kind of people.

My stomach growled. I'd got to find something to eat. I had to get hold of some cash. My need to survive stemmed from wanting to reach Mammà, and the babies' welfare.

I looked around, evaluating—trying to decide which of the stores I should go to. I quickly ruled out some—the flashy ones—and settled for those which didn't look intimidating.

It was quite hard choosing between a café and a restaurant.

I picked the café. It felt homely.

I got there and met cool air and folk music. The smell of bread piqued my appetite. As I'd imagined, this place was cozy. Not to my liking, however. Its size made me conspicuous, and the last thing I wanted now was attention.

Yet, I needed cash, and the restaurant, for some reason, didn't look like an auspicious choice.

I found my way to the counter, meeting a guy working on a milk steamer. A customer leaned against the counter as he waited for his order.

"Buonasera," the counter guy said.

I responded with a rehearsed smile and waited for him to be done attending to the other person.

"I'd like to see the manager. Please," I said when he was done.

He frowned a bit. I couldn't blame him.

"He isn't available?"

After a pause, he said, "Wait here."

I crossed my fingers, hoping I succeeded. The guy reappeared not long afterwards with an older person. Probably in his early thirties.

"Hello. I'm...Julia. I was wondering if there's a way I can apply to work? Any work at all, I don't mind."

The manager looked me over, his gaze lingering on my belly.

"That isn't an issue," I said. "I assume you."

"We aren't out of staff, signorina, and clearly you aren't in the right position to work."

"I am," I almost whined.

"The job is relatively demanding."

"I don't mind. I know what it is like to be in the hospitality business. And if you don't trust me to handle the dishes or cleaning, I could stock-keep. Just…" I breathed out the air that seemed to loiter within my chest. "Help me out please. I need this job."

After a draw of silence, he gave in.

"Thank you so much. Thank you." I could fall on my knees and weep in gratitude.

"Drop by tomorrow evening."

"Evening?"

"Yes. I can't let you do morning shifts. The evenings are less busy."

"But…" I had to be careful not to sound ungrateful. "Evening?"

He looked on with a blank face, and I saw myself giving in to the temptation to ask for food. Before I could get the words out, the cafe guy cut in. Unintentionally however, as he welcomed a customer, "Welcome. What would you like?"

"So?" The manager prompted me to speak.

Except I didn't. Something, or rather someone had sealed my vocal cords shut. His voice was horrifically familiar like that of the hospital guard. And I wished this wasn't true. That the stress of today had left me with an over imaginative mind.

So, to clear all doubts, I turned to my left. To the new customer that'd happened a few seconds ago.

He placed his order; somewhere along the line, became aware of my piercing gaze. He glanced rightwards and raised his brows in the same surprise that left my lips hanging apart.

The first thing that came to my mind was: run.

***

The car rolled to a stop. What stood before me was a one storeyed apartment. My gaze sliding along its length descended on the luminescent signpost reading La Locanda.

Doubts rose within me. Was this the right thing? It was true I'd had no choice, but…would I regret this? Would this backfire like other times I'd given people my trust?

"I'll book another room. Left wing, right, whichever you prefer."

That voice which belonged to someone I held in contempt rang out, loud and clear. Informing me of how unexpectedly events could turn out.

"I'll stay here. Thanks."

"Here? What do you mean?"

I didn't answer him. I couldn't bring myself to say anything more.

"The rooms are very comfortable. I've been here for a night, and… The bed is just fine, nice A.C, clean bathroom. You shouldn't worry about the price. It's affordable."

I turned to the window as a way of keeping anger at bay. I'd almost flared up when he mentioned the place being affordable. I wanted nothing from him. I'd only agreed to come along because I was indisposed. I had no place to go.

"Rina…We can't continue like this. We can't keep acting like strangers. Was what I did so bad you can't forgive me?"

"Yes." I spun to him. "Yes, Alessio, yes! I'm mad at you. So mad and I don't see the likelihood of forgetting what you did."

His countenance softened the more.

"I've always had regret for that. Every day of my life, I wish I could alter the past. I don't know what came over me. I was drunk and—"

"Just stop. Feeling sorry won't change a thing." No, it wouldn't restore my virginity or undo this pregnancy; nor the hell I'd endured because of his unreasonable actions.

"Why though? Why did you do that? You knew he was around. What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry."

"You were everything you said you weren't. Threw me to the slaughterhouse, and did you even bother calling to apologize? If you truly were sorry, why didn't you call? Only to come up when it was most convenient for you after the deed had been done." The betrayal. The height of it was something I couldn't fathom.

"I was ashamed of myself. I couldn't bring myself to meet you. I didn't know what to say, how to explain myself. "

Silence broke in, not only pervading the car, but my mind also. I thought nothing as I looked out the window, catching a hatchback pull up.

"I'm sorry to have let my emotions control me. You made it clear we were nothing but friends, and I was just like other douches who aren't brave enough to take no for an answer. I want your friendship, Rina. I like your company. I've successfully gotten rid of the feelings. Now, I just want to be there for you as nothing more than a friend."

He started again after waiting for my response, I want to make things right. I'm ready to make things right. Please, one last chance and I won't blow it up."

I'd long stopped giving chances to people.

"This isn't about me. I don't care if you hurt me again, but they're innocent." I touched my belly. "Their welfare is my priority. You can go on and hurt me, but not them. Not them, Alessio."

I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out. Alessio gaped as he tried to process that little bit I'd let out. Eventually, he locked up the car and led the way into the inn.

I stood at a corner as he booked a room. I hoped he wasn't a snitch. I hoped all this world harbored wasn't the worst of the worst.

"Shit."

I glanced at the counter to see the receptionist looking apologetically at Alessio.

Alessio turned to me, somewhere between sorry and annoyed. "All the rooms are taken." He waited for a response. "Wait here, lemme quickly grab my things."

"Where are we going?" I asked when he started out.

"Another motel. A more comfortable one."

I resisted rolling my eyes. The reception didn't look like she cared either.

I waited by looking round the reception. Not much went on here; still I wouldn't take Alessio's word for it. That this place was affordable. Either way, none of it was my business. If he spent his hard earned money, that was on him.

My eyes switched to the television. I wondered the last time I watched a programme —when a picture popped up on the screen. My photograph stared at me, with a headline written in red: missing.

Breaking free from the spell, I glanced at the receptionist. Thankfully, she was going through some books. I looked around—my soul almost leaping out when I spotted a guy seated behind me.

By sheer luck again, he wasn't viewing the TV. This was my cue to leave.

I looked at the TV again, to be sure the photo had been removed. Luckily, it had.

I got out, totally blank on what to do. Next thing I knew, my legs worked. Fast, rapidly.

I was back tk square one, roaming about—hopeless.

I was all over the news now. Everywhere. The enormity of my problems weighed me down to such an extent that I couldn't react. How could I be this unlucky?

"Rina. Hey!" Alessio hopped close. "Hey, what's the problem?" He took my hand. "What's going on?"

"I can't stay there."

"The inn? I know. We're going to another. I've got my things in the car." He said, urging me to go with him.

"I'll wait here."

None of this made sense to him. Reason why he kept mute for some time.

"Okay. I'll be right back."

He cut his steps some distance away and turned. "Please don't go away."

He took my silence for a yes. Shortly afterwards, he arrived. I scuffed my feet into the car, worn out from all that's happened.

"I know a couple of nice motels. Lady Cassandra. I've heard a lot about it. We could try that out," Alessio said.

I simply stared at the night, which to me was starless. Exactly like my world. I failed in swallowing my sobs. I just couldn't get why all the bad came to me. Not even a tiny bit of happy time.

It came as no surprise when arms wrapped me up, soothing my back and with words of assurance accompanying.

"They're coming for my babies. They want to take them away," I whispered in fright. "I can't let them die."

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm here."

I knew it wasn't. He couldn't do anything. But I didn't relay my thoughts, instead I brought myself to relax in his arms.

Pulling myself together, I lifted from him and fell back to the seat. However, emotions struck again. Alessio sent a tissue my way; I took it, trying my very best to quit crying.

The thought of losing the kids was terrifying. It was technically murder, no matter what culture said.

"You've got to tell me what the problem is. You can't continue like this."

I dabbed my eyes, folding up the tissue—only for them to grow teary again as I wished Alessio used his influence as an alpha and helped me.

"Please, Rina. Count on me." He reached for my hands. "Count on me."

I saw the assurance in his eyes; I couldn't help having doubts. My situation was critical.

"I swear on everything previous to me that I'll help. I'll push you away. Please talk to me. I want to help."

"You can't."

"I can. If it isn't within my power, I'll work hard to see how to help in some other way. I promise you. Believe me."

I breathed deeply, attempting to relax and give Alessio another chance as that was all I could do now.

"Please tell me what it is."

"Alessio… I beg you, don't hurt me again." I cast my misty eyes on him. "I beg you with all my—"

He touched my lips with a finger. All he did for a while was shake his head.

"Never again, Rina." He then wrapped his little finger around mine. "I promise."

His eyes glowed with warmth that couldn't be fake. Nevertheless, I'd cleared all doubts. I took his hand and placed it on my belly.

"Promise them."

His eyes darted around my face.

"Promise them you won't fail."

The sheer confusion on his face cleared away, and he stilled. Just his eyes blinking, narrowing the space in my throat.

Still, I fought to say: "Promise them."

"I promise."