twins

RINA

Three months later…

The view outside was intimidating. Large expanse of uncultivated land, mountain backdrops and hard rugged terrain.

Having your loved one with you could help a lot. It made a great deal of difference. For you, safety was sure, and the evil inherent in the world ceased to exist.

I shrugged.

Mammà's presence always made me forget we were in the middle of nowhere. And likewise my presence to her. I wasn't freaked out at night when it was eerily quiet and my body forced me up for a pee or a late-hour snack. Dark halls didn't scare me anymore; and so was being in isolation.

I'd forgotten what going out was. Running errands, racing to class, seeing similarly dressed persons —all those were now alien. And I was okay with it, as the smile on my face showed. Mammà was the reason. The cheerful future was too.

A tear dropped as I looked down, inevitably meeting my protruding belly. I was three months and two weeks gone, a stone throw from being free forever.

I raised my hand above my belly. It hung a while, then landed on the smooth, hairless surface. My favorite pastime now was sliding a hand over my belly. And as I did, I returned to the window, no longer admiring the landscape, but waiting for the doctor to finally show up so that I could—

I yelped, instantly looking down. It was moving again. And as I stared in what might be surprise, another tiny yet powerful punch came. I breathed in, clenching the plush cushion of my seat.

I waited—while praying it didn't—to see if the punch would hit again. It didn't.

"Two," I muttered.

The baby had kicked twice in a row. Two days ago, when it first moved, it'd been a little kick. However, it had meant so much to the Luna.

She'd quickly organized for an ultrasound—eager to know the sex of the baby? I couldn't say. And I didn't want to think too much about Luna. She had become an unsavory topic.

"Has he made any movement again?" I turned to find Mammà entering with a glass of juice. I was reminded of Luna. Classic. She'd told Mammà to get the juice.

"A while ago," I answered, looking away to the window. Mammà came to stand before me. "What makes you think it's a boy?"

"Because I used he?" I couldn't help but look at her "I'm not forcing a gender. Only making use of the general pronoun."

"That's what 'it' is for."

"'It' it is then," she answered in a tired, resigned tone that made me unable to dislodge the lump in my throat. She never argued with me on anything concerning the pregnancy. She would have been okay with an abortion, if Luna hadn't butted in. And if my heart hadn't softened.

"Are you conflicted?" Mamma asked. Though her question confused me, I didn't turn for fear of exposing the tears.

"About what?"

"About…"

There was no point looking to know why she stopped. She must have spotted the pickup truck as well. Doctor B.L was here.

"Always on the dot," she said in a sigh and smiled when I glanced at her.

I rose to my feet, picking my blouse from the comforter.

"Your juice."

I wanted to decline, but couldn't bring myself to do so. The baby kind of enjoyed the treat. There was some little movement as I drank.

"Rina, I just…" Mammà started as I handed her the glass. "I want you to know it's almost over. The ultrasound means that, within a month—in a matter of weeks, it'll be done. And I know that doesn't change the horrible thing that happened but—"

I hugged her.

"It is a new beginning," I completed it for her. What had now become our mantra.

I squeezed my eyes, not out of desperation to keep off tears. But because of a much better feeling. Peace.

I broke the hug, though still having my arms around her shoulder.

***

"I've been waiting for this day since it all began. And—"

The telephone chimed. No wonder about who that was. Mammà sent me a sorry look, then went to pick it up.

"She's on her way," she said.

Dropping the phone, she returned to me, holding my shoulder and staring with assurance. Her smile said all the things she couldn't.

I saw myself out and headed to the pickup truck. The doctor smiled as soon as he saw me. I had no choice but to reciprocate.

"Looking good today," he said when I got in. Doctor B.L, as preferred to be called. Always the chatty one. Always wanting to force out a word from me.

I strapped on my seatbelt and looked away at the building. Mindlessly staring at the red bougainvillea laying on a window sill, until someone snatched my attention.

Mammà stood by the window. Gradually, a smile appeared on her.

I smiled too. Letting her know I was okay, and had that sense of satisfaction she had.

The doctor started the car. I turned to the windscreen, my hand meeting my belly again.

***

"Easy. Almost there. And…there. You got it."

Doctor B.L offered me a congratulatory grim for making it to the bed. I laid down, not knowing what to think or feel. Maybe relieved, since it'd all be over come June 22nd.

The consulting room was quiet except for the noise Doctor B.L made as he set up the ultrasound.

"You are one lucky bird. Most people don't have their pregnancy this easy. Baby must be friendly. His size is not an issue."

Did he expect me to be happy? Again, what was with everyone and thinking the baby was a boy?

Doctor B.L walked up to me as he strapped on his gloves.

"Now, I want you to take a deep breath. Watch me." He demonstrated, and urged me to do so. "Good. Keep at it."

He lifted my blouse to begin.

"You know why I asked you to take a deep breath?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Because you will be wowed by the image that'll appear. This is my favorite part of my job. Seeing an expectant mother glow with excitement."

I just didn't know what to say. Perhaps I shouldn't be mad at the doctor; he might be unaware of the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. Or not. He could just be as weird (for the sake of respect) as Luna, knowing the full story, but didn't give a damn. Doctor B.L had been too friendly for my liking right from the onset. I wasn't a fool anymore to think nothing of it.

"Chosen a name yet?" He spread some gel on my belly.

"Yeah." I don't know why I lied. Maybe to get him to shut up.

"Mm? Care to share?"

"Principe."

He flashed me his eyes. I looked away, only to land it on something that impacted on my heart so much it lurched.

I blinked to be sure I wasn't dreaming.

I wasn't. The monitor insisted I wasn't and that two fetuses lived inside of me.

"Now, let's take a look at…"

The rest of the words never left his mouth. He gaped at the monitor. Lifeless and frozen for heaven knows how long. The atmosphere was beyond tense. I could hear my heartbeat.

The monitor displayed two babies—my babies—making fetal movements. It showed them in their innocent, vulnerable state, and I was filled with emotions.

So much that my eyes watered.

My mood changed when Doctor B.L looked at me. I was on alert this time. Ready for what I didn't know.

"It's okay," he said with a voice that didn't hide the alarm. "Nothing to worry about. Just hang in there, okay?"

He nodded, but I saw it at all. His horror. For one, he pressed his lips to stop himself from bursting in hysteria.

He disappeared into his office, leaving me battling with reality. I had twins. The doctor had left to call Luna. They would place me under stricter house arrest this time and to crown it all, I'd lose a child.

My attention zapped to the room Doctor B.L had entered. I saw him in my mind's eye informing Luna of the latest development.

I couldn't tell what exactly pushed me to leave the bed. Fright, determination, or heartbreak. They all were rife within me.

I slipped onto the platform, next to the bed, making sure I didn't make a sound. I steadied my breath—to some extent—and with the same stealth I'd now known, I left the room.

I was stuck on what to do next. Run, since the lives of the babies depended on it? Or walk normally to avoid suspicion. I chose a point between the two.

Jog.

The babies might have understood the dire situation we were in. They didn't kick like I had feared, encouraging me to up my pace. I'd never been this thankful the hospital was private-owned.

I finally got to the reception. A sigh of relief would have been let out, if not that I wasn't totally off the claws of this place.

"Signora?" the receptionist called.

I pushed the door open and practically leapt out. That voice had birthed urgency.

Out, I chose the left path, rather than following straight. The latter was obvious. I forced my leg muscles to work more than they normally would.

I ran, never looking back; daring not to breathe and trying my best not to go crazy that there weren't any hiding spots around. Just a long row of houses.

A jab came to my stomach and cut my steps. I cradled my belly and puffed. Taking in those deep breaths Mammà had said helped. I picked up walking even though all didn't totally go still. I must have grown a thick skin now.

Looking behind, I saw no one chasing after me. However, I couldn't take that as a sign. They were still on my tail.

A path run by my right. Ensuring that no one was following, I entered, coming to meet another row of houses. This one more-affordable and family-centric.

I wasn't familiar with this place, and there were no signposts to give a hint. I didn't even know what part of town this was. Or if I was still in Florence. Luna had shipped off Mamma and me in a tinted vehicle.

I walked while looking around at the buildings that reminded me of Uncle Enrico, the kids blowing bubbles and a stray dog that searched for food at a dumpster. Some people chilled out on the balcony.

All of a sudden, the peace I'd gotten hold of vanished. The palpitations returned. I'd remembered I was on the run.

I turned just to be sure of myself. And I didn't believe whom I set my eyes on. Someone with a frighteningly familiar uniform. The hospital security.

I rushed to take cover, not minding where I went.

Whether I was trespassing, I didn't care. I moved far away from the entrance to the building at the other end of the compound. Fortunately, no one was here. I could wait it out till the guard disappeared.

With some minutes passing, and all looking at ease, I heaved from the wall—tiptoeing to check if the coast was clear. I made it out of the communal compound, taking a step at a time till something forced me to stop.

Voices—one, which I dreaded; and other, from someone else.

"Excuse me, did you see a girl pass here? She's pregnant."

The other person—an elderly man—tutted "I knew it. They are never up to any good. She went that way not long ago. Can never be of any good. She went that way not long ago. If I may ask, what did she do now?"

The guard didn't answer immediately, but when he did, his voice rang with confusion. "Something bad."

I too was confused. What did the old man mean by 'can never be of any good?' Before I could be pissed at the hasty conclusion, the guard thanked him and started heading towards me.

I scurried back into the compound. He sounded closer by the minute. My eyes darted about, searching for a hideout. None!

There was no escape. Not even a dumpster which I didn't mind to dunk into. I was plastered against the wall, waiting for the worst to happen: being caught like a shoplifter and forced to live an unimaginable nightmare.

I couldn't say. I didn't know how flashes of my baby screaming for help came about. That was enough for me to make a decision.

I wouldn't let them hurt it. So, I worked on the door behind me and pushed inside. I came face to face with a middle-aged woman. Her glaring surprise pushed me to talk.

"Buon pomeriggio. I uh…" My brain searched for what to say, and came up with, "La farina?" [Flour]

Her surprise took on a different form. Stun. She was shocked at my audacity.

"I'm so sorry for barging in. Just that I thought you were someone else and…" I kept yapping. The woman's expression could destroy nerves; still I didn't falter. This was a way of stalling, waiting for the guard to be gone. Totally.

When it felt like the time was right, I cut my rambling, offering a sorry smile to the woman. "I'll be leaving now."

"Andrea's home?" she said, stopping me from leaving. "You're from there, right? La sua ultima agguinta." [His latest addition]

My mouth hung open and then I forced it down wanting to go with the flow for no reason other than to buy more time.

"Yeah, yes. Andrea's. How did you know?" I hoped I sounded convincing.

"Pfft. Who doesn't know what Lothario that man is." She moved to the laundry basket beside the centre table. "I wonder what the tale was this time."

She picked the basket and left through the door opposite. I moved closer to a window and peeped. With nothing worthy of note on sight, I looked away—or wanted to. I'd picked up someone moving across the street, right at the entrance to this place. She was pregnant and had a similar physique as me. Was she the one being referred to earlier?

"And I wonder what you girls see in him." I turned around to face the woman. "I don't have any more flour to give out. Andrea should be able to earn his keep since he wishes to birth a multitude."

Sending that across, she went on sorting out another set of clothes.

That does it. It was time to head out. I could only pray the guard was far gone.

Putting on a smile, I thanked the lady and sought to take my leave; however, the baby—babies awoke and hitched my breath with a kick.

"How far gone are you?" The abruptness of the lady's voice wiped off my grimace momentarily.

"Three and half months."

"Almost due. You shouldn't stress yourself. Andrea…" she said the last part under her breath. "Wait here."

I turned around to find her heading to the kitchen at the end of the room. It took me some time to find my voice.

"You know what?" I started as she brought out a bag of flour from a cabinet. "Don't worry. I'll grab some in the grocery store."

"I'd have been thrilled to let you." She spared me a glance, then returned to packaging the flour. "Count yourself favored."

She handed it to me.

"Go on," she pressed when I hesitated.

I collected it, and was instantly hit with emotions. I was touched by the kindness shown, which to others mightn't come across as much.

"Young lady?" The woman called as I stared at the token in my hands.

"I'm sorry." I looked up at her. "I don't know how to thank you."

"It's okay. Andrea's mom was my best friend and he is like a son to me. I have to put up with his lifestyle."

The curtain on the door the woman had entered, slid aside to reveal a lanky guy. Though he was nothing like the woman physically, the resemblance he had with her was clear on his face. I'd have kept lucky—dumb me—if the woman hadn't sighed.

"Thanks again, Signora."

"No problem. Call me Fiona. What's your name?"

I didn't know. I didn't just know how 'Fiona' left my lips.

Surprise wasn't lost on her face.

"I prefer using my middle name."

She looked unconvinced, then surprised me by buying it. She wanted to know a little bit about the girl her godson had recently put into the family way. Where she came from, her family, what meal she could make, et cetera.

The lies I told could only go so far. Sooner than later, they would end up with me. The discussion would have to end.

"You really are a nice woman, Fiona. And now, I can't help but acknowledge my mistakes. I feel ashamed for letting this happen." I gestured to my belly.

"No, child. No pregnancy is a mistake. No matter how the parents are, a child is innocent."

I nodded through the turmoil grilling within me.

"And no matter how a child turns out to be, we owe them our love."

As I thanked her, something occurred to me.

"What part of town is this?" I looked around in search of stickers, fliers, anything at all that would be a clue. "Is this far from Bologna?"

"Three hours at least. Any problem?"

I wet my lips as I prepared to ask for a follow-up question, "Where's the nearest tram station?"