Chapter 49 Backfire
>>Mael
No
I shook my head
No!
I couldn’t accept it.
NO! NO! NO!!
This can’t be happening!!
I stared in the mirror with my eyes wide open. I had come back after attending classes but throughout the day I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly and now I’m looking at the reason why.
How could this be?!
I looked at my body and kept shaking my head. I had taken off my chest binder because it was the only thing that allowed me to breathe comfortably again.
I’m done for. I can’t believe this is happening, this late in life at that!
Knock, knock
!!!
The sound of knocking on the bathroom door scared me for a moment since I was immersed in my thoughts.
“Mael?” Eli called, “Are you alright?” My heart was definitely not. I felt nauseous and scared, “I can smell your pheromones all the way here.” His words made me panic more and I pulled down my shirt in fear.
Are my pheromones getting stronger too?!
Oh no
I shook my head as I began to fret even more.
“Mael?” I looked at the door and walked to it.
“Eli,” I opened the door but didn’t look at him, “I have a problem…” I was confused, utterly, and completely demented. My thoughts weren’t lining up to make sense because of how much was going around my head.
“Why?” He stood in the door frame, “What’s wrong?”
Should I even ask Eli for help!? Isn’t this my problem?
I frowned, “It’s nothing,” I pushed him aside to walk away but he caught my wrist.
“Tell me,” He stopped me from moving, “What’s the problem?” He demanded an answer.
I gulped and raised my head to look at his face. Then I grabbed his hand and took him to the bedroom.
“Mael?” He started getting suspicious, “Your hands are cold.” He frowned, “What’s wrong?! You have to say something for me to know,”
“My body,” I replied and then pursed my lips tight.
“What?” Of course, he wouldn’t understand with just one word. I should show him.
I sat him down on the bed and then placed myself on top of him. Then I took my shirt off, under which I wore nothing. His eyes went wide at the view and an automatic childish smile spread across his face.
“My body’s changing.” I grabbed my breasts, “They’ve gotten bigger.” I frowned, “My waist is getting curvier!” This is why I had difficulty breathing too.
“Yea…” He replied softly with his eyes stuck on my naked skin, “I can see,” His hand moved to touch the plump part of my torso, and only when his fingers came in contact with my bare skin did I come to my rational senses.
I slapped his hand away, “You pervert!” I covered my chest as my face flushed, “What are you doing?!”
“What?” He still wasn’t looking at my face, “How do you expect me to not look when you presented yourself on a golden platter!” He gently grabbed my waist making my body flinch.
I kept my arms crossed in front of my chest, “E-Eli, this is a serious matter.” I looked at him in fury.
“Can I please touch?” He finally looked into my eyes but only to give me puppy eyes, “I can’t resist.” His fingers softly dug into the sides of my waist, “Just once?” His eyes flashes a glow of gold and I realized he was getting excited.
“No!!” I grabbed my shirt and wore it to cover myself and got off of him
“Tch!” I heard him click his tongue in disappointment.
“The heck is wrong with you! I came to you with a serious issue.” I looked at him with clear disappointment on my face, “This!” I pointed at myself, “This whole thing seemed to have backfired!” This is most likely because I’m off my pills and haven’t been injected in weeks.
He folded his legs on the bed and looked at me, “How long do you think you could play this game?” His expression suddenly got serious.
“Huh?”
“Did you think you’d be able to carry out this facade your whole life?” He shook his head, “You're a dominant omega, as you grow older, without a mate or marking, your wolf will only grow wilder, your pheromones will act out more and you really think you can hide all your life?” He sighed, “Clearly your body wants freedom.”
“....” My eyes went wide at his words.
He was right.
It was impossible to hide for life…
“That’s why as soon as it got the chance, it took it.” He stood up from the bed and stepped towards me, “You can’t deny what you are.” He looked at me with a grim expression, “There has to be a point of breaking.”
A wave of shiver went down my spine at his words. I clenched my fists in embarrassment and looked down in devastation.
“But,” I honestly never had the courage to think about the future, “Bu-but,” I gulped, “What will I do?” I started getting scared, “What about mom? It was hard on her to raise us on her own” I started losing to my thoughts, “What about dad? What will happen when he finds out-” I shook my head, “When he has to face reality?” I grabbed my head, “What about Amara? She can only go to that omega school because I’m doing this! It’s too expensive otherwise!” My pupils began to shake as I tried to gather my thoughts.
“Mael!” Eli grabbed my hands, brought them down from my head, and squeezed them in his, “It’s alright.”
“No!” I looked back at him with tear-filled eyes, “Everything will come crumbling down if I fail!”
“It’s bound to happen at one point!” He said, “You can’t lie your whole life!”
“But,” I felt the sense of doom loom over me, “But, how-” I shook my head, “What about my punishment?” Anxiety began to fill my mind and I felt my chest get queasy with guilt.
“Wait-” Eli frowned, “What?! What punishment?”
“For what I did to Mael, I’m supposed to make things right!”
An expression of disbelief overcame his face, “No!” He shook his head, “Have you never tried to run away or expose reality because you think you’re at fault!?”
“But I am at fault!” Tears brimmed in my eyes.
“No!” He shook his head, “No, you’re not!”
“How can you say that!?” I tried to hold back my tears but my eyes began to sting, “How can you say that when I killed your childhood friend!?”
My words were a blow to him. I saw his eyes go wide and after a split second of pause he gritted his teeth, “It’s because he’s my friend!” He raised his voice and I felt his grip on my hands tighten, “That he was already in pain living like that!” I saw his pupils shake, “I knew he wanted to escape, that’s why he told me not to visit him. He was planning on leaving!”
“That doesn’t change the fact I killed him!” I knew the fear and guilt were on my face. I could see it through Eli’s eyes.
“He asked for liberation!” I saw him break down, “And you gave it to him!” His voice cracked a little, “You set him free!” He gulped, “He wasn’t going to live for more than a few months anyway…” He let my hands go and stepped back, “He simply chose to escape the pain.”
“Still, it was from my hands…” I put my left hand on my right arm as I looked away, “I took a life and a child away from their parents.” My body began to shake, “How can I wipe that away?” I couldn’t hold it in anymore and tears started strolling down my cheeks.
Eli didn’t like the view. He stepped in and pulled me into his embrace.
People may think it’s nothing much. Accidentally, unknowingly, killing a child who was going to die anyway but none of these people have actually gone through this. Mael even asked me for that but having the label or someone’s murder on your hands will always haunt your nights. No matter who it is you’ve wiped from the face of this earth, it will haunt you. May it be the worst man alive, may it be the oldest woman on earth, or may it be a child already on the brink of death.
You’re going to feel guilty nonetheless.
“Hey,” Eli released his pheromones to calm me, “It’s going to be alright.” He began to rub circles on my back, “We can think about it slowly,” His cozy embrace and the scent of rain began to do their magic, “We’ll figure it out.”
I moved my hands and wrapped them around him as I buried myself deeper into his embrace.
“You know, all my life, I’ve assumed that my mother was assaulted or something like that but recently, I’ve noticed something.” We sat on his bed side by side, talking about random things.
“What?” The room was full of our mixed scents, so it felt cozy.
“I’ve never seen my parents together so I never caught it but it seems my mom is quite fond of my father.” I leaned my head against his shoulder, “Now I feel like dad and mom might be hiding something from me.”
“Like?”
“Like the accident between them, that resulted in me and Amara might not have been an accident.”
“Hmm?” He leaned his head on mine, “How so?”
“Just a feeling.”
“I see,” He kept rubbing circles on my hand with his thumb, “Have you calmed down now?”
“A little..”
“Don’t worry,” He tried to comfort me more, “We’ll figure things out.”
“Hmmm.”
>>Laina
No matter how much I think about it, it doesn’t make sense. Heat pills? Alpha hormones?
The conversation Mael and Amara had in that cafe only make sense one way.
I pursed my lips as I tried to accept reality even though it was hard.
I wanted to surprise them by showing them I had learned how to sign but before I could, I learned of something horrible.
Doesn’t this mean Mael has been lying to everyone! He’s actually an omega who’s deceiving the world. I’ve never gotten to see his face that clearly, he always has those ugly glasses on but no wonder!! He’s such a pretty boy behind them because he’s an omega.
A dominant one at that. I clenched my fists. Only dominant omegas are that pretty.
I gritted my teeth. He’s been lying to me too and for years at that!
Did he find it funny? Did he feel superior hanging out with a recessive omega wolf like me?! Was he secretly having fun thinking he was better than me!?
I clenched my fists in anger as the humiliation began to set in.
How cruel of him!