Chapter 48 Confessions
>>Mael (present)
We both finished telling our parts and I wiped the tears that almost made it down my cheeks and glanced back at Eli.
“So,” There was a look of pleasant surprise on his face, “Your name’s Grace.” He spoke softly
!!!
Ah!
I nodded as I got a little shy, “Yes,” Right, in between my storytelling I ended up telling him my real name.
“It’s a beautiful name.” His compliment made my heart bloom in glee and just to hide how happy his words made me feel, I looked away.
“Thank you,” I replied and then cleared my throat, “You had more to say about our first meeting.” I brought my legs next to my chest, “What about it?’
He looked at the ceiling, “I first saw you when you were twelve, I was fourteen and the moment I saw you, I knew you weren’t him but I couldn’t say anything at all even though I was shocked,” He glanced at my direction, “Because the moment I saw you, I knew you were my mate.”
I pursed my lips, “If you had exposed me, that wouldn’t change the fact that we were mates.”
He smiled, “Initially, I was torn between shouting out the truth because I lost my friend or keeping my mouth shut because opening it might mean I will lose my mate as well.”
“Ah… So that’s why you never said anything.” I leaned on the seat and looked back at him as I rested my arms near his pelvis, “You thought we might never meet again if you blew it up?”
He nodded, “Another reason would be that I had no proof and I had nothing to present to the world. Even when it came to you, the Almas safeguarded everything so well, penetration was impossible.” He smirked, “The Alpha Academy was my only option for getting close to you and uncovering things.”
“Hmm~” Something still bothered me, “How come you never made a mistake? If you knew I was a girl, it could have slipped out at one point.”
“Because to make sure I don’t, I’ve always referred to you as a male.” I raised my brows at him and his smile widened, “Even in my mind,” He chuckled, “Because I never wanted to make a mistake when it came to you.”
His words made me feel shy again but I did my best to compose myself.
“How’d you figure out something was wrong?”
“I knew something was wrong because you never reacted to me.” He looked into my eyes, “But this feeling could not have been shared by me alone.”
“So, is that why you started calling me abnormal?”
“No,” He paused, “That wasn’t the reason why I started it but the fact that you’re not normal is a fact.”
“Then why did you do it?’
“To keep the bugs away from you.”
“What-!?” I frowned, “What’s that even supposed to mean?”
“Alphas start getting sturdier in their pre-teens but people found it suspicious when you were still a lanky small figure in your teenage.” His words hit me and for a second, my eyes went wide, “And everyone thought something was suspicious. To divert it to a place no one would bother you, I started calling you abnormal.” I glared at him, “People believed it also because you were sick the whole early part of your life.” He paused.
“That’s the best you could come up with? Making me an outcast?”
“I was afraid they’d harm you to find the truth.” He licked his lips and his gaze dropped but I kept my eyes on him, “The first time I said that you were abnormal in front of people was merely something I just blurted out.” He smiled, “But people seemed to agree. They were satisfied with that. So I spread it.”
I rolled my eyes, “And after that, you continued to bully me.” I shook my head at him in disappointment.
“I didn’t want anyone to touch you, so I made you my target. We’re people of hierarchy and I knew that there was barely anyone who would go against me, So I would annoy you whenever I could.” He looked back at me, “I was waiting for you,” His beautiful green eyes stared into mine, “I believed at some point you’d realize you were mine,” He shrugged, “Someday,” He let out a soft exhale, “But it just wasn’t coming.”
…
“Did that scare you?” I moved my hand and placed it on top of his hand.
He nodded, “So much, that at times I did go a little overboard with my bullying but have I ever really hurt you?”
I shook my head, “No… But you were very annoying.” He smirked at my remark.
“I was afraid,” He placed my hand on his chest, “I thought you might have rejected me.”
“How could I do that when I didn’t even know?”
"I was mad … I ‘thought’ you might have rejected me, even though rejection has a process and you couldn’t have done that alone. I even waited two years to apply to the Alpha academy.” He looked into my eyes, “Because I had to be with you.”
“What is wrong with you?” I teased him a little.
“It was an opportunity to stay with you closely. Something you and your family never allow otherwise. That’s why I thought I had to get to the bottom of things. I knew there was something wrong. Especially because my wait was leading me nowhere.”
"How could I do that when I never even knew we were mates." I sighed, “Although, Do you have any idea how worried I was when you were gone? I thought you might be rejecting me.”
His gaze dropped,
…
A rather broken smirk spread on his lips, “I’m sure those few days will never compare to my years' worth of suffering.” His tone was low but the impact it delivered was rather large.
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His words shamed me.
It wasn’t his intention but it made me realize how stupid I am. In the sweet and sour silence in the room, our words reached each other’s feelings.
"I got it after a while…” He said, “I thought something was wrong with you because to reject me you had to say it to my face " He gave me a broken smile and my heart hurt. I felt so stupid and guilty, "But it still killed me every day," He whispered, making my feelings sting and my eyes water, then he gulped, "Loving you alone."
Those words, they hurt my heart so much that they brought tears to my eyes.
I wonder how lonely he felt waiting for me who never even knew. Those few days, less than a week, were torturous for me.
How agonizing would it have been for him? To look at his mate, all alone, to hope for something but receive nothing. To wish for better days but get nothing.
How miserable it would have been for him to love someone like me, alone, from afar. Yet be there to protect me.
“I’m sorry,” I turned my whole body towards him, “I’m so sorry.”
“Well, you weren’t at fault.” He whispered and I gently placed my hands on his cheek, “I know it wasn’t done on purpose.”
“Still,” I sniffled and a few droplets fell on his chest, “I’m sorry you had to be alone.” Now that I had begun to connect with him, I felt his pain on a deeper level.
He smiled and wiped the corners of my eyes, “Well, as long as we’ll be together now. It’s fine.”
My heart warmed at his words and I realized that I really wanted this man to be happy, “I promise,” I looked at him with determination, “I’ll stay with you till the end.”
He brought his other hand to my neck, “No matter what?” I felt his fingers brush against the back of my neck
“No matter what!”
“In any situation?” The locks of my hair intertwined between his fingers as he played with them and it made me blush.
I nodded, “Wherever you want me.”
“I like the look in your eyes.” He smiled softly
“What look?” I asked.
“Like you’re in love with me.” Our exchange of words was soft. Like whispers in the wind.
“I am.” I confessed, “I’m in love with you Eli.” I kissed his forehead