Chapter 165 165
"C-Can I just escape? I really want to escape this feeling, Crescent... I know this is an easy way out, but I can't take this anymore." Tears escaped from his eyes. "I'm being killed every day since our child was lost because of me... I-I don't want this anymore, Crescent. I'm so tired... I-I want to sleep peacefully, I want to feel warmth again... I'm really having a hard time... It's so hard, Crescent... The pain just gets worse every day... I-It hurts so much.
E-Every day I wake up, I don't remember anything else but the fact that our child was lost because of me. I-I wish it was just me... I wish I was the one who was lost. It really hurts so much... I-I can't take it anymore. I really can't." His crying got louder as if he was letting out all the pain in his heart.
I covered my mouth as I heard Luca crying... he completely sobbed as his tears continued to flow... He's so weak right now... as if he really wants to give up.
"S-Stop this, Luca... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Please, it's not your fault. Y-You don't deserve to suffer like this... I'm sorry..." I sobbed. It's like a knife is repeatedly stabbing my heart as I see him now.
I didn't waste any time and immediately held his hand, then pulled him away from where he was standing. We both fell and sat on the floor when we lost our balance... It feels like my arms moved on their own to pull him and hug him. He also hugged me. We stayed in that position while he was crying in my arms.
I closed my eyes tightly as tears escaped from my eyes... That's enough. I've been selfish and cruel enough. He suffered enough, he suffered more than he should have... That's enough.
I hugged him tighter before I finally told him the truth he has the right to know... the truth that will set him free...
"O-Our child is alive. The kid I was with earlier, she's our child... O-Our child is alive, Luca."
My body feels heavy when I woke up. I also feel like my eyes are swollen from all the crying last night. I just groaned and held my temple because my head was throbbing. I just shook my head and was about to stand up, but I was stunned when I noticed that I wasn't in my own bed.
Shoot. I remember now. I brought Luca to his unit and watched over him until he fell asleep because I was scared he would do something else. I just bit my lower lip and hit my own head... I probably fell asleep here last night because of exhaustion.
I immediately got up and went out of the room to look for Luca. I was stunned when I saw him in the kitchen and it looked like he was cooking. I just cleared my throat and went in his direction. I sat on a chair nearby and touched my arm. Luca looked at me; he was still wearing an apron.
"Good morning," he said casually, then went back to cooking.
"G-Good morning," I just said and held the back of my neck.
"I saw you sleeping on the couch earlier; I moved you to the bed. Sorry for touching you without your permission," he just said while focusing on what he was cooking.
"Um, i-it's okay," I said awkwardly.
Luca didn't say anything else and just served the food. He put the fried rice with egg, bacon, and hotdog in front of me, then sat across from me. I just bit my lower lip and looked at him when he started eating.
Right, Cad told me that Luca forgets what he does the next day when he gets heavily drunk. I remember that something like that happened before... Does that mean I have to tell him about our child again? Now that he's not drunk and is in his right mind?
"Um, L-Luca--"
"When can I see our child?" he asked seriously, then looked at me.
"H-Huh?" I was stunned by what he said.
"Last night... you said that our child is alive; you're not kidding, right?" he asked and looked at his food.
"Y-Yes, it's true," I muttered and gripped the spoon tighter.
Luca didn't say anything else and continued eating. I was expecting him to shout at me and get mad... but he's just calmly eating his food like I didn't drop a bomb on him last night.
"L-Luca... D-Don't you have anything else to say? W-Why are you not reacting?" I asked. I couldn't help but ask.
Luca drank his water and looked at me. "I was surprised as fuck, Crescent. I really thought that our child didn't survive..." He rubbed his nape. "I don't know what to feel. I was happy, disappointed... I was jealous, I find it unfair. But what else can I do? Getting mad won't do anything either. I should just do whatever I can to make it up to our child," he just said.
"A-Aren't you mad at me?" I asked and bit the insides of my cheeks.
Luca was silent for a moment and stared at me. "Cad said you were alone for three years... You had a hard time too. I know it's not easy to give birth alone. You suffered too... there's no use in inflicting hate upon each other anymore. Besides... I can't get mad at you. Let's just do our best for our child," he just said, then took another spoonful of fried rice.
I couldn't say anything. I just swallowed and quietly continued eating... I smiled bitterly and stared at the rice... Luca is too kind. Looking back, he doesn't deserve all the torment that he had experienced. I didn't expect him to forgive me easily. I was too blinded by how I saw him before... now I realize even more that he's a good person.
Luca stood up and put his plate in the sink and washed it after he ate. He went back to the table and looked at me. I just bit the inside of my cheek and ate quickly. I almost choked from the rush, but Luca immediately handed me a glass of water.
I immediately drank it. "T-Thank you," I just said.
"But your boyfriend... I won't forgive him easily, Crescent," he said seriously while staring intently at me.
I was stunned by what he said. I want to defend Aiden, but I know that won't help at all. Anyone in his position would get mad... Thinking about it, Aiden really made a reckless move back then.
"I'm not really a good man that you're expecting, Crescent. Your asshole boyfriend is a fucking opportunist. I'm thinking, how should I make that fucktard suffer? You seem so important to him that he threw away his fucking ethics as a doctor just to have you... Should I use you to make him suffer?" he asked while looking at me with those intense eyes... They are no longer lifeless, but it scares me.
"W-What do you mean?" I asked, nervous.
He put his palms on the table. He leaned forward and stared at me as our faces are just a few inches away. "What I mean... should I just steal you from him, huh, Crescent?"