Chapter 157 157
"My goodness, Eve Havannah North! What have you done?" I tried my best not to raise my voice at her. I love my daughter more than anything, but I'm not going to spoil her.
My daughter pouted her lips and raised her eyebrow. She even crossed her arms, which she always does whenever she's irritated. My goodness. Why is she like this?!
"Mommy, I didn't do anything wrong," Havannah said and gave me her typical puppy-eyes look. She really does that because she knows I can't say no to it, but not this time.
"Vanna, you're only six years old! Why did your teacher tell me you have a boyfriend in your classroom?!"
Her godmother, Ivana, burst out laughing at what I said. I just glared at her and crossed my arms... This woman too, she's one of the people who spoils Vanna the most. Add my siblings, who give Vanna almost everything she wants, no matter how much I try to stop them. I raised Vanna well, but I don't know why she's so... my goodness, I couldn't even describe her attitude! Why didn't she take after me?
"Mommy, teacher is lying. It's not a boyfriend; it's boyfriends... with an 's,' because there are three of them," Havannah said with a pout.
I held the back of my neck and almost fell, but Ivana immediately supported me. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. It seems like my daughter gives me high blood pressure every day.
"T-That's not the point here, Vanna. Why do you have boyfriends? How did you even know that? Do you know what a boyfriend is?!" I asked with my hands on my hips. My face must be bright red now from frustration.
"Of course, Mommy. Boyfriends are like slaves, right? My three boyfriends are doing all the things that I want; they also give me everything I want... My boyfriends are my slaves, Mommy. So, they are very important," Vanna said and crossed her arms. She also smiled triumphantly at me as if she didn't do anything wrong.
"My goodness, Eve Havannah! Boyfriends are not like what you're thinking. You're too young to have one. Your boyfriend is someone that you love... Do you love your oh-so-called boyfriends?!"
Vanna shook her head. "No, Mommy. I only love you, Ninang Ivana, and my uncles and auntie," she said innocently.
"Exactly. You can't have them as boyfriends because you don't love them," I explained.
Vanna sighed and pouted her cute, pouty lips. "Okay, Mommy. I'll just break up with them... I won't have anyone to order around anymore," she whispered the last part, sounding like she was sulking.
"Havannah," I said in a threatening tone.
She just pouted and came to me, then hugged my waist. She gave me her sweetest smile; her cute smile and her light brown eyes made me weak... Her eye color is the same as her father's... I just shook my head and stroked her naturally dark brown hair. I fixed her bangs and sighed.
"Vanna... you're making your Mommy sad. It feels like I'm not a good mother to you. I'm sorry if I'm often busy with work and I can't always watch over you," I said and stroked her hair.
Fear and worry were etched in her eyes because of what I said. Vanna may be a bratty kid, but she really loves me. She really hates it when I'm sad or when I say things like this. I know I'm her weakness too, and I'm kind of using it against her right now.
"M-Mommy, I'm sorry. Please don't be sad, Mommy. I'll be a good girl now," she said with her teary eyes.
As far as I can remember, she's said that a few times already. But I just shook my head and bent down, then kissed both of her cheeks. She hugged my nape and kissed me all over my face. I just shook my head and carried her, even though she's really heavy now.
Raising Vanna by myself wasn't easy. I didn't immediately go here to Batangas after leaving Manila; I was pregnant in Mindoro. Ivana and my siblings didn't hear from me during that time... I had no choice but to work alone, give birth alone, take care of Vanna alone... cry alone.
I took care of Vanna for three years before I finally went back to Batangas. My siblings were so surprised when they saw that I had a child. Of course, I also didn't escape their lecture; I know they were so worried during the three years that I didn't contact them. I also immediately told Ivana about it, so she immediately rushed here. For now, she just comes here to Batangas during her work vacations. My hardships were lessened when I came back to Batangas because my siblings also took good care of Vanna. I was able to work properly; for now, I'm working in the marketing department of a company here in Batangas for the past three years. When I think about everything, it feels like six years passed by so quickly.
My siblings asked me a few times who Vanna's father is... but I didn't answer them. It seems Ivana knows that I don't want to tell them about it, so she also doesn't say anything whenever Cashiel asks her. I'm thankful for that. Ivana really knows what to do even if I don't tell her.
"Cres... are you really not planning on introducing Vanna's father to them? Or at least to Vanna?" Ivana asked while drinking coke. We're here on the veranda, just hanging out while looking at the stars in the sky.
Cashiel hasn't come home yet; they really work late, especially Cashiel, who always handles a lot of cases. To be honest, sometimes I worry about him because he really chose criminal law. Cherry is now working here in Batangas after five years of working in Canada as a nurse. Clyde, on the other hand, is in Makati and is working there as a civil engineer; he also comes home here every weekend when he has time.
I first checked on Vanna, who was busy watching Barbie in the living room, before I faced Ivana. It's risky; Vanna might hear us talking about her father again.
"I don't... I don't want to talk about him, Ivana. For me, he's not Vanna's father. I already removed him from my life and my system... My life is peaceful now, and I know his is too. It's better for us to continue like this. I prefer this," I just said and leaned my back on the backrest.
Ivana went silent for a second before she spoke. "But... have you forgiven him? Do you still feel any anger towards him?"
I smiled a little. "To be honest, I already forgave him the moment I found out my child was alive. If you'll come to think of it, I was the one who pushed myself onto him even though I knew he loved someone else. He didn't know that I was pregnant at that time either... and I can see that he was hurt when he thought I had a miscarriage... I don't hold grudges against him anymore... but it doesn't mean that I want him back in my life. I don't want him to come back into my life again... We're both okay now, Ivana. That's enough," I just said and looked at the sky again.
Ivana sighed and rested her back too. "You're really kind, Crescent. That man just wasted you," she said, shaking her head.
I just chuckled and shook my head. "I told you, right? Let's not talk about him anymore."
"Okay, fine... Let's not talk about Havannah's father anymore," she said, emphasizing the word 'father.'
"My Daddy?!"
Both Ivana and I flinched when we heard Vanna's voice from behind us. I immediately turned to her. She's smiling from ear to ear while hugging her pink teddy bear with a ribbon.
"Mommy! You're talking about my Daddy, right? Where is he now?" she asked and immediately sat on my lap.
I just cleared my throat and looked at Ivana to ask for help. "Um, didn't I tell you that your father is a soldier? I don't know where he is now," I just said and looked at her, then forced a smile.
Vanna pouted and hugged her teddy bear tighter. "Mommy, I know that you're lying."
"I'm not lying, baby. Your daddy is really a soldier, but um, he's not with us now. I don't have any news about him," I just said. Even though I don't plan on telling Vanna about Luca, I still don't want to badmouth him to our child.
I also can't say that Luca only gave me bad memories... There are also good memories.
"Mommy, I really, really want to meet him. Is it really not possible?" she asked.
My heart softened. "Baby, am I not enough for you? I'm your mommy, but I'm your Daddy too, right?" I asked and caressed her face.