Scottie made it out of Trenton’s house and to the driveway before remembering that he hadn’t actually driven himself there. Trenton had picked him up the night before.
He looked back toward the door to the house. Was he really going to go back inside, back to Trenton’s bedroom and ask for a ride home?
No.
Hell, no.
That was the last thing he was going to do. Scottie would walk home if he had to.
So he started walking, but only got to the end of the block before he realized just how long it would take him. Silver Lake wasn’t that big, but Scottie and Trenton lived on opposite sides of town, and Scottie wasn’t really looking forward to walking several miles first thing in the morning in last night’s clothes.
He fished his phone from his pocket, intending to call Calvin, but then he stopped himself. Did he want to answer a bunch of questions about what had just happened before Calvin even got here?
Worse, did he want to run the risk of Calvin going to confront Trenton about it?
No, he definitely did not want either of those things to happen.
And those same reasons meant he couldn’t call Gage for a ride, either.
Hopefully an Uber wouldn’t take too long to get there. Scottie found the app on his phone and made arrangements to get picked up, then sat down on the curb and waited.
To anyone passing by or looking out their windows, Scottie must have looked like a hot mess, but he didn’t care. He was simply too angry and too hurt to give a damn about what anyone thought of him—and that included Trenton.
Scottie shoved a hand back through his hair and tried to blink back the tears that were welling up. How had that conversation even started? How had they both been so in sync for days—weeks, now—and then… suddenly they weren’t?
Had they ever really been on the same page at all?
Scottie felt like he had been genuine, open, and honest with Trenton from the start, and he really felt like Trenton had been that way with him, too.
It wasn’t some sort of shock or surprised to find out that Trenton didn’t get along with Calvin, Jack, Gage, and Newton. Scottie had known that since… forever.
But what he hadn’t realized was how deep the dislike ran. He hadn’t realized how personally Trenton had taken the disagreement or whatever it was at the root of that dislike.
And worse, he didn’t really see any way to fix it.
The upcoming city council vote would only make things more tense between them, but Scottie wasn’t going to back down from that now. Not for the sake of avoiding an argument.
He believed in the position he and his friends had taken just as strongly as Trenton believed in the other side. Scottie had hoped that he could show Trenton why he believed his position—to keep the big businesses out of Silver Lake—would ultimately be better for the town, since telling him hadn’t seemed to work out at all.
Apparently, Scottie either hadn’t done a good job of demonstrating the benefits of locally owned and operated businesses, or Trenton just hadn’t cared.
Not that it made a difference now. Scottie was pretty sure they weren’t ever going to be able to see eye to eye on that topic at this point.
And then there was the situation with Trenton’s sexuality.
Scottie hadn’t intended on bringing that up. He hadn’t wanted to argue about something that was ultimately a very personal thing for Trenton.
He certainly hadn’t wanted to give any kind of ultimatum.
But he had accidentally done all of those things.
Scottie sighed and checked his phone. The Uber driver was nearby, thank goodness.
He just wanted to get home, take a shower, go get his dog, and forget about this morning.
He didn’t want to be angry. Or hurt. Or confused.
All he wanted was Trenton.
But the look on Trenton’s face and the feeling in Scottie’s gut had told him everything he needed to know.
He and Trenton were just too far apart on too many things. It might not be anyone’s fault, but the outcome was the same.
They weren’t together now.
They might not ever be.
And the thing that made Scottie the saddest?
He was starting to realize that they hadn’t ever really been together at all. They had both been lying to themselves, fooling themselves for different reasons.
Scottie could see that he’d been wrong to think he could make Trenton see things his way, that he could somehow be the one to bring Trenton out of the closet.
That wasn’t how things worked, though. It wasn’t how life worked.
And it wasn’t fair to himself or to Trenton to expect it to work out that way.
On any other day, Scottie would have been happy to see Gage walk through the door of the coffee shop. On any other day, he would have smiled and greeted Gage from across the room.
Today wasn’t like all the other days, though. Scottie couldn’t make himself smile. He couldn’t pretend to be happy today when all he felt inside was confusion and sadness.
Even Sasha had barely been able to cheer him up earlier.
“What’s wrong?” Gage asked, as soon as he stepped up to the counter where Scottie had been working. “You’re not smiling and you’re too quiet. I don’t like it.”
Scottie sighed. “I don’t like it, either. Can I get you a latte?”
“I’m okay for now,” Gage said, shaking his head. “I’m more concerned with whatever is going on with you. Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s nothing,” Scottie lied. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”
Scottie knew he wasn’t being very convincing. He honestly wasn’t even trying, because it didn’t matter. He would be fine, eventually. He just needed some time to sort things out.
His feelings for Trenton might have developed quickly, but untangling them was proving to be a hell of a lot slower.
“Yes,” Gage said. “You will be fine. Whatever has you down right now won’t last forever. I can at least promise you that much. But I don’t think you’re fine at the moment. I don’t think you’re fine at all.” He paused for a beat, then asked, “Is it something about Trenton?”
Scottie hesitated. He didn’t want to talk about it. Not here. Not today. But he couldn’t stop his head from nodding. And anyway, Gage knew him well enough to guess as much, even without any clues.
Gage’s expression hardened. “What did he do? Wait, don’t answer that yet.” Gage nodded toward the back of the shop. “Let’s go to your office.”
Scottie heaved out a long sigh as he walked the short distance from the front counter to his office in the back with Gage right behind him.
He didn’t see the point in talking about what had happened with Trenton that morning. If he couldn’t talk to Trenton about it, what good would it be to tell anyone else?
But he also knew how persistent Gage could be, and sometimes it was easier just to give in.
Gage followed Scottie inside the office and then closed the door behind him. “Look,” Gage said. “I understand if you don’t want to talk. I’m here for you regardless. Just tell me you’re okay, because that’s all I care about. If you’re okay, I’ll leave you alone and you can tell me what happened—or not—whenever you’re ready.”
Scottie opened his mouth to speak, to tell Gage again that he was fine, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead, he could feel the tears he’d been holding back start to roll down his face.
“Oh, Scottie,” Gage said, his huge arms enveloping Scottie in a bear hug. “I’m sorry. It really will be okay, though. I promise it will. Go ahead and cry if you need to.”
Scottie sucked in a ragged breath and clung to Gage for a few moments as he tried to pull himself together. Finally, Scottie stepped back from the hug and shook his head.
“Everything was going so well,” Scottie said. “We had such a great time last night—just like all the other times we’ve spent together. I don’t really even know what happened, but this morning it all sort of—” His voice broke, and he dashed at his cheeks as a new wave of tears appeared. “It all just sort of came crashing down.”
Gage’s expression was full of sympathy and seeing how much he truly cared only made Scottie feel worse for trying to hide things from him before.
“Did you guys argue?” Gage asked. “What happened this morning that was so different from every other day?”
“Somehow we started talking about business,” Scottie said, sniffling as he shrugged. “I don’t even know how it came up. We were both barely even awake. But I mentioned the photoshoot and Trenton got defensive and started talking about the city council vote, and one thing just sort of led to another.”
“So you guys were arguing about work?” Gage’s eyebrows knitted together. “But… you’ve both known how the other felt about that city council stuff all along, right?”
“Yeah, but I guess I was hoping he’d change his mind somewhere along the way.” Scottie huffed out a short breath. “Maybe he was hoping I’d do the same. But that wasn’t the worst part. I mean, I was upset about that stuff, but I think we could have figured it out if that had been the only problem. Maybe. Eventually.”
“Oh, man,” The hesitation in Gage’s voice was clear. “It got worse?”
Scottie nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. He could still vividly picture the hurt as it flashed across Trenton’s face. He could hear the anger in his voice, the years of misunderstandings finally bubbling to the surface.
It would have been painful to watch regardless of how Scottie felt about the man. But Scottie hadn’t been prepared to have that anger directed at him. He hadn’t been prepared to answer for all of his friends. And he sure as hell hadn’t intended to leave the way he had.
“I told him that I thought I understood him—that I thought we understood each other.” Scottie opened his eyes again, but his vision was so blurry from the tears that he could only make out the hulking shape of Gage. He couldn’t see the expression on his face anymore, which was maybe for the best. “But I told him that I didn’t want to wait around if he couldn’t even admit that we’d been dating…”
Even through the tears, he could see Gage wince. “Oh, Scottie. I’m so sorry.”
“He didn’t even try to stop me when I left. He didn’t say I was wrong. He didn’t say anything.” Scottie drew in another long breath and held it for a moment before exhaling. “So I left. What else could I have done? I was just so hurt and angry and… and confused. I still am.”
Gage reached out and gave him another quick hug. “You have every right to feel the way you do. I wish I had some advice that would make all of that hurt and anger and confusion go away, but only time will do that. Just know that you’re not wrong. And I’m not saying he’s totally to blame, either. Sometimes things just… don’t work out. But I’m here for you anytime you need a friend, and so is Newton. And Calvin. And Jack. We’re all here for you, Scottie. We all care about what happens to you.”
“Thank you,” Scottie said. He didn’t feel better after letting all of that out, but he didn’t feel worse, either. Just… empty. And tired. “Sorry to sort of unload all this craziness on you like that.”
“No need to apologize.” Gage gave him an understanding smile. “If you can’t talk to your friends about stuff like this, who can you talk to?”
He knew Gage was right, and Scottie was so thankful to have friends who actually cared. And he knew things would get better eventually. Somehow. But he also knew he might need to cry on Gage’s—or Newton’s, or Calvin’s, or Jack’s—shoulder again before it did get better.
And even though he was still pissed off at Trenton, Scottie hoped that somewhere across town, he had an understanding friend with a shoulder to cry on, too.
No matter what their differences were, they were the same in that regard. They had both still had their feelings hurt. They were both still in pain.
Scottie couldn’t imagine trying to go through it all on his own, and he didn’t wish that on Trenton, either.