Trenton closed his eyes and rubbed the sides of his forehead as he leaned back in his office chair. It felt like he’d had about five minutes of sleep the night before, and the fact that his head was already starting to hurt at seven in the morning was definitely not a good sign.
He probably deserved it, though.
“Trenton?” The voice of his head cashier, Julie, made him open his eyes and look back over his shoulder toward the office door. “Sorry to bother you, but the coffee vendor is up front and he wants you to take a look at a catalog or… something.”
Trenton sighed. That was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. “Can you tell him I’m busy, please?”
She hesitated, then frowned. “I’ll tell him, but… he was pretty insistent that you come up and talk to him…”
“Not today, Julie.” Trenton shook his head. “Tell him I’m in a meeting or on the phone. Tell him I left.”
Tell him I quit.
“And if he huffs and puffs some more up there?” She sounded desperate, and his heart went out to her. The coffee vendor was a cranky old man on the best of days. But Trenton seriously couldn’t trust himself to be professional right now.
He just… couldn’t.
“Then tell him there’s another coffee shop right across the street. Let him huff and puff over there.” Trenton winced as the words came out of his mouth—both because his head hurt more every time he spoke, and because he really didn’t like the idea of inflicting the old man on Scottie, either.
But Julie had disappeared from the doorway before he could tell her otherwise. Not that she would ever be so rude as to tell someone to go away, but still, Trenton shouldn’t have sent her out there to do his dirty work.
If he didn’t own the business, if there was anyone who could possibly take his place for a day—or even just for a few hours—this would have been the perfect morning to call in sick. Or tired. Or confused.
Whatever it took.
He picked up the phone on his desk and started to dial the number to Steamin’ Beans before catching himself and hanging up again. He desperately wanted to talk to Scottie—or at least to check on him, to apologize for last night.
But even if he knew the right words to say, now wouldn’t have been the time to say them. His brain had already been short-circuiting from all of the conflicting emotions he’d been experiencing over the past several days, and it wouldn’t help matters that he was operating on a severe lack of sleep.
Trenton still didn’t know what had made him lean over and kiss Scottie the night before. He still didn’t know whether it actually meant something or if he had simply gotten caught up in the moment somehow, the wine and his own raging, mis-firing hormones conspiring against him to make him take a chance that he normally wouldn’t have even considered.
It might have been different—or at least easier to deny—if Scottie had made the first move, if Scottie had been the one to lean in and plant that kiss on Trenton’s waiting lips.
That hadn’t happened, though.
Of all the things that were muddled in his brain, he could remember that moment with surprising clarity. Trenton had been the one to make eye contact first. Trenton had been the one to let his eyes roam over Scottie’s upturned face before settling on those deliciously sweet lips.
Trenton had been the one to lean forward, to inhale the clean, soapy scent of Scottie’s skin right before their lips met, and Trenton had been the one who had lost every ounce of willpower before finally giving in to temptation and kissing Scottie.
That was how it had gone down. It was crystal clear, and Trenton had played those few seconds back in his mind over and over and over again all night as he searched for answers.
He still didn’t have any, though.
The only thing he knew for sure was that he didn’t have any idea what he should actually do about it.
Maybe once the initial shock and confusion wore off, his options would look better, or would at least become clear. Right now, it felt like he only had one bad choice after another, each one with an uncertain but most likely awful outcome.
Those weren’t the kinds of risks Trenton liked to take in life. Those were the ones that always left him hurt or in trouble.
As he looked back over the years, it felt like his life had been filled with choices—and decisions and mistakes—that had left him at one crossroads after another.
And time after time, he always seemed to choose the wrong path.
Why would this time be any different?
Wouldn’t it be better—and easier, and safer—to do nothing at all? At least for now?
Tomorrow, things might look different. Or the next day. Or the next.
But for now?
All he had were bad choices and wrong decisions waiting to be made.