Still feeling like he was in some sort of daze, Scottie stood up from the couch and looked out the window, watching as Trenton stumbled along the path that led from the front door to his car.
He kept hoping that Trenton would look up and see him, or maybe even turn around and come back so they could talk about what had just happened.
But Trenton hadn’t done either of those things.
Instead, Scottie watched in silence as Trenton climbed into his car, started the engine, and disappeared into the night.
Only when the red taillights of the car had completely faded from view did Scottie turn around and slump back down onto the couch.
His mind was still reeling from that kiss.
If he hadn’t been the one to experience it, Scottie never would have believed it. Even now, with his lips still tingling, he wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t just imagined the whole thing.
Scottie sighed. How had he let himself get into this sort of situation? He really wished that he could call Calvin right now. Or Gage. Or Jack, or Newton, or anyone to tell them what happened and to beg for some advice.
But he couldn’t.
None of them would understand, even if Scottie could somehow find the right words to explain how he felt about everything.
And that was part of the problem in itself. He didn’t know what to feel or what to think.
He didn’t know what to do.
Should he try calling Trenton? That seemed like a pretty logical thing to do… right?
Except Trenton clearly hadn’t been in a talkative mood when he had walked out the door just a few minutes ago. It was a pretty safe to assume he was probably just as confused and conflicted as Scottie was, if not more.
Scottie shook his head.
This was crazy. What he should do was just go to bed and try to forget all about that kiss. It had obviously been a mistake or… or something. Something Trenton hadn’t really meant to do.
But why had it felt so good? So right? So damn amazing?
It was probably the best kiss Scottie had ever experienced. Certainly the best one he could remember.
He huffed out a short breath as he stood up.
God.
Why?
He had to go to bed. He couldn’t let himself dwell on this all night, even though he was pretty sure that was exactly what was going to happen.
Walking into his bedroom, he stopped next to Sasha’s crate and briefly considered trying to wake her up and move her to the bed so he could cuddle with her, but even if she hadn’t been fifty pounds of dead weight, it just seemed selfish to even think about disturbing her while she was still on medication.
Scottie sighed and stripped out of his clothes, shutting the light off before falling into bed. Why did everything have to be so complicated?
Why couldn’t he just find a man who was available and ready for the same sort of commitment that Scottie wanted? Surely those guys were out there somewhere.
They had to be, didn’t they?
His friends had all seemed to find their perfect men.
Surely it would have to be Scottie’s turn sometime soon. Wasn’t there some kind of rule when it came to odds and big numbers?
He closed his eyes but was still nowhere close to being able to sleep. The images in his mind kept flashing between the way Trenton had looked at him right before that kiss and then right afterward.
For a moment, it looked and felt like Trenton was really into it, was really into Scottie. And then it was like a switch had flipped, leaving him looking scared and confused and wondering what the hell had just happened.
Not that Scottie could blame him, really, since he was feeling the exact same things.
I don’t even need a man who’s perfect… just the one who is perfect for me. Is that too much to ask?
But even as he thought it, he realized he didn’t want just any man. He didn’t want to find a new man, or even a new friend.
He wanted Trenton.