Chapter 18 : I have to go

"I've told you many times Riddhi, that I can't do this! I just can't. Why don't you try to understand? You're my good friend, that's all. I can't go any further.", Tani said the words to Riddhi in a slightly higher voice in front of Sayani and Rishita.

"I'm in love with you. And I've said it before and I still say it, I love you very much, Tani. And if I prove the bad one to you, or your friend, it's nothing I can do. My love is not so cheap that anyone can insult it and leave. What did Anu think of herself? She got a license to insult anyone? Or she have the only right on you? I was quiet today because I didn't want to create a scene here.", Riddhi said angrily.

"Anyone? Huh! you are calling her 'anyone'? Sayani, is she okay? (Looking at Sayani, Tani said her with gestures) You are forgetting that you are talking about Anushka. And she is not 'someone' or 'anyone'. She means a lot to me. You can't even imagine this in your entire life. So, please get out of here. And you want to explain the meaning of love to me? You have no idea what love is! So you better keep quiet.", Tani said in angry voice.

"Oh, well you're giving me advise about love!!…Huh you seem so wise about this?", joked Riddhi.

"I am not obliged to give you any explanation about this. I won't forgive you for that. Also, I won't tolerate any insulting words about Anu.", Tani said in a firm voice.

"And your friend insulted me, didn't you feel bad at all? I knew you considered me as your good friend.", Riddhi said.

"Yes and that's why I wanted to hide your mistake. But do you know, truth can never be hidden. It just comes out. Same happened to you.", Tani said.

"Tani.. you didn't do it well. You didn't do it right by hurting and insulting my love.. you will pay for it..", Riddhi said angrily.

"Just Shut up and leave. You are so toxic.. Don't want to hear anything from you. Get lost.", Tani said in return.

Riddhi angrily left the room with her bag. After Riddhi left, Sayani and Rishita looked at each other's faces and released a heavy sigh. Tani sat on the bed in stress and held her face with her hands.

Both Sayani and Rishita went and sat on either side of Tani. Sayani put her hand on Tani's shoulder and said, "Tani, you should tell Anu the truth."

Rishita asked Sayani, "Which truth? She doesn't feel anything like that for Riddhi. Yes Anu don't know that but she can be told her sometimes."

"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about something else.", Sayani told Rishita.

"Tell me. What else?", Rishita insisted Sayani to tell her.

Tani kept her head down and said, "That I love Anu."

"Yes, I know you love Anu. What's new?", asked Rishita with confusion.

"I love her as a lover, not as a friend. Yes, it's true, I'm not like everyone else. What should I do? I know it's not normal but it is, what it is. And I really don't know, how do I confess my feelings to her. I don't want loose our friendship. I don't want to loose her either. I.. I.. love.. her...", saying these Tani cried.

Rishita and Sayani hugged Tani. Rishita said, "Tani, Sayani is right that you should tell Anu everything. We are by your side. And you are not different. You are a normal person like everyone else. Love is a feeling, everyone has a right to do this. You should tell her what you feel."

Tani composed herself after some time. Tani said to Sayani and Rishita, "I can't tell her anything now. I will tell her everything after the exam." Rishita and Sayani appreciate Tani with smile and proud of their friend.

After reaching home Anu entered her room, closed the door and threw away her bag and phone. The phone fell on the floor and the screen was broken. Anu sat leaning on the door. Her eyes are red. There is silence on her face. Breathing is going on deeply and heavily. She remembers, Riddhi touching Tani repeatedly. She remembers the flashbacks of the fight with Tani. Tears are falling from her eyes. She closed her eyes and started crying hard. Then she started to say in a muffled voice, "Tani.. I love you so much.. Why did that girl touch you.. How dare she? Why.. why didn't you protest.. Tani.. I love you.. I love you so much.. I.. I.. can't see you with anyone else.. It breaks me from inside.. You are mine.. I can't.. share.. my love.."

She overcome the immense sorrow and after a while, she got up and freshened up. Then she sat on her study table and opened a page of her diary. Anu has written daily things in most of the pages of the diary. Tani's name is mentioned in most of the writings. Anu wrote today's events on the new page. Tears are constantly falling on the pages of the diary as she writes. As she felt sleepy while writing, she fell asleep with her head on the diary.

Tani's Room :

"Why is Anu's phone saying switched off! She never keeps her phone off. So why did she do this today? I'm worried. It's so late now mom won't even let me leave the house! What should I do now! I wanted to tell her everything today, it will be too late after the exam. If she can't do well in the exams! I don't want to let her be the victim of my stupidity. I'll go to her house right now. I have to go."

Maybe that's what love feels like. Love cannot be told to loved ones and also cannot be hidden. Standing at this moment, both Tani and Anu are afraid to reveal their love. But the heart wants the opposite.