Deep emotions

Deep emotions
Carrie
That was not the response I expected.
I got down from my chair and walked to him. Once I was seated on his lap, I noticed more details of his face, and I saw the confusion he mentioned.
“Alessandro… Why is it confusing? What is confusing?”
His hands circled my waist, and it shifted me closer to him. “CDP is all I've known.”
“You have your firm to get busy with.”
“It's not the same. CDP was a place of sweet danger where I easily racked up wealth and power while having fun.” It looked like he was about to recount the dangers, but he held back. “Every day I spent there was thrilling, every part of it. But, as of two years ago, I realised that within all that thrill, I had been making my soul suffer. It had become very tired.”
He snickered and shook his head.
“Watching Giovanni die changed something within me. It made me question things. That's why I took a break. I figured I'd get my head back in the game once I did. That was when I thought, why not officially become the King? With a busy schedule to pile upon my already busy life, I'd not have time for shitty thoughts like quitting or the meaning of the vain life we were all living.”
I slid my right hand to the back of his head to soothe him. Though his eyes were mostly emotionless, as if his ordeal was nothing of value, I still sensed his distress.
And it reminded me of the night I saw him cry.
Now I wonder if he had a dream about this very thing he's talking about.
A light breath from Alessandro pulled me back to his words as he continued, “I became certain about what I wanted. Even when you entered the picture and upturned a lot, I remained stubborn. I held on to my goals and rejoiced in how close I was to them. But… the moment I sniffed the priceless chance to leave CDP, I didn't even think twice. I took it.”
His brows furrowed deep, and he darted his gaze to the side. “I must have been wishing for that chance all along. So, I don't regret it. However, my mind is now chaotic with many thoughts.”
The emotions in his words plunged me into deep silence. But I couldn't remain mute forever.
While caressing the feel of his cheekbone, I picked up the last sentence and asked, “Is having many thoughts a bad thing?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I usually don’t have to think this much.” His shoulders tensed. “I’m concerned I might never find the fulfilment I found in CDP. And if I don't, I’ll crawl back to that place. Then I'd get stuck in that loop again, I'd forget how I secretly wish to escape, and I'll become someone you can't even look at.”
“I am not a very wise person, but one thing I can tell you after everything you've said is… take your time with this.” I smiled at how he placed his hand on mine, which still cupped his face. “Feeling confused? Don't fight it. Find a way to sort through it. I know you can do it, no matter how long it takes. And once you do, anything you want to do, the next step you want to take…. I'm certain you'll figure them out.”
“Wise words, from my beautiful Carrie,” he grunted, one arm pressed against the back of my head, the other gently perched against my back. “Your advice is enlightening.”
I melted into the beauty of our embrace. “I'm glad. You should speak to me often. Don't go sitting in a corner grumbling and lamenting.”
“I’ll learn.” With belly-warming strikes, he swept my hair backwards, making me feel like a pampered princess. “I want you to confess something.”
“Me?” I tilted to the left. “What’s that?”
“You are secretly happy, aren’t you?”
“That what?”
“That I am no longer a part of CDP.”
After a brief scrunch of my lips, I replied reluctantly, “Well… Maybe a… Little.”
Alessandro broke out in a peal of laughter. “I won't hurt you for speaking the truth.”
“I know. It just seemed insensitive to answer.”
“No matter what happens, I will never hurt you. You are my precious Carrie.”
My shy smile erupted. “I know.”
“Miss Edwards.” He instantly grunted in disapproval. “Mrs. Edwards-Valante.”
“That is very right.”
He smiled. The next thing, his seductive eyes watched me until our lips met, our harmonised passion changed the direction of that moment.
Our kiss became some sort of fight to show who thirsted more for the other. Our lips pulled at each other, our tongues clashed with desperation, and our bodies ached to blend more and more even after every gap was closed.
“Hmm…” Alessandro hummed, and his hands travelled past my top. His touch felt right against my skin, so intensely that I gave up the desire to overpower our kiss and surrendered to his touch.
“I was wondering when I’d get to be this close to you again,” he whispered against my lips.
“We are married now,” I managed to say, my breathing very unusual. “We can be close whenever we can, whenever we want.”
“Then,” he smiled against my lips, “we can get naked right here.”
“Nothing is stopping us.”
My reply was all he needed.
Soon, our clothes were discarded, and our feet and desires drove us to the living room where we made love as if we would never get to be together again.
~~~
When the next morning arrived, I woke up naked in our grand bed with no Alessandro in sight.
After I found one of his shirts to wear, I got rid of my morning breath and stepped out of the room minutes later.
“Alessandro?” I called while walking down the lonely corridor, which somehow felt more chilly than other parts of the house. “Did he step out?”
I caressed the leaves of the little pine tree decorating the end of the corridor and walked into the grand space from where I could see the living room.
From there, I could also perceive the aroma of delicious food.
“I thought he was just bluffing. He really can cook.” I took more steps. “Ale…”
The sight of my husband having a conversation with someone at the entrance halted my words. Without speaking, I walked closer.
And the next thing I heard was, “Mr. Edwards is dead. He passed away this morning.”