Chapter 38

Aron Curry narrating:

Sitting on that cold grass that the serene had soaked, I was totally shattered. I imagined that ripping the truth out of my chest and shouting it to the world would somehow relieve me, after all, that's what everyone says, the truth sets you free. But now it seems to have imprisoned me even more, imprisoned me I feel like I'm going to carry that prison in my chest for the rest of my life.

From the top of that hill I screamed, I let my pain echo from above. I had said goodbye to yet another love, but I feel I will never be able to say goodbye to Laura. Laura is gone, but she has also taken all my humanity with her, as if she had taken my life with her. I can feel my heart beating strongly, but they are beats of pain that sound like hammers, that make me bleed because I have no one to inhabit it.

Laura Brando narrating

Driving, it was as if all the weight that was on my back was also weighing down my feet, sinking them against the accelerator, while the tears blurred my vision and I screamed inside that car, letting it echo through the roof, hoping that it would take away the pain that was consuming me, it seemed impossible, it simply seemed impossible for that pain to stop, for Aron's words to stop hammering inside my head. I was in a state of complete despair that had me braking the car abruptly on that desert road, punching the steering wheel and wondering where I was going, what I was going to do now. I imagined that knowing the whole truth would somehow relieve me, but I think I might have preferred to keep my ears shut and carry on living a life of lies.

I got out of the car and left him standing in the road, and ran to the edge of the cliff, falling to my knees once again, screaming my pain as the tears flowed and my closed fists crashed into the grass on the ground.

''Why Aron? Because you..." I said to myself, questioning myself, waiting for an answer from fate.

Aron had touched me in some way, he had given some meaning to my quiet life, he had made me hope for something, hope that we were the clichéd family in movies and commercials, deep down that's what I wished for every time I looked at him. A part of me was dominated by hatred, I gave myself over to Jason in a way because I knew it would frustrate Aron, hurt him like he hurt me, but deep down I think I've put down roots for this insane and complex love that Aron has created.

There's nowhere for me to go, I don't have to become, as I imagined there's nothing waiting for me out here, there's nothing waiting for me away from Aron.

I can go back to Warsaw, look for a job as a waitress, everything I've experienced alongside Aron will just be a trailer for a movie that's left unfinished in my life. Maybe I'll have to deal with serving the table where Edgar will sit next to Débora while she rattles the trolley next to her, with a son I wasn't able to give to Edgar.

The wind blew more strongly, making me put my hands in my pockets so that I could bring my coat closer to my body, I felt a piece of paper in my pocket, I picked it up curiously without knowing what it was about, I saw that it was just a sheet of paper, with a name written on the back, Samantha.

Aron Curry narrating

With my eyes glazed on the city below I saw my car approaching, at first I thought it was just the effect of the whiskey I had drunk before coming, that it was just a creation of my memory revealing what I wanted, but it wasn't, it was Laura getting out of the car and coming towards me with her bitter eyes staring at me as if she needed to know something.

"What are you doing? Did you come to make sure I'd thrown myself off that cliff?" I said, watching her continue walking towards me.

Laura walked with short, slow steps, determined about where she wanted to go but at the same time fearful about whether it was the right way. Laura stopped in front of me, lowered her face and looked me in the eye. Laura sat on my body, startling me, while with her fingers she lifted my face, feeling her sitting on me, while she wrapped her arms around my neck. It couldn't just be something in my mind, it couldn't just be an illusion.

"Do you know what the truth is, Aron? Michael was a shit. I didn't love him, I feared him, I feared that he would kill my mother. I just needed to find someone to blame." Laura said as she opened my pants. It was like a hallucination from which I was anesthetized, just staring at her. "I blamed my mother, maybe because she chose him, I kept thinking about who my real father was... about why she let me grow up believing that a bully was my father. My mother was forced to sell herself to get the money, he beat her so badly, I remember it vividly, but I couldn't do anything, I just looked at her lying on the floor."' Laura whispered, as she calmly moved her hips to let me penetrate her. The moment I slid in, feeling how hot and wet she was, I realized it wasn't a hallucination.

Laura Brando narrating:

On Aron's body, I slid, feeling him penetrate me in a mixture of feelings and excitement, feeling him slide inside me, with slight movements of his hips, while I didn't allow him to touch me, I just felt him as he let the words out of my chest, pulling out, calmly rolling my hips, he threw his neck back, his excited eyes listening to me, feeling me, managing to make me even wetter.

I was crying over his coffin, yes, but at that moment it wasn't about him, I couldn't cry over his departure, the tears that flowed were about me, about me not having had a father, about me having to witness him beating up my mother. Deep down, the tears were of gratitude.

I did hate the fact that Aron had killed him, but there are loves that are born inside our chests in elucidated ways that we can't stop. Aron brought me here to show me how I should be loved, and even with his merciless ways, he managed to show me. Before I could run away from this feeling, because I didn't want to allow myself to be hurt or betrayed again, it was too late, he had already been born.

Aron has a rough way of loving, I don't blame him, love taught me to run away from it at all costs too, but Aron doesn't ask for anything in return, he doesn't splurge on the things he does. Samantha left me a letter telling me about who Jason really is, telling me about how she faked her death to kill the love inside her, how she saw Aron destroy himself for it, but that when he saw her alive in front of him, he said goodbye to her again, just to save me.

But I can't kill that love inside me because it took an aggressor out of my life, and I can't run away from that love because it didn't want to leave me alone, it just chose the wrong person to be by my side.