CHAPTER 19

NICOLE’S POV

After Blair’s departure, I stood at the hotel’s door while lost in my mind. I was still disbeliving the fact that I and Blair kissed. It felt badly good but we couldn’t go any further.

Currently coldness and tiredness was following through me as if it were my blood but sleeping in the hotel room was the last thing on my mind. Inwardly I felt like I needed more, I needed more wine. What I took few hours wasn’t enough. My body was craving more.

After sometime of inwardly talking to myself, I finally made up my mind and slopped down to where the party was before.

The music was now low and the light of the room was even lower. The partygoers who had masks on few hours ago, were now dressed much more elaborately than the ones you’d find at a typical bar, and honestly, I was living for it. I loved the sparkly make-up, the crazy hair colors, and the overall sense of not giving a fuck about what anybody thought. It truly felt like a safe place to dance till morning.

I walked, pretending that I wasn’t scoping the place while I observed everyone. The men around the poker table were engaging in a heated conversation, abruptly stopped when I approached them. They then began to eye fuck me. I rolled my eyes then continued to walk in the crowd of people.

“Bring that beautiful ass over here”, One of them stared up at me from his seat. Every part of me wanted to frizzle up with disgust, but I maintained my composure and acted like I wasn’t flattered by his words. Infact I had no time for him. I just needed one more glass of wine then call it a night.

However just as I walking, my body immediately stopped not believing what I saw. In a distance far away from me, there sat Mr Jason, my step father with a lady. They were flirting while slowly sipping on their wine.

Was I seeing right?!

I first leaned against the wall and continued to watch them. I really needed more evidence. Within seconds, I watched the bitch straddle Jason and started to kiss him. There are some words that Jason whispered in her ear, then they stood up together ready to leave.

Of course they were going to fuck.

I don’t know whether I was brave or stupid enough but I began to follow him.

I kept on following them slowly, making sure that I was not seen . When I reached the corner, I saw them walking up the stairs. I saw people looking at me when I nodded my head. Ignoring them, I walked fast with my head low. However by the time, I had reached up the stairs, I had lost them.

“Where did they go?” I said, looking around. There were other people here too, and they stopped talking when they saw me.

“Hey, who do you want?” a bulky man asked. He had a huge scar on his face that ran from his forehead to his cheek. My heart started to beat fast.

I didn’t want anyone to know about it.

“Are you looking for someone to fuck you?”, The same man with a scar on his face said with a smirk on his face.

When I heard his words, I balled my hands into fists. I took a deep breath to calm my throbbing nerves before I turned and left him.

I made my way straight to the bartender and this time I didn’t want any wine, I wanted some thing more strong. After getting my solution, I matched out of the room.

It was already dark outside but without minding about it, I leaned against the wall and lighted my cigarette. Quickly I puffed the cigarette, the almost-forgotten-but-desperately-missed feeling of smoke filling my lungs, taking over my senses. I even let out a sigh of relief the moment the nicotine hit.

God I missed it.

I took a long drag of my cigarette. How I wish the smoke could fog up my thoughts. At least it relaxed me but still I had Jason and that bitch memories in my mind.

Just thinking about it made me blow air out of my mouth in annoyance.

I badly wanted to tell it to my mum but I don’t think I would be able to explain to her what happened, or more importantly, why it happened.

Even besides that, I still had Blair’s thoughts flowing into my mind.

He kissed me. I kissed him back, hard. We kissed like we had been battling our desires and we lost the fight. We gave in.

It wasn’t that a big deal but I kept recalling it because I had taken a long time without being kissed. I used to give lap dances to men but I can’t even remember the last time I had slept so close to someone.

As the hours went by and the nicotine got in my system, flashbacks of everything flowed in my mind. Sadly nicotine wasn’t helping too.

After some time, I dropped the last piece of cigarette on the ground then prepared myself to call for the Uber car.

As I waited for the Uber, I checked the time on my phone: 02:21. It was so late , but I didn’t care.

The entire ride back to home, I was in my own world.

I kept holding back my emotions. My head was bursting with unanswered questions. I just don’t know how to alert my mother that Jason wasn’t the perfect man for him. I wanted to tell her so that we leave quickly.

But then still I knew it in my heart that she won’t believe me and I didn’t have any evidence.

My heart rate was still haywire, and my mind was whirling with too many thoughts for understanding. But beyond all of that, I knew I needed sleep.

I will tell her everything in the right time.