Chapter 36

The following day, I’m on my way to yoga class, but nothing Zen is currently on my mind. All I can think about is the dick pic Harper sent me last night. He knew I was eating dinner with his mother and sister. He knew I’d be shocked. And he knew I’d want him. However, what he didn’t know was that I was going to walk right past his door and go to bed, leaving him to his own devices for the rest of the evening. It’s not going to be that easy to get me to give him the time he wants. I’m sticking to my guns about giving him all the independence he wants while healing. If he wants more than that, he’s going to have to say it with his own mouth, not through dirty pictures.

Another problem brewing in the back of my mind is Quinn. I know she’s going to be there, and I don’t know how I’m going to react. The first time I was speechless, but now, I just don’t know what to say. Do I sit next to her and chat? Or do I sit across the room and actively let her know that I want nothing to do with her? Option two just seems mean, but so do all the things she did to me. None of those things are easily forgivable. Hell, just thinking about her is more than she deserves, but my hormones have me rethinking things. I don’t want to spend all my yoga days giving her space in my mind. I know I’ll feel better if I just talk to her. It’s not like we have to be best friends again or hang out after class. We’ll simply bond over pregnancy, and that’s all.

Sighing, I turn into the parking spot in front of the studio and take a few moments to pull my hair up and put on extra deodorant before heading in. Walking in, I’m one of the first girls there, so I set up in the back again, sitting down and waiting for everyone else. While I wait, I decide to take a few deep breaths to calm my mind. The instructor has soft music playing, but I try to block that out as well. My hands rest on my belly, and I try to imagine my baby taking deep breaths with me. I know it’s silly, but it helps to think that when I’m calm, the baby is too.

“Hey, Eden.” Her voice breaks my meditation, and when I open my eyes, Quinn is setting up her mat next to mine.

I look around the room and there is only one other girl here. Quinn could’ve set up anywhere else, but she’s next to me again. As much as it bothers me, I take a deep breath and give her a forced smile.

“Hey.”

Please, let this be the end.

“How’s everything going?”

Crap.

“It’s going well.”

“That’s great. Same here. Why weren’t you here last time?”

I try to think of a lie, quickly.

“Work got in the way.” I shrug.

“Do you still work with Jasper and Harper?”

“Yep.”

“How are they?”

Okay, now she’s getting nosy, and I’m tired of answering questions. I get that she wants to chat, but two questions were my limit.

“They're fine.” I nod, staring at the instructor, wishing she’d hurry up and start.

“That’s good. Did you tell them that you saw me?”

Frowning, I look at her.

“Why do you want to know?”

She shrugs, letting a little fake laugh fill our space.

“No reason. I just figured they wouldn’t let you come if they knew I was here. They’ve always been so controlling.” She beams a smile at me, waiting for me to laugh or agree. Instead, I raise an eyebrow.

“Neither Jasper nor Harper has any control over what I do or don’t do. Don’t act like you know them.”

“But I know you, and…”

“No,” I stop her. “You used to know me.”

Finally, she falls silent, just in time for the instructor to start class. Tenser than ever, I slide my mat over three feet and try to find my Zen. I don’t know why she's asking so many questions as if she’s entitled to answers. She hasn’t changed one bit. She can’t really think that everything is going to go back to normal just because I talked to her for a few moments.

I thought I could get over this with kindness and time, but it isn’t working. Not with Quinn acting like we can pick up where we left off without addressing the massive elephant in the room. She let me get drugged and almost let me get date-raped. She got Lea all drugged up and ended up trying to fight me. How does anyone bounce back from that? They don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not closing off the idea of being cool with Quinn, but it’s going to take some soul searching and a serious talk that will take more than the 10 minutes we share before class. And even then, things still may not change.

After class, I pack my things up quickly so I can leave; however, as I’m about to open the car door, Quinn rushes up to me.

“Eden, wait!”

I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“What Quinn?”

“I’m sorry. I know I fucked up back there. I spent the whole drive trying to figure out what to say, and then when it came time to talk, I blanked. I shouldn’t have interrogated you or taken a dig at the guys. It was rude. I’m sorry.”

“Look, Quinn, I know you want to start to mend whatever friendship you still think is still here, but you did some fucked-up shit and I can’t easily talk to you without wanting to punch you in the face. I’m sorry, but I had to get that out.”

Quinn looks away for a moment before turning back to me.

“I get that. I don’t deserve anything from you. I don’t. But I literally have no one. My parents tolerate me and patiently wait for me to fuck up again. All my party friends have moved on. They don’t even talk to me anymore. I’m knocked up from a one-night stand with someone who wants nothing to do with me. Everyday all I can think about is you and how you’d be here for me when everyone else bailed. I ruined that though. I ruined our whole friendship because I was jealous and fucked up all the time. You had the type of love and life that I wanted. I didn’t have that, so I sabotaged everything. I’m a horrible person. I know that.”

Tears well in Quinn’s eyes, and when I blink, I feel a tear run down my cheek.

“Quinn.” My voice cracks. “You have to realize how badly you hurt me. You betrayed me in a way that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. You left me to get raped. You left me and didn’t even care. What would you have done if they raped me? Apologize? Cry? Beg for forgiveness?”

“I would’ve done anything.”

“Anything wouldn’t have been enough to cover the damage you would’ve done. I understand that you’re trying to be better, but don’t expect me to go along with it.”

Quinn’s tears are streaming down her face as she steps back to let me get into my car. Wasting no time, I drive off, not even looking in the rear-view mirror.

By the time I get back home, I’m a little calmer, but the whole exchange has completely tarnished my day and I haven’t even been to work yet. I don’t even want to go, so I shoot Jasper a text telling him I’m too tired to come in. He doesn’t question me, but I know he’s going to ask about it later.

Heading upstairs to shower, I’m passing Harper’s room when I hear him call my name. When I open the door, he’s coming out of the bathroom.

“Hey, what’s up?” I say.

“Can you grab my medication from the dresser?”

“Sure.” I grab the bottle and toss it onto the bed. I go to leave, but Harper stops me.

“Hey, what’s going on? You’re in a mood. Did you see Quinn again?”

I nod.

“Yup, and it was like she was oblivious to the pain and damaged she caused. I had to throw it all in her face on the sidewalk before driving off. I left her standing there crying. She needed to hear the truth and not the watered-down bits that she's been imagining in her head.”

“How’d it make you feel airing it all out?”

“It felt like a weight off my shoulders, but at the same time, I feel bad for her. She’s suffering all the consequences of her actions while pregnant. I wouldn’t want that kind of stress.”

“She brought it on herself, and all anyone can do is let it work itself out. There’s nothing you can do about it. If you befriend her again, you run the risk of getting burned again.”

Shaking my head, I let my head fall back.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m going to go shower and take a nap.”

Harper gives me a sympathetic look, but I ignore it. I just want to be by myself right now.