Chapter 28

*Livie*

James and I decided it was time to confront my parents about my brother. Brother. *My brother*. The words were foreign to me no matter how many times I had repeated them in the past few days. I struggled to comprehend how to celebrate and mourn something all at once. Finally, I had a sibling, but he was dead. We pulled up to my parents’ house, feeling more like we were approaching a fortress than the place I called home for nearly two decades.

“Ready?” James gave my hand a squeeze, his expression confirming that he was as nervous as I was. I studied his face, heartbroken that he had carried this secret alone for so many years. He hadn’t even been allowed to grieve properly, my mother refusing to have a funeral. I imagined how it would feel to lose Beth and I couldn’t fathom that loss.

I took a deep breath. “No. Let’s do it, anyway.” Nudging the car door open, I slowly stood, reminding myself to breathe. We stood hand in hand on the tiled entrance outside the front door. My mother greeted us cooly, but stepped aside to allow us entry into the foyer.

“Hey mom.” I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, “is dad around?” I lingered, waiting for her to lead us into the den, but she directed us to Nick’s office.

Nick stood as we entered, mom pulling the door closed behind us. “Hi dad.” Gliding around the desk, he reached out to shake James’s hand, then headed to the bar cart he keeps in the corner.

“I’ll save you the trouble of a big announcement. I’m assuming he got you knocked up.” My mouth hung agape, although I have no idea why I continue to be shocked by him.

“Nick, I think you and Nancy should have a seat.” James’s voice was forceful. Mom burst into tears just then.

“Mom, I’m not pregnant!” The rage threatened to take control. “That’s not why we’re here.” Walking to the bar, I poured myself a scotch, tossed it back, then poured another for myself and one for James.

“Well, help yourself.” Nick snarled at me. It took every ounce of self-control to keep myself from throwing my glass at his head. This whole situation had turned sour and things weren’t even bad yet.

“Dad, just sit down with mom.” I handed James the scotch and sat down next to him. Dad settled back into the leather executive chair behind his large oak desk, and mom slipped into the charcoal leather armchair across from the couch. Taking a steadying breath, I prepared for the worst. “Tell me about Marcus.” The room was deathly silent. Mom’s eyes grew wide, like a panicked animal who had just come upon stalking prey. Nick looked somewhere between enraged and impressed.

After what felt like an eternity, Nick spoke. “I’m not familiar with a Marcus.” His words were controlled, as if he wasn’t sure he trusted his mouth to obey his brain.

“Mom, talk to me.” I knew pleading with Nick would never work, but surely a mother can’t just pretend her son never existed. “What happened to Marcus?”

“Oh Olivia, just listen to your father.” Mom stood, walking to the bar and pouring herself a generous helping of a clear liquid.

“Yes, Olivia. Listen to your father.” Nick’s face twisted into a sneer, challenging me to not push this further. I downed the rest of my drink, reached down for my purse and pulled out the shrapnel filled bomb that was going to destroy the rest of my world.

“Then explain this.” Mom’s shaking hand took the sheet of paper from me, examining it slowly. She read each word, seemingly trying to imprint each letter into her mind, in hopes it would make sense. “Marcus wrote that.” I held Nick’s gaze as I spoke the words, not wanting to miss the moment reality crashed down on him.

“Nick?” Mom’s voice was so small, as she looked to her husband for answers. “What is this?” Finally, Nick pushed back from his chair, stalking towards mom before snatching the paper from her hand. Again, I kept my eyes trained on his face as he read the journal entry, waiting for the realization to settle in that he was caught. If I had looked away, I know I would have missed it. The shock and fear that flashed for only a moment before the cold, emotionless expression returned.

“I’m guessing your husband gave this to you? Surely you don’t think anyone will believe this dribble?” He started to crumble the paper up, but mom managed to grab it from him first.

“Nick, what the hell is this?” The glass in her hand was shaking, almost violently.

“Nancy, this is some scheme these two have come up with. She’s a liar, and he’s a perv-” Before he could finish the sentence, a glass crashed into the wall behind his head. “What the fuck, Nance?”

James and I sat on the couch, voyeurs to this exchange where secrets had been bubbling at the surface for far too long, and now were bursting at the seams. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?” The scream that erupted from my mother was like nothing I’d heard from her before. She never challenged Nick, much less in front of people. Her reaction confirmed one thing for sure. Mom had nothing to do with what Nick did to Marcus. I hurried to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, leading her back to the armchair.

James jumped up from his seat. “Nick, you need to sit down and explain.” Nick’s face was crimson, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “SHUT THE FUCK UP, JAMES! YOU DON’T COME INTO MY HOUSE AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” The realization that Nick was going to punch my husband came too late for me to warn him, but James dodged out of the way before grabbing him in a bear hug saying “I will let you go when you calm down.” This only added to Nick’s fury.

Eventually, Nick calmed down enough that James released his hold on Nick, pushing away from him. “Nick, it’s over. The truth is going to come out.” His words were less of a threat and more of a promise. “You owe your wife and daughter an explanation. It’s better it comes from you.”

“I have nothing to confess! This is all a bunch of lies!”

“Nick.” James was so calm, it was almost unsettling. “Someone else knows. Someone else gave me that journal entry.” As Nick processed James’s admission, the blood drained from his face. Maybe, just maybe, he finally understands he’s caught.

“Who knows?” Nick demanded.

“I don’t know.” I stood in awe of how calm my husband continued to be as history came roaring into our lives. “I knew he had a journal, but I never saw it. I don’t know who left that page for us.” After the mystery package was left on the porch, James scoured the security feed, but we never saw anyone come to the door. Whoever it was knew enough to disable the cameras just long enough for them to drop the envelope and leave.

“Nance, I’m so sorry. You had just found out about Liv and I didn’t want to upset you any further.” Holding his head in his hands, Nick finally looked defeated. “I didn’t want you to leave me. You were so angry about Olivia. And Marcus just kept screaming. I knew Elliot would find out if I couldn’t calm him down. It was an accident.”

“That’s not the whole story.” My mom looked up at my husband, her expression unreadable. “Tell her everything.” For the next twenty minutes I sat motionless, listening to the story that my father and my husband had kept secret for twenty years. With each word, my world unraveled a little further. As he came to the end of the story, three facts remained.

My mother wasn’t my mother.

My father was the worst kind of monster.

I no longer recognized the man I had married a short time ago.