124 – Relief and Guilt Intertwined

124 – Relief and Guilt Intertwined
Maverick
I stared at the phone screen for a while before deciding to make the call.
I laughed at the irony of the current situation. Who would have thought I would willingly call Laurel again? But this time things are different. I won’t demand anything, I’ll just feed her crazy hopes.
Before I could dial her number, the screen lit up with an unknown number. Somehow, I immediately knew it was Laurel calling me. She’s been doing that often lately, and it doesn’t surprise me.
For the first time in my life, knowing she was calling made me smile.
Oh, this is going to be interesting.
— Hello? — I pretended not to know who was on the other end of the line.
— Ah, it’s so good to hear your voice, my love, I’ve missed you. — Laurel purred on the other end of the line.
She always talks like that. If she weren’t a viper, I might even believe the loving tone in her voice.
— I’ve been thinking about you too. — I said in a slightly warm tone, although acting this way makes me nauseous.
There was a moment of silence and then an audible sigh.
— So you’ve finally realized that I’m the only one who truly loves you? — she asked, her voice hopeful.
— I’ve been thinking about our relationship and how things unfolded. I think we need to talk. — I said deliberately in a neutral tone.
— Yes, I want to see you too. I can tell you finally have your mind in the right place. That filthy slut was never the woman for you. She’s nothing but a dirty beggar, a bastard my aunt abandoned. Her blood stains the Hill family lineage, and I know everyone will realize she doesn’t belong in this world and that she should die along with the little bastards she gave birth to. — Laurel rambled on wildly.
I clenched my fists to contain my fury and not ruin my plans. Even though I wanted to scream and call her every name possible, I held back my anger for the sake of a future moment that must be meticulously planned.
When Laurel finds out she’s the result of an affair — that she herself is a bastard — I want to be face to face with her. I want to see her eyes fill with despair the moment she realizes her world is collapsing before her eyes and she can do absolutely nothing about it.
It will be a bittersweet revenge.
It still won’t be the final revenge, but it will be the beginning of something bigger.
Laurel kept rambling about how Morgan destroyed our beautiful love story and all sorts of nonsense. She truly created a narrative worthy of fairy tales, where she is the wronged protagonist and Morgan is the jealous villain who stole her one true love.
It’s both comical and disturbing how she reversed the roles.
If I weren’t the person directly involved, I might even believe her words so full of conviction.
— Wait for me. I’ll come see you today. — I said, interrupting her moving story.
— Alright, I’ll let the staff know you’re coming so there won’t be any problems and you can enter my room without being seen. — she said, her tone eager.
She wouldn’t be so eager if she knew what I intend to do.
— Wait for me. This conversation will change everything between us. — I said in an enigmatic tone.
— Oh dear, I’m looking forward to seeing you. — she purred.
Her tone disgusts me, but I keep my opinion to myself. I can’t ruin the plan.
— See you later. — I said goodbye and hung up.
I dropped the phone on the table as if it were on fire and went looking for a drink.
It’s going to be difficult to do this completely sober. I need a little liquid courage to face the woman I hate so much without throwing myself at her throat like a crazed beast.
While taking a sip of bourbon, I heard footsteps approaching. I turned and saw my beloved wife near me. Her big eyes watched me silently, her presence so close yet distant at the same time. If I wanted, I could take one step and she would be in my arms. However, since the day she returned home, every time I look at her I’m bombarded with conflicting emotions.
I feel relief that she is alive and well, but at the same time guilt eats away at me every day. Her scars, traumas, and fears are my fault. She almost died along with our daughters. All of it happened because I was unable to protect them properly.
Morgan noticed my distance, and even though she seems hurt, she respects it. But I don’t want to keep my distance now. I want to hold her in my arms, smell the scent of her hair, and simply enjoy her presence beside me.
I took a step forward and hugged her. Her arms quickly wrapped around my waist and she sank into my embrace, sighing as she melted in my arms. I inhaled the floral scent of her hair and closed my eyes as if it were the most precious thing in the world.
For a moment the world seemed to stop, as if nothing else mattered but that moment. When I opened my eyes again, the world began to move once more, and I made a decision.
Morgan needs to know about my plans. I don’t want to hide anything from her.
— We need to talk. — I said.
She nodded and went to sit on the nearby couch.
I did the same and looked at her face while wondering if this was the right thing to do. Maybe staying quiet would be the best option so I wouldn’t worry her, but that choice makes me feel like I’m deceiving her, and the feeling is horrible.
Morgan picked up her phone and typed a sentence that made my chest tighten.
“Do you want a divorce?”
Her eyes were full of restrained tears.
I can’t hide this from her. I can’t hide anything from her. If I do, she’ll suffer even more, and I can’t stand causing any more pain to this woman.
— No! God, no. I love you, Morgan. I never want to separate from you. The months you spent in the hospital were hell, and all I could think about was what I would do in a world without you if you died. — I hurried to explain.
Morgan sighed in relief and tears fell in quick succession. I wiped them away with my thumb and kissed her entire face — forehead, cheek, chin, lips. I rested my forehead against hers and stayed still while our breaths mingled, both of us with our eyes closed, feeling that moment where actions spoke louder than any words.
When I pulled away, I told her everything that had happened and that she still didn’t know: Laurel’s calls, what Micah discovered, the documents Caleb delivered and what they meant, and finally the plan I had come up with and my imminent visit to Laurel.
— Be careful. — Morgan whispered weakly.
I hugged her tightly and murmured an affirmation with my face buried in her neck.
— I’ll take care of it, I promise.