Chapter 82
Alia’s POV
There are different kinds of love in this world, but how come there’s only one pain?
”Wow! What a miracle to see my evil daughter here,” my father’s first words when he got the telephone that connects from the other line.
I look at him plainly. Without any emotion, I stared at him with no sense of empathy.
”I am not like you,” I uttered. He laughed and his piano-like teeth showed up.
”It’s been what? A year since I came here? This is the first time you visited me. Why? Are you yearning for your lover and now you're gonna blame me? He should be thankful that I didn’t get to come near him.” he said. My lids trembled in milliseconds, having a hard time to hide that I’m affected.
”You should be the one who’s thankful. After all what you did to his family, putting you behind bars is not enough.” I told him. His eyes went dark and his expression hardened. Nothing had changed. My pitiful father is still living this kind of life even after all that has happened.
”You whore.” His deep breathing burst on the line, he’s losing control holding his anger in. “You are nothing but a whore, you cheap woman. This is all because of your mother. I did what I had to do and even just for a bit, I’m not guilty about it.” he laughed horrifyingly.
I felt this strange type of pity. He’s still my father. It’s not his fault if the world had been this harsh for him, but I am a strong believer of ‘every man who sinned should pay’. In the end, it’s his choice. And going here, I am so thankful that I made the right choice.
”You deserve it all.” I said.
I didn’t even flinch when he banged the thick glass between us. I look at him with no sense of interest like he doesn’t deserve any of my emotion. It’s been a year, and I feel like this is one of the things that has happened to me. I lost a lot of things, and one of those is my old self. The fun in me, the innocence in me. I feel like the world robbed it all.
”You ungrateful bitch! You’re nothing like your stupid mother!”
I watched him as the men caught his limbs to stop him from being violent. All I heard was the almost inaudible sounds that’s coming out of the phone. He’s blurting different harsh words. Like as if those words will ease the vague distress inside him.
His eyes that scream anger don't affect me anymore. All the memories of him laying hands on me, and all the brainwashing he did to me since I was a child, I spent years having the courage to take a step ahead.
”I forgive you.” I uttered. I know he's not gonna hear it, but I’m not doing it for him or for anyone. But I’m doing it for myself.
My eyes didn’t leave his eyes, because I want to make sure that he’ll not forget this face. The face of someone he did so badly but chose to forgive after all the things that I had to put up with.
”You too.” I said. Staring at her name at the headstone, ‘Amelia Hampton’, it’s like trying to know someone you’ve never met.
”I forgive you. For leaving me; for choosing him.”
Unlike what I’ve had when I saw my father, this one seems to have struck me a bit. Pain is indeed the same. It’s just that, we have different weights of love for people. That’s why it hurts differently.
”Even though I've pondered and asked if I am not that enough, that's why you chose to leave me with my father. I forgive you. At least, you found the love that made you live life to the fullest.” I sighed heavily after that. I smiled lightly before finally leaving her place.
This took me a lot of courage before reaching this point. I cannot say that I’m living it all in the past. Sometimes, it’s enough to say that you just got used to the thoughts and unending questions inside your head. You learned to accept the new days, without looking forward to tomorrow.