Chapter 145 The price of my sins
Chapter 145 The price of my sins
Carlino's POV
Lina’s footsteps started storming toward us. "Rotha! Erla!" she yelled. "What did I tell you about talking to strangers?" She snapped, dragging them away from me. "How many times have I warned you two?"
My blood ran cold just seeing her upfront again. She was furious, but at the same time, undeniably beautiful. She smelled fresh, like rainfall on dry land. My heart broke when she used the word “stranger”. I really was nothing but a stranger to my own kids, they had no idea I was their father. And Lina? I couldn't even blame her. I wanted to turn around and walk away, but my boots felt rooted to the concrete. My eyes stayed glued to her.
"But Mama—" Erla started.
"No! You do not leave my sight like that!"
"But Mama—"
"What if something happened to you?" Her voice bled with pure panic.
I finally mustered the courage to turn around, taking my first heavy step away.
"Mama, listen first," Rotha’s voice whined behind me.
I picked up the pace, but Lina’s voice stopped me dead in my tracks.
“Please, wait.” I didn't turn around. "Come here," she said. For a split second, I actually thought she was talking to me—until I heard the scuff of Rotha and Erla’s shoes moving away. I slowly turned around anyway.
"Uhm..." she said, walking toward me. "Thank y—" The words died on her lips. Her eyes widened in absolute shock. "Car... Carlino?"
I couldn't say a word. I didn't know what to do, or how to make her unsee what she had just seen. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. I could try my best to deny it, to just walk away, but God, I was so tired.
"Y... you’ve been the one in the shadows all this while. You even go to Rotha and Erla’s school." She rubbed her face, exhaling deeply as if trying to push away years of built-up stress. "Gracious good Lord... we need to talk." She turned back to the kids, keeping her voice steady. "Baby, you both should go play with Lucy over there and don't move away from there. I would be watching you from over here, okay?"
"But Mama—" Erla began.
"Erla," Lina cut her off, her tone pleading. "Please, just do this for me and keep an eye on your sister."
Rotha gasped dramatically. "Why do I always need supervision?"
"Because last week you tried to chase someone's dog home," Lina argued.
"It liked me!"
"It nearly bit you."
"That’s because Erla screamed and scared it!"
"I screamed because you touched a strange animal!" Erla shot back.
"It wagged its tail!" Rotha looked on the verge of tears.
Watching them, I wanted nothing more than to crouch down and comfort my little girl, especially since her sister and mother were teaming up against her. God, they were beautiful. A faint smile slipped onto my face.
Since Lina’s attention was fully focused on the girls, I saw my chance. I stepped back, moving as silently as I could.
"Carlino, you can't just leave like that. I told you I want to talk to you," she called out, her tone sharpening. I heard her heels clicking against the pavement as she ran up to me.
I exhaled, trying to steady my breathing. "I am not Carlino. I've told you so many times already. I don't like repeating myself. My name is Ace. Ace Rodriguez." The alias stumbled out of my mouth, clumsy and forced. "And yes, your kids must be mistaken. I didn't save anyone from anybody."
I turned to leave again, but then I felt her hand—soft and small—clutching my arm. The touch hit me like a bucket of freezing water.
"Stop telling me that!" she yelled, her voice cracking. "That's enough! What do you gain from this, huh? I know you. I know you're my Carlino. You're not Ace or whatever the fuck you call yourself. Why are you pretending?"
Looking at her, I felt my mask slipping away. I was growing weaker by the second, and the lies were tearing me apart from the inside out. I couldn't do it anymore. What was the worst that could happen? We’d part ways again, and she’d go back to raising the girls alone. That was already our reality.
"Why can't you just admit you've been the one all along? Why are you doing this, making me lose my mind?" Anyone could see the raw agony in her eyes. They were already swimming with tears. "I know we met at the bar yesterday. You took me out of there. I am so sure of it. Carlino, if you've given up your throne, just tell me. We can still—"
The pain inside me snapped. "Enough," I cut her short. "Just stop, Tesoro." The endearment rolled off my tongue naturally, a habit I couldn't break.
"Yes, I am Carlino. But there is no we anymore, do you understand that? There is no we anymore. You live your life, while I live mine. You have a life outside of me, and nothing is going to change that." I spoke quietly, but the storm of rage and pain raging inside me was anything but calm. I was just so drained. "And yes, I took you out of the bar last night."
"Does that mean the words you said... were they all lies? The—" she whispered, taking a step back in denial.
"Those words came out in the heat of the moment."
"You're lying," she breathed.
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You don't say things you don't mean. You never did."
God... why did everything have to be so hard? I hated this pain. I hated that I was inflicting it on the only woman I had ever loved after Madre. I had promised myself I would never make her cry again, yet here she was, crying because of me.
My chest thrummed with a tight, suffocating pressure, and my head pounded. For a second, the world went completely still, and then a cold wind swept past us. My vision blurred. I reached up, rubbing my eyes to clear the moisture away.
"You should go back to your children, Lina," I said, forcing a cruel edge into my voice.
Your children. As if they weren't mine, too. But I guess, that was the price I had to pay for my sins.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked, her voice dropping to a fragile whisper.
I looked her dead in the eye. "I told you before. Men like me don't get to live peaceful lives."
"You left the throne," she noted, her eyes searching mine.
My brows furrowed. "You heard about that."
"So it's true?" She took a step closer. "You actually walked away?"
Her proximity was doing dangerous things to my resolve. I let out a humorless laugh. "Does it matter?"
"Yes, it matters!" she snapped. "Do you even understand what that changes?"
"You think abandoning a throne suddenly makes me clean, Lina?" I asked quietly. "You think a sudden change of heart erases everything I've done?"
"That's not what I meant."
"But it's what you want to believe," I scoffed, keeping my voice level. "You want to believe the nightmare disappeared just because the crown did.”
I wished it worked that way, too. But it doesn't. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words failed her.
"I left years ago, Tesoro," I finally confessed. "I was done with that life long before the rumors reached you.”
But I had to stay away to protect you from the darkness that follows me. I couldn't put you in danger again. Or our children. I couldn't let myself be that selfish.
I took a deep breath, the exhaustion heavy in my bones. "I didn't come back to drag you into my life again. I came back because I wanted… to see you."
That's the truth.
"That's all?" she asked softly.
I looked over at my daughters playing near the park entrance. "I wanted to see how my girls were growing," I added, my voice drifting off.
"You go to their school. You saved them," she reminded me.
The silence that followed was heavy and suffocating. She wanted me to come back. After completely ruining her life, here I was, looking for some twisted version of redemption. I had meant every single word I said to her last night, but the truth didn't change our reality.
Her eyes burned with tears, and my heart bled watching them fall.
"If peace is finally possible for you, Lina... don't destroy it trying to bring me back into your life."
Bringing me back would only mean pulling a grenade pin on her life. I had already accepted my fate. I was never going to have her again, not in this lifetime. I turned around and walked away. And this time, as I finally left her behind, the tears started falling from my own eyes.