Chapter 12 Zemirah.

Chapter 12 Zemirah.
Three weeks had passed before I came outside, the last time I was outside was at Detlef's mansion, the night he sent those men after me.

At first, I told myself I was resting and in my healing process.

Days went by,  breakfast with Elara, shorts hours in the library, long baths that wrinkled my fingers, and before I knew it, three weeks had gone by just like that and I hadn't set foot past the front gate.

The women in the kitchen stopped asking when I'd come down, they simply made space for me, whatever time I came out.

Mari brought me books she thought I'd like, Sofia taught me joyfully how to knead dough, her hands over mine, guiding me, patiently when I could only focus. Chiara left fresh flowers outside my door every morning, it was the little things that really mattered.

Fernandez on the other hand, checked on me every day, he'd come to the library or the garden or the sitting room with the piano, and he'd sit nearby, he'd read with me or we'd play games together. Sometimes we talked and we didn't, through out the first week, I'd flinch everytime he moved, by the second week, I'd gotten used to it a bit.

I woke up in the mornings with fear of my safety, grateful for how everything worked out, I'd been pulled out of a fire, and I was genuinely safe.

But I wasn't completely relaxed, I had to be alert, couldn't trust easily again, I didn't want to get too used to these people and this place, only to have it taken away from me again.

One morning I put on shoes- the ones Elara gave me, soft leather, and I walked out the front door.

The morning was cold, not as cold as Detlef's mansion. I pulled my sweater up, to make it tighter around my body, then I followed the part that led to the gate.

Nobody tried to stop me, maybe it Fernandez just trusting in me, or someone was watching me. Either ways, I just kept moving.

The gate opened as I approached, I couldn't tell if it was automatic or someone had opened it for me, I didn't look back to find out.

The road down the city was filled with trees. Autumn here came earlier than expected. The leaves were brown and dried, carpeting the ground with different beautiful colors.

I walked slowly, letting the cold fill my lungs.

There was a couple across, I watched them for a long time, the way the leaned toward his wife when she spoke, the way she patted his knee, absent minded. The way they fit together, I wonder how many times they'd ignored each others flaws and chosen each over and over again.

I wondered if I'd ever find a love like that. My sixth chide me. "Be careful what you wish for, Zemirah."

My father had picked Detlef, even Fernandez had someone chosen for him too, but he had chosen me, he even had his men and his guns, driving through the night, because he decided I was worth saving.

Nobody had ever asked me what I wanted.

I dragged my knees up on the bench, wrapping my arms around them. I felt the sun warm on my face.

The cheese was on my lap, wrapped in a serviette, it smelled faintly of grass and salt.

What did I really want?

I wanted to go back to school, I wanted my certificate of degree, walk across a stage, watch my father clap and tell me how proud of me, he is. 

But I couldn't have that life anymore.

I missed my friends, the ones I'd left behind when Detlef's men came for me.

What would be their thoughts?

Did I get a transfer? Or did I just disappear and stop showing up in class?

I wanted my mother at this point. The thought just crossed my mind. My mother, who died as I was born, my mother, who I'd never known, with all these, I spent all my life missing her.

I wanted to be known on a different level, not as the Alpha's daughter, I just wanted to be Zemirah, a normal girl. A girl that laughed to loud and cried at sad movies and secretly thought she'd be terrible and suck at being a Luna because she hated giving instructions.

I sat on the bench till the sun went down, the market people started packing up, the old people in love, yes, those same ones, stood up and walked away together, still holding hands.

Then I got up, brushed the crumbs of cheese off my pants, then began my walk back up the hill.

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Nandez was on the path.

Sitting on a rock about halfway between the gate and the city, his phone in his hand, eyes on the road, he put the phone away and stood up as he saw me.

"I was beginning to worry about you," he said.

"Were you?"

"I almost sent someone to find you." He walked with me, matching my pace. "I just figured out, you'd come back."

I looked at him for a long moment not saying anything, he was casually dressed today. No jacket, sleeves rolled up, messy hair, it was obvious he ran his hands through his hair, I sighted flour on his sleeve, I figured he went to the kitchen, before he came looking for me.

"You didn't send anyone after me?

"No, I didn't."

Detlef would have sent the whole pack after me, my father would called, texted hundred messages in an hour, give up and send Julian to find me and bring me home safe. I'd never experienced this kind of freedom.

"Why" I asked.

He looked at me, "I assured you of your freedom and safety, I was just giving you a benefit of doubt.

I paused.

"And if I choose to leave?" I asked, because what if I didn't want to be here anymore?

His expression changed. " That's okay, as long as it's gladdens your heart, I'll help you go wherever you want to, do whatever you want to do, as long as you don't get into trouble."

"You've had this planned out?" I asked

"No, but it's the least I can do for you, to show my love.

I looked at him, this compassionate man, I wondered if he was this nice to and gentle with everyone.

He had a fiancée, waiting for him somewhere but was uninterested, the thought of her waiting for him somewhere around that mansion made me sober, a lot was expected of him, his pack the most demanding.

"I bought cheese," I said finally.

He blinked. "What?"

I helped up the cheese wrap. "From a with goats."

Fernandez stared at me amused, then he burst out laughing.

"Get a hold of yourself young man." I said laughing too.

"Well," he said. "We'll find out, I guess."

We walked the rest of the way silent.

He stopped at the gate.

"You can stay for as long as you want, everyone loves you here, you don have to make any  hasty decision. And please if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to let me know."

I held the cheese tighter, "I appreciate your kindness, may the goddess reward you."

He stepped aside, so I could go in first.

My feet hurt from climbing the mountains, and i just wanted to take a hot shower and lay on my bed.

"I'm gonna need more cheese, I said to him."

He laughed again. "I'll make arrangements for that."

We went into the house together, I got into my room sat down a bit, then I had my bath, I didn't even realize I slept off.

I woke up, walked to the kitchen, Elara and the other women were there, I joined them for dinner.

Tomorrow would be a great day, I could feel it.