Ecstasy and Agony
Ecstasy and Agony
Alice
I hear Rhys closing his office door only a few yards in front of me, and I rush up to it and knock on it furiously. I want to do this now before something happens with the baby that steals away my chance at life.
He answers quickly, having not yet stepped past his door. “Alice, it’s okay to take the time to think about it,” he says gently.
I shake my head briskly. “No. I’ve made up my mind. I want to give our baby—and myself—the opportunity to live.
A flicker of excitement alights in his eye, but he replies calmly. “I want you to be certain about this decision,” he insists. “This is forever.”
“I know.” I meet his gaze. “And I want to do this now.”
“You’re sure?”
“I am.” My chest heaves as we gaze at each other. My breathlessness is half the result of my sprint to catch up with him and half the manifested fear of what we’re about to do. “I want this, Rhys,” I add softly. “I couldn’t be more certain about it.”
He nods. “Let’s go to your room.”
Heat rises in my cheeks instantly at the suggestion, and I look away to conceal my blush. I’d rather be in the comfort of my room than anywhere else for this transition, but the idea of planned lovemaking seems so... erotic, even though I know it has another purpose this time.
He wraps his fingers around mine and leads me toward my room. His touch feels so comforting, yet I still feel my heart thrumming nervously.
We step inside, and he shuts the door gently with a click and turns the lock. He looks at me, his hand still wrapped firmly around mine, and he touches my cheek softly with his other palm. “I don’t want to hurt you, Alice,” he says. “But I must so that you can live. There is no world without you in it.”
“It’s okay,” I try to reassure him, though my nerves shudder throughout my entire body. “This is my choice.”
The moonlight brightens, having escaped from behind the clouds once again, giving his eyes a warm, silvery glow. “If you decide that you don’t want me to bite you, tell me anytime, and I’ll stop,” he whispers.
I nod lightly, though I know I won’t change my mind.
I hear the familiar rhythmic waves below crashing against the shoreline. I love this man, and I love our child, and I am choosing a life with them, no matter how painful this transition will be.
He strokes my cheek before moving his fingers to my chin, lifting my head gently as he brings his lips to mine. His kiss feels exactly as I remember it—gentle, loving, familiar. I move closer to him, parting my lips as he deepens the kiss. However, a twinge of fear still rattles my nerves, so I cannot completely let go.
He drops his hand from my chin and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close enough that I can feel him begin to stiffen under his slacks. The sensation awakens my core, and I feel the heat begin to gather there.
I try to forget all the terrifying thoughts that are raging through my mind—the transformation, the craving for blood, my lost friends, my possible lost career. But they linger, even as I sense moisture beginning to pool between my legs at Rhys’s touch.
He unfastens the buttons on the back of my dress, and a warm tingle rushes through me. I breathe through the intrusive thoughts, bringing my hands up the front of his chest and pushing his jacket aside. It works to calm my nerves, so I move more aggressively, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his dress shirt.
The warmth between my legs grows into a pleasant tingle as his hands, now inside my dress, move lower, caressing the top of my buttocks, teasingly close and yet far away from the growing need in my core.
I feel his love for me with every touch. Everything we’ve gone through, all the arguments and trials, dissolve into his tender caress.
His lips part from my mouth, and he moves downward, leaving gentle kisses across my chin and cheek. Thankfully, he skips my neck, which would have set the thoughts of his bite racing again, and moves toward the top of my breasts while he reaches his hands back in front of me again to lower my dress.
He kisses my breasts hungrily, his tongue grazing the top of my bra before he unfastens it, dropping it to let it land over my dress, which now pools on the floor beneath me. Without a word, he lifts me up and carries me toward the bed, his mouth returning to my lips. I feel my head sink gently into the pillow.
I’m melting into his touch, my troubled thoughts disappearing at the warm sensation of his body against mine. He peels away his clothes so easily, I barely notice it, my mind now focused completely on the feelings he is awakening in my body.
He trails kisses down the front of me, my body now exposed, nearly naked, but I feel so safe and warm in his touch. With gentle licks, my nipples harden against the tingling sensation that hits my core once again. I feel wetter, hotter between my legs, and all I want now to feel him as he moves inside me, the need heightened by the feel of his stiff cock rubbing against my thigh.
When he reaches my panties, he peels them off, all the way down my legs. My breath grows heavier, my heartbeat quickening. He pulls my thighs apart gently, and I feel the rush of cool air against my wet heat that has intensified there.
Then I feel his lips on my wet folds, and I nearly come undone. This new, wonderful sensation sends a jolt of electric tingles all through my body, and I hear myself calling out his name. The moan urges him on, and he uses his fingers to work what I can only describe as magic. It’s as if he is worshipping my body, taking his time to explore every inch of it.
By the time he lifts up and moves back to my lips, all I want is to feel him inside me. Every move he makes is tender, loving, as if his entire being exists to bring me the highest level of pleasure I’ve ever experienced.
He enters me, and my body’s reaction is nearly instantaneous. My eyes are open, but my vision explodes into sparkles of bright light. I hear myself calling out his name, but I barely recognize my raspy voice as I lose myself in the frenzy of orgasm.
I hardly register the sensation when he moves his mouth to my neck, but when he bites down, pain erupts throught my neck as his fangs puncture my skin. It’s painful and pleasurable all at once, and I’m so lost in my ecstasy that the sting simply blends into every other sensation overwhelming my body, even adding to the intensity of pleasure.
But then something shifts inside me, a powerful throb near my heart that jolts me out of my ecstacy. “Rhys?” I hear myself saying, but my voice now echoes against the throbbing in my skull.
My veins are burning. I can feel it throughout every inch of my body. My nerves sting as though pricked with poison. My muscles ache as they tense against the ever-increasing pain.
Heat envelops me, and this time, it has nothing to do with pleasure. It’s as though my entire body has been set on fire. I scream, but I can’t tell whether the sound has left my lips. For a moment, I feel Rhys’s tender touch against my face. He’s no longer inside me, and I don’t know when he pulled out.
But no touch from him can alleviate this agony now.
“Alice!” I hear his voice rippling through the room, and I want to reach out to touch him, to feel his comfort. But my arms feel glued to my side, paralyzed by the torment of my body rearranging itself within me.
“Hold on, Alice!” he says. “Let go! Ride through the pain! I promise it will end soon!”
But the thought of relief only exasperates the pain, which shoots through me like an internal lightning bolt.
I can’t do this. It’s too much pain for me to bear.
I’m going to die in this transformation, and so will our child.
A terrified scream leaves my throat at the thought of what our baby must be going through. How could he or she endure such pain? Unless the fact that the child is already a vampire protects them.
This was a mistake.
No. I can’t do this.
The thoughts leave me with the next wave of pain, even more agonizing than the first. It’s as though my blood has been replaced with molten lava, and screaming does nothing to lessen the suffering.
I don’t hear Rhys anymore. I don’t even feel the sensation of his presence. I feel alone, trapped in a body I no longer recognize, with pain my only companion.
The blur that is left of my vision turns black, and I feel myself let out one last scream before there’s nothing but empty darkness.