Take a Chance

Take a Chance
Alice

Sleep is impossible. I’m going to become a vampire tomorrow, and my life will never be the same. 

It’s going to hurt. I admit it took me by surprise when Rhys mentioned it, but I should have known that all along. He’s going to bite me with sharp fangs. I’m certain that will be painful. But also, my entire body will transform into a being that survives on human blood. That would make things entirely... different inside me, a process that will no doubt be excruciating. 

I suppose my greatest fear before I thought about the pain was the need to drink blood. Not only will I desire it, but I’ll crave it, forcing me to behave differently around humans. Will they think of me as a monster?

Other things will change in my life. I’ll be able to eat, but it is blood that will keep me healthy. Will regular food taste the same? Will I even want it anymore? 

Hours of tossing and turning have brought me no closer to rest, so I decide to get out of bed and get dressed. I choose a dark blue gown, one of my favorites with lighter blue lace detail around the neckline. Its sleeves are of a soft crepe fabric that flows gracefully whenever I move, especially when I play the piano. 

That is what I would like to do on my last morning as a human. 

I step out of my room, making for the stairs. The house is quiet. It often is, not because the others are asleep, because they require very little sleep as vampires, but because they each go about their days relatively silently. I suppose I’ll know what that’s like soon enough. 

My footsteps patter lightly on the floor as I make my way to the parlor, the one where my mother’s cherished Stumer sits in the corner as if waiting for me. At a time like this, I want to feel as deep a connection to her as I can muster. The piano is the link I seek. 

As I step into the room, I brush my fingers across the forest-green, velvety upholstery as I pass the sofa on the way to Mother’s piano. Even now, I feel my eyes tearing up remembering the way Rhys surprised me with it and the way he’d had it so beautifully refurbished, as well as choosing such a lovely room in order to display it. Mother would have loved to play her piano here, now polished to a shine and fully tuned, the deep greens surrounding it invoking serenity as she brought the music she loved to life. 

Lowering myself to the bench, I almost feel her beside me, watching with a smile as I place my fingers on the glistening keys. In the next moment, I become completely lost in the music. It takes mere moments before there are no vampires or humans in my thoughts, only the art of the melody, the cadence of the rhythm as it changes between stanzas. For the moment, I let my mind wander free of dangerous pregnancies, uncertain futures, and hopeless, impossible choices. 

I smile as I move into the familiar notes of “Fur Elise,” one of my mother’s favorites, and mine as well. The entire room comes alive with music. It echoes from the windows, drips from the rich green drapes, floats across the keyboard as I move my fingers blissfully with the melody of the composition. 

When the song finishes, I pause for a moment, trying to decide which piece to play next. 

“Anything you choose will be beautiful.”

My breath hitches at the sound of Rhys’s voice, and I turn to him. He leans against the doorjamb, his arms lightly folded around each other. “How long have you been there listening?” I ask. 

“I was drawn here by the very first note,” he replies, pushing off the doorway and closing the distance between us. 

I begin to stand, but he halts me with a wave of his palm. “Please, don’t stop. I will never tire of your music.”

I settle back onto the bench and place my fingers on the keys, but they tremble so fiercely that I don’t begin the next piece. He must have spoken with Dr. Lombardi already, so the tension is too great to press on. “I don’t think I can right now,” I admit. “What did the doctor say? Did he find a way to make it less painful?”

He sits on the edge of the bench, and I shuffle over to give him more room. His gaze meets my eyes, and he takes my hand in his. “He said it will be painful no matter what method we try, but there is one way to distract your body from it.”

“How?” I ask, searching his eyes. 

He pauses a moment before answering. “He instructed me to bite you when we were... intimate.”

Tilting my head to the side, I gaze into his eyes, trying to process his words. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that it’s best for me to bite you in the middle of our lovemaking,” he explains. 

“Oh,” I say blankly, then it finally strikes me. “Oh! No! What? You can’t possibly think that we’ll be—” The rest of my words seem to fade. Surely, he’s jesting. Dr. Lombardi would never suggest such a thing. Would he? Rhys and I hadn’t made love since I’d returned. He’d been treating me so poorly, I hadn’t even entertained the thought. How could he be so forward as to suggest I would do this with him now? “No,” I repeat.

“I know I haven’t been the most pleasant to be around,” he tells me. “But this is not an attempt to take you to my bed without a good reason. Gio told me that your body needs a distraction from the pain. He suggested this.”

“He didn’t,” I insist. I’ve certainly never had a doctor suggest such a thing. But then, I’ve never had one suggest that I transform into a vampire to save my life and that of my child, either. 

I scoot farther away from Rhys, certain that if he isn’t joking, he is trying to trick me into his bed. But the more I think of it, the more I realize that Rhys would never do the latter. Perhaps he’s trying to lighten the mood with the joke because he knows his bite will harm me. 

But when I turn back to him, I don’t see any levity in his eyes. “You are serious about this.”

“I am,” he replies quickly. “The pleasure will serve as a buffer to the pain.”

Heat rises in my cheeks at his mention of pleasure. My mind instantly returns to the way his touch made me feel like we were floating, the exhilaration of the stretch as he entered me, and the way the waves of pleasure rushed over me relentlessly, as though my entire world had become undone at our connection. 

I look away, trying to take a discreet breath to calm the blush before he notices it. 

But if he has, he doesn’t mention it, sparing me further embarrassment. “I’ll give you some time to consider it,” he says instead, rising from the bench as cool air rushes between us. I want to reach for him and pull him back down, to feel his lips against mine, but I push the instinct aside. “I’ll be in my office again,” he says gently as he steps away and leaves the room. 

Words feel lost in my throat. I close my eyes, allowing myself to remember our lovemaking. But I find it hard to pinpoint every sensation, to find a name for the level of pleasure I felt when my whole world shattered and there was nothing but Rhys and our love to experience. 

Nothing else mattered.

And that leads me to realize that this could work. My body was so distracted by that intense sensation that I can’t imagine a bite, no matter how painful, could have brought me back down to earth. 

But do I want to make love to Rhys again, right now, even if it’s just to easy the pain of the transformation? I’d wanted to be sure I was ready to be in a relationship with him again. I’d even considered leaving Duskmoore when his gruff attitude toward me hadn’t changed. 

That feels like months ago now. I barely even remember the horrible way Sam approached me before Rhys came into the room. I feel wholly disconnected from the anger I had for Rhys when he accused me of sleeping with Sam. It’s as though all that is a lifetime away now.

And when I become a vampire, that is exactly what it will be. 

I run my fingers across the ivory keys of Mother’s piano. She wanted me to live. She wanted me to have a chance to hold my baby in my arms and feel the way she did when she became a mother. 

She wanted that for me. I don’t know how her image came to me in that dream, but she felt so real, and her voice was as clear as if we really were on a peaceful beach. 

I need to give my life, my baby’s life, a chance. 

Rising without another thought, I rush out of the room to catch up with Rhys. I need to tell him that I will do this. 

I will take this chance at life for all of us.