Chapter 11
“ Now darling I must ask you something and please do not take it in a distasteful way “
I hold my breath waiting for her to ask her question, we were supposed to use this outing to get back to how we were not go back to being angry or hurt with one another.
“ So, Theo Sinclair ? Is this something new ? “
I wouldn’t even call it something
“ Well I wouldn't even say either of us are interested in each other “
My mom shakes her head and lets out a small giggle
“ Darling a man does not personally ask just any woman to accompany him to a ball, especially if he’s not interested “
Especially if he’s not interested?..
“ And a woman does not accept if she is not interested either.. “
I seen a way out of having to go to the ball with Charles and I took it.. even if it is with his brother..I just shrug my shoulders at what my mother said wanting to move on from the subject. Diverting my eyes and my mind back to all the fabrics.
“ Mama ! “
Emilia shouts from where she was behind fit for her dress, we rush over. Madam Money flustered she just stands back to allow us to have more access to Emilia.
“ She is not doing what I ask mama “
Confused i glance to Madam Monet then back at Emilia
“ Emilia, is that not how you get your dresses?.. “
I say gesturing to the from she was fitted for already. Emilia rolls her eyes at me and brings her attention back to our mother. Surprised I take a step back with Madam monet.
“ Mother i asked her to bring the waist in a little more and she stands there refusing to do so! “
My mother grabs my sisters arm and looks at her in disbelief
“ You wish to wear a tighter dress! You wish to bring yourself a scandalous name because that is exactly what you are asking for now don’t you dare raise your voice at me young lady, Madam Monet please continue you are doing a wonderful job… “
My sister and I stand their with our eyes wide. Emilia doesn’t even try to come up with a response she just moves back to where Madam Monet had her to finish her fitting. I couldn’t even say that I disagreed with my mother… the sudden attitude change with my sister came out of the blue. Now she wishes to have her dress be fitted tighter around her figure is completely out of character for her. She knows what image it would bring to not only her but the family as well. Mother shakes her head and signals for me to go back to looking at the fabrics for I’m next to have my fitting.
" Helena "
My eyes shoot in my mothers direction at the sound of her quiet yet stern voice, seeing her hold up the closest fabric within her reach signaling me to continue to look around and not make the situation worse. I just lower my head to her and allow my eyes to graze around the store. I've always stuck to your basic, softer, easy going on the eyes type of colors when it came to fabric shopping. Being a bigger girl I have never had any desire to cause anymore unwanted attention towards myself. That is until a black sheer fabric caught my eye, sitting right next to it was a silk that had the most beautiful champagne color and seeing the two next to eachother took my breath away. I could nt bring myself to continue and browse around at the other options, noticing how frozen I was my mother made her way over. Just as surprised as I am she also could'nt take her eyes off of the two fabrics infront of us.
" oh helena, these are absolutely beautiful...just not used to these kind of selections from you darling "
I let out a low sigh and agree with her in my head...niether are what I would normally go for at all so maybe-
" Helena, I did not mean that in an ill way, more so excited ! "
Surprised at my mothers response to me clearly overthinking the entire decision my sister had made her way to us not allowing me to react my mother ushers me over to madam monet filled with excitement Emilia following close behind making it clear to everyone she was not in a very good mood
" Now Emilia if you don't fix that gloom on your face immediatley I will make you even more so, we will deal with this later now be a lady "
Both of us straighten up almost instantly once those words left my mothers mouth barely above a whisper through her gritted teeth that she covered gratiously with a smile. Choosing not to pay any mind to Emilia I just follow Madam Monets direction so the fitting can go smoothly. My mother shows Madam Monet my fabric choices and even she shares a look of shock and excitement. Making her way over to me she gets sraight to work and I cannot help but to overthink it all.
Will my choices bring too much attention ?
With my frame will I look flattering at all ?
What will Charles think...
" Ms. Helena if i may, I see the look of worry in your eyes that I know all to well so let me just leave you with a few choice words "
I allow myself to focus on Madam Monet pinning as she spoke, not taking her eyes off of what she was doing and take a deep breath because she like no other person has seen and always understood me, the struggles i've always had within myself she has been the one person that could hear me without me having to say a single word.
" Do not allow the surrounding society to define your beauty, for a woman eventually becomes what she is searching for, you need to define your own beauty "
Tears well up and try to fight their way out of my eyes as I lower my head to take another deep breath, she continues to work and alows me to be one with my own thoughts. Fighting with myself to look up at the mirror that sat directly infront of me, I did always avoid those. Never enjoying looking at myself for too long her words rang in my head forcing me to look up and look myself in the eyes. I didn't move my eyes, studdied my own features and the way the fabrics hugged my body with every twist and pin as madam monet worked swiftly. Shaming any thoughts of negativity in my head I allowed myself to be proud and actually excited because she was right, and I will define my own beauty.