Chapter 26 Lila wants to keep them herself
Celine’s POV
“What’s unsafe about having them with me?” I asked.
At that moment, I forgot all about seeing her in that brief moody state that almost made her eyes wet. Her statement about the pictures wouldn’t let me think of anything else.
She still sat on the bed, her knuckles pressed against her cheeks.
“There’s so much you don’t understand about this pack,” she started.
“Understanding this pack, and my parents’ pictures — how are they related? Please explain.”
“There’s so much about it, and there’s no time to dig into too many details.”
Too many details?
I hadn’t dug into any detail. Just a word or a line could satisfy my curiosity, but no — she was bending all corners in an insane way, forgetting that I had a mind of my own. She forgot I also had my experiences, and therefore my own views.
“There’s so much you’re hiding. We both know that — even as far as my parents’ pictures.”
She held my face in her palms and gently made me face her. “Celine… do you trust me?”
“Trust? I know nothing about you.”
I heard her breathe a long sigh.
I didn’t know her heart. It wasn’t written on her head that she had good thoughts toward me. It was what she’d said all through, but I couldn’t believe it if there was nothing to hold on to.
“I understand,” she said. “But trust sometimes might not be reasonable — yet it’s all we have to do. Especially at this time.”
I pulled her palms off my face and let my gaze drop from her to the bed. “I know nothing about you.”
Her palms rubbed against each other, probably waiting to see if I could change my words. But I wasn’t close to doing that.
“I don’t know your work in this pack. Surely it’s not all about playing the role of a nanny to me, is it?”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why do you seem to care if you’re simply someone who knew my parents? How does that put you in this position?”
I guessed I’d pushed her too far. A frown formed on her face — more intense than the day I came out of Tristan’s room. She was pissed.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“You shouldn’t have said that.”
“Yeah.”
Her eyes weren’t looking at me, and this brought another round of silence. I hated this kind of silence. It always gave me chills — like I’d thrown stones on myself. Heavy ones at that.
“Sorry,” I said again.
But she still kept silent. It would have been better if her voice was raised at me.
Then she looked at me. “I’ve been working in this palace, and I’m a nanny — which is why Tristan arranged for me to be in charge of you.”
“A nanny? There are young werewolves without parents who need care?”
“There are many, and I have assistant nannies.”
I nodded, focusing my gaze on my thighs as though I was starting to hide from her. It felt as though I shouldn’t have asked that question. But I did anyway. I would never learn not to.
But she still hadn’t answered the real question I had in mind. I thought not to ask it.
Her fingers brushed into my hair, and that made me confirm she was at peace with me again.
“You look so much like your mother.” She smiled faintly. “You both have the same hair — silky.”
“I didn’t remember that, but the pictures would have been of great help if I kept looking at them.”
“I know that, but circumstances have made me not want to give them to you. No other eyes should see them.” She pressed me against her shoulder in an embrace.
Her scent reached my nose — she smelled of mangoes.
“I love you, Celine.”
I withdrew from her hold to meet her eyes. “Love?”
“Yes, I said I love you.”
“You aren’t serious, are you?”
These days, love wasn’t something to talk about. It was something I’d decided was too fragile — something I could no longer depend on. Colt loved me, but it led me into this.
How could Lila say she loved me?
It was obvious she must have been friends with my parents. But love was too scarce to give out.
“I’m serious. Why would I have to lie?”
“What’s the reason for this ‘love’?”
“I just do.”
“I don’t believe you.”
She sighed. She should come up with a better deceit — not this one.
“I’m going to tell you a secret.” Her tone was serious. “No one should hear of it.”
Another secret.
Even if she did tell me a secret, it would always be a filter — only what she wanted me to hear, and not the full story.
“Tell me.”
“I’m your aunt.”
“Aunt?”
“Yes.” Her smile didn’t form faintly this time but showed fully on her face.
I stood, watching her, paying closer attention to her skin, her eyes, and her hair. Earlier, I hadn’t noticed, but now that I did, she looked like my mum. She had a fruity scent — of mangoes — and so did I, but mine was of pineapples.
“You… you’re a relative to me?”
“Yes.” She nodded rapidly, spreading her arms for a hug. “We’re family.”
I stepped back as she stood to meet me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I felt it wasn’t the right time.”
Her smile faltered as I took another step back. “Celine…”
“Please leave.”
I felt warmth run through my veins, and my fingers started digging into my flesh. My eyes burned — maybe because I hadn’t slept all night. Or was it because of this news?
“You… you want me to leave?” Her voice was low and heavy, almost inaudible.
“Yes, leave!”
Her gaze met my palms. “You’re bleeding… you’re cutting yourself…”
“Just leave!” I screamed.
I didn’t realize I’d started another episode of harming myself. But that didn’t matter. I could do worse if she didn’t leave.
The door opened, and one of the gammas who’d been standing outside came in.
“Lila,” he called, stopping at the door as a spectator.
She came another step closer to touch me, but the blood dripping down from my palms to the floor stopped her. Her eyes grew wet, and tears ran down her cheeks without restraint.
“Celine… I’m sorry I didn’t tell—”
“Please leave!”
She walked backward, her eyes finding it too difficult to leave me.
She walked out with the gamma, closing the door behind her.
Alone, I could feel the pain of my fingers digging into my flesh. But I still didn’t pay attention. I collapsed on the bed, shutting my eyes and mind even as the blood soaked into the blanket.
I didn’t care.