Chapter 25 She thinks about him
Celine’s POV
The thoughts of Tristan hadn't spared me a break to sleep. The thought that he asked me to leave, and that… Zara went into his room to stay on his bed.
Damn… I also heard her moaning. And up till this moment, her voice still rang in my head, taking sleep from my eyes. It became like torture.
I hated it.
But why should I care? Was I jealous?
But of what exactly? I shouldn't be.
I should be focused and concentrate on my thoughts about leaving this place for my own safety. Werewolves all around me couldn't be a good fit. I shouldn't also forget I was taken in as a prisoner, against my own will.
Oh Tristan… get the hell out of my mind! And continuing having all your pleasures from your dirty whore.
I could never be jealous.
The door opened. It was another gamma inspecting if I was still inside. Against my privacy, but privacy when I was supposed to be a prisoner or under room arrest as I would call it?
When I left Tristan's room, these crazy gammas were outside searching and screaming my name. I told them I'd been with Tristan, they must have doubted. But what was more important to them was that I stayed here. I entered inside under their scrutinizing gaze, and I found the bed turned upside down. They did try to search for me under the bed.
They refused to leave, matching outside as though they were guarding the gates of hell.
I suspected Tristan also planned this.
“Madam, do you need anything?” The gamma who came inside asked.
Was he supposed to address me as madam?
Nothing added up.
Lest I forgot, a prisoner was supposed to be in a prison, or a dungeon, and not in a spacious room with a large bed and a woman meant to take care of her needs, or a gamma asking her if she needed anything.
“Nothing,” I said. “You all should leave…”
“Sorry, but we can't do that.”
“Well I need something.”
He stopped when he was about to close the door behind him. “Then what's it?”
“I need to rest… my head hurts.”
“Then do so.”
“I can only do so if you and the others leave.”
He took a long look at me, and I was certain he wouldn't listen to me. I had no such privileges no matter how I tried to turn the tables with words. Then he closed the door.
Again, I fell to the bed.
It was hard for the little bit of silence to contain my thoughts as it was close to drifting to Tristan's. I let it go, but this time, it was worse than ever. The scene of Tristan touching my naked body started to replay in my mind. Oh no… before I could stop, warmth spread all through my body.
I sat up, but I felt my pants sticky. I didn't want to believe that this thought was making me wet.
I imagined my body shining in front of him as he poured the oil on me, and how he’d claimed me, and still professing that it was all about connection, and not just about pleasure. I’d never heard that from any man. Actually, I’d only been with one man, and that man, a werewolf, was Colt.
And what about Tristan's belief that I was his mate… I had no idea of how to deal with that.
“Celine.” Lila's voice pulled me off this intense moment of temptation.
She stood at the doorpost, her gaze soft on me.
“Hi.” I greeted.
She nodded.
She stayed in that position for a while, her left shoulder leaning against the wall till it started to turn creepy.
She had another sermon to preach. I knew that. She would talk about my going to Tristan's room, and who knew, she might also refer to my having sex with him.
“You don't want to say anything?”
She took a step closer. Still no word.
Or maybe I should change our supposed subject of conversation?
“The pictures… I would love to have them.” I touched my necklace. “It would add to this, and… I might find some comfort.”
She pinched her eyebrows at me, and her face held a pale look.
“Am I not comforting to you?”
Oh… I didn't expect that.
She sat beside the bed, and placed her hands around my shoulders. She smiled. I also didn't expect that.
“Tell me,” she went. “I could do more to make you feel all the warmness even in this prison of a pack.”
“Why are you…?”
“I just want you to stay all happy. All day.”
“You think that's possible?” I furrowed my brows at her.
“Hmm… Yes, why not?”
“With everything happening to me, everything is affecting me at this point… You feel I'll just be okay?”
For that question, she stayed mute. She needed to come up with a careful answer that wouldn't sound fake to me. I mean, I didn't know what to believe. I wouldn't rather believe a fake hope than to stay in doubt.
But then, the problem would always claw at me like nails digging into a fresh wood, and the circumstances and my memories would be the hammer to hit it deep into me.
“I believe so.” She finally came to an answer, nodding her head along.
“Wouldn't you talk about my going to Tristan's room?”
She sighed, and her hands disconnected from my shoulders. “I didn't come to talk about that, but… Don’t believe anything he would ever tell you…”
“Would you give me details about this? Maybe it's time you told me.”
Her eyes turned away from me like it always did each time I asked her this topic. Her fingers massaged her forehead, and her breathing slowed down. She wouldn't speak, would she?
But this time was different. She placed her hands on her thighs, her gaze focused on the door, and she was starting to sweat. This gesture… It was the same act I noticed about Colt before his betrayal.
“Lila?”
“I…” She started, but stopped.
I shouldn't have asked her at this time. I didn't realize that could also have an effect on her that her eyes were starting to become wet. What she needed to tell me was about my parents, unless…
“Celine.” She braced up, forcing a distinct smile on her face. “Let's leave that. For now…”
“Okay.”
“And concerning the pictures… It's not safe for you to have them.”
That was strange. They were just pictures that only involved me.
“Why?”