Chapter 9

“Why bother?”

She was sarcastic. The train pulled into the station right then. Standing, she stepped to the doors, ready to disembark as soon as it stopped. She could feel him behind her. Could feel his frustration and anger. But she wasn’t of a mind to be polite. Her heart was too bruised.

Anger and sarcasm were her shield.

“You matter to me.” He gritted out from behind her.

“Do I look like I care?” She was equally terse.

“Yes, you do.” Remorseful, he touched her shoulder. She shrugged his hand off.

“Look, babe, I know I hurt you. I’m sorry. But I’m doing this for your safety.”

“Save it.”

She hurried away from him. He followed.

She ignored him as best she could He followed her around helping where he could. She kept ignoring him, her mind distracted. She kept thinking up ways she could get back at him. But the scenarios all ended the same way. He always came out of them victorious.

Depressed, tired she clocked out, aware of his invisible presence.

Brett gripped her arm as they neared the station.

All of a sudden, they were back at her flat.

“Whaaat?” She croaked, stunned.

‘Oh no, he hadn’t. Had he?’

Had he just transported her without her consent?

He had!

This was violating her right to choose.

She was suddenly, unreasonably mad.

In the present mood she was in, Nina didn’t wasn’t about to let him off the hook.

She lost it.

She drew her hand back and socked him one.

Right on that beautiful, maddening face.

“FUCK.” She screamed out in pain.

‘Oh Fuck! That hurts.’

Her hand throbbed.

The pain was unbearable. It was like punching a brick wall.

Despite the pain, it was so worth it.

Seeing the shocked look on his face was worth it.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He blurted, stunned. It bloomed on his cheek, under his left eye.

His stunned look turned to concern when he registered the look of pain on her face. She was cradling the hand she had punched him with. Grabbing her, he rushed her to the tap in the kitchen. Taking her hand gingerly, he pushed it under the tap. He was oblivious to the soft look on her face.

“Keep it under the running tap, while I get some ice from the freezer.”

He walked to the fridge.

Opening it, he took out an ice container. Returning to her, snagging a tea-towel on his way, that hung from her stove handle. Upending the container, he dropped all of the ice into it, then wrapped it around her hand. His gentleness and concern eased the hurt a bit, but not enough to let go of all the bitterness.

“Never do that again.” He warned her. “Next time you might break your hand. My skin is not like human skin.”

“I bet.” She muttered, incensed all over again.

“What did you say?” He leaned down to hear her better.

“Nothing. I’m gonna go shower.” She made to get up, but he prevented that by pushing down on her shoulder. He crowded up against her as well.

She breathed in shakily.

She breathed him in. His smell. His allure.

‘Oh hell, no.’

Tucking her nose into her shoulder away from him, she breathed jerkily. She was shaken. His fragrance always disturbed her. His scent alone made her feel things she didn’t want to feel.

Not now.

They were not reciprocated. Nor wanted.

She brooded. Plastering a ferocious scowl on her face, she turned away from him. The palpable tension between them gave her a pounding headache. Her emotions were all over the place.

He was still standing close to her. She could feel every outline of his thigh.

“You can take a shower when you’ve had a few more minutes of cold compression on that hand.”

He explained.

He was unaware of the silent screams in her head.

‘Oh, please just move. PLEASE…’ She pleaded silently, desperate to escape the feelings swamping her. These desires were not conducive to her sanity. She couldn’t think, only feel, when he was this close.

She wished he would just move.

His breath whooshed out.

Then he moved. He must have heard her thoughts.

‘Thank God…’

She had reached the point where there were only two options.

The first was to push him violently away.

The second, to ravish him.

As he turned to dump the ice into the sink from the tea towel, she exhaled shakily, then got up on trembling legs to head to the bathroom. She guessed the shakiness was from the aftermath of the tension between them when he had been hovering over her.

‘Whew. that was close.’

She needed to keep away from him. She needed to stay far away from that tempting body. Her resistance shattered when he was near. Crumbled, when his body touched hers in any way. She had no willpower at all where he was concerned.

None in any way at all.

Today had brought that crystal clear fact home to her in absolute surety.

The shower didn’t allay the restless, prickly awareness. The unsatisfied cravings of her body cried out for his touch. She viewed her body as a traitor, and an enemy to her now.

She wasn’t going to allow it to win!

Her fierce resolution to stay in her bedroom, failed. Her stomach growled its hunger. Fortunately, Brett was nowhere in the flat when she emerged. When she didn’t find him watching TV in the lounge where he was usually was, she was doubly sure he had left.

Even when she shut him out of her mind, there was always that prickling awareness on her skin denoting his presence. But now there wasn’t.

Relieved, her tread was lighter.

Glad she didn’t have to face him this soon, she went about getting her dinner. Too tired to cook, she took out a precooked packet from the freezer, intending to zap it in the microwave.

“That’s not very nutritious.”

She jumped as he appeared beside her at the kitchen counter.

“Fuck!” She hadn’t intended to curse, but it slipped out with his sudden appearance.

“Uh uh. Didn’t your mother teach you better manners than that?”

His tone was light and teasing. He was back to his lighthearted self.

She was glad, but sad.

She wanted more. Needed more.

But he wasn’t willing to give her more than that. So, she just had to accept things the way they were.

Pretending an anger to cover her pain came easier to her now. Without answering his teasing, she stood up to wash the utensils she had used. She could feel his frustration behind her as she placed them on the drying rack.

‘No, I am not going to make it easier for you.’ She gloated with triumph.

She almost ran to her bedroom to get away from him. She saw his face as she slammed the door. It was molten with anger, frustration, and something unnamed. It looked a lot like pain.

But she could be wrong.

Wishful thinking on her part to think he could feel pain. Pain meant he had feelings for her. Which wasn’t the case, she kept insisting to herself. The present situation attested to that.

It always came back around to that.

She had more important things to worry about than him, anyway.

‘Like a demon wanting to kill me and take my soul.’ She snorted out loud.

She had to prioritize.

Not having been good at it in the past, she had to start now, shouldn’t she? He was out there just waiting for an opening to get at her. Her cousin and her aunt were counting on her to save them as well. She didn’t want to feel a failure anymore. She had to do something to get them out of their torment.

Her anger had more focus now. The more she thought about what that demon had done. In casting him out, her aunt and cousin had paid the price. He had killed them and kept their spirits imprisoned. She owed it to them to release their spirits.

Love had to take a backseat.

Besides he was not for her. He was an angel.

What was she thinking, falling in love with an angel?

Love was a conscious decision, wasn’t it?

You decide to love someone. You allow yourself to fall in love.

If that were true, she could fall out of love.

Familiarity breeds contempt, they say. Maybe rejection does as well.

Happy she had worked that one out, she got ready for bed.

Sleep hadn’t come easy the night before, but Nina was satisfied she did get a few winks. Even if it was only a couple of hours.

She got herself ready for work in a better frame of mind than the previous day. Her heart ached, but she was resolved to help her family get out of hell. And rid herself as well of the demon that wanted her. She had to solicit Brett and Shana’s help, and any other heavenly help she could get.

She was willing to go down to the depths of hell to get her family out.

Even if it meant she perished.

“There has been some controversy on your being able to get your paycheck this week.”

Mariam, her manager intercepted Nina on her way to collect her trolley later at work. Brett was cloaked in invisibility behind her.

“There has been a mix up. You’ll have to check with your case worker.”

Nina stared at her in shocked silence.

“You won’t be able to get paid if this is not sorted out, you know that.” She explained when Nina just stood there, immobile, lost for words.

There was a feather light touch to her elbow, then a soft whisper in her ear.

“Breathe…” Brett demanded.

She took a deep breath, her paralysis broken. She could breathe and think again. Grateful he had been there at this crucial moment. He reminded her she still had the support of heavenly beings.

“I’ll sort that out after my shift.”

Nina nodded her head, as she continued on the way to the supplies room.

“Okay. Don’t forget. Finance is waiting.”

Mariam called after her.

Nina threw a hand up to her forehead in a cheeky salute. She heard Brett chuckle behind her.

“Nicely done.” He teased in a stage whisper.

They were too far away from Mariam’s hearing, so she wasn’t worried about answering back.

“Yep. But don’t think we’re friends, because we are not. I need help, and I’m taking that help from you. That’s all I need from you.”

There was a resounding silence. It vibrated in the air between them. The unspoken words loud in the stillness.

She was disappointed when he didn’t utter a word.

‘Yep, but that felt good.’

She did feel good. He was the loser. She wasn’t worthless. She was somebody. His rejection wasn’t going to define who she was.

“Now I have business to attend to.”

And she walked away like a boss.

Or thought she did.

It was like one of those comedies. She walked away with her head held high and shoulders back. Then she deflated when she heard his stifled chuckle behind her.

Now she just wanted to kill him.

But she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing she was affected.

Her steps had faltered for a split second, but she had recovered, then continued on.

She would win this round.

By hook or by crook.

Her work passed without further incident. Aware he was following her from room to room, she largely ignored his presence, cleaning like a maniac. She wasn’t going to let his disrespect affect her standard of cleanliness.

“Yes. Your work visa has expired.”

The Polish accent of her case worker came down the line when Nina was finally able to dial her number at the Immigration Department. Nina often thought it ironic, that her status in Australia relied on someone who had an accent, that implied the lady had just been granted newly acquired citizenship. Should it not have been an Australian accented person dealing with immigration issues?

But then who was she to judge?

“How come?” That one goes hand in hand with my student visa.”

It was puzzling because the one canceled out the other.

“You can still study, but that visa is for studies only.”

Anna Babinski’s accent was more pronounced as she tried to accentuate her words. Sometimes she left Nina floundering, trying to understand her. Her Fijian brain couldn’t translate.

“So, I can study, but can’t work?”

Horrified and flabbergasted, she sat there, literally scratching her head.

Stoic, she tried to keep the tears at bay.

“How will I support myself?”

Hopeful, she waited for a reply that would warm her up, take away the cold dread in the pit of her stomach.

“Maybe you can find out if any organizations that help refugees can help you. Like the Red Cross.” Anna suggested thoughtfully. She paused for a beat, then sounding a little warmer, she added in a regretful voice.

“I’m sorry to be the one to give you the bad news.”

“Thank you. I guess it couldn’t be helped.”

Helpless, Nina wondered how she was going to get the wages she was owed for the last week.

‘Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a chat with Mariam.’ She thought.

Her hopes rose. Brett remained silent, like he understood her need for silence.

Nina kept to her bedroom when she got home, having a lot to mull over. She had no idea what her next plan of action would be. Brett had gone out when they parted ways in the lounge. He had tried to talk to her about the situation, but she had walked away.

She didn’t need anything from him right now.

Needing to be strong, she didn’t want to hear sympathetic drivel, she told herself. Deep down she knew he was the only one who could break down her barriers. Only he could open the floodgates to the tears she was shoring up.

She wasn’t hungry right now. They had dinner at one of the pubs on their way home before catching their train. There was no excuse to come out of her room. Besides she had a big problem that she needed to find a solution to.

It was an earthly matter.

She didn’t need an angels help at this stage. But she still hadn’t come up with any solutions by the time she went to bed.

Her last thought before she fell asleep was, maybe after speaking with Mariam, she would then know what to do.

The next day she went to see Mariam in her office.

She was busy on the phone when Nina knocked on her open door. Motioning her to come in, she ended her call.

“What can I do for you, darls?”

“I just came to ask if I can still get my wages even though my work permit has been revoked.” She was hopeful as she looked at her boss.

“Oh, I am way ahead of you, doll. Was going to call you later on to give you the news. I have it in cash.”

Her smile was fond as she watched Nina’s jump for joy.

“Yay…Thank you. You don’t know how grateful I am. I was worrying about paying this months’ rent.”

Mariam’s smile turned to a look of concern.

“How are you going to cope?”

“I’ll see if I can still do the contract work with the Printing company. They deal with backpackers and illegals who are usually paid in cash. I hope I can be included. I’ll see what happens. Thanks for caring, and thanks for being such a wonderful boss. I enjoyed working here with you.”

Nina was tearful.

So was Mariam. Her tears spilled over as Nina watched.

“You take care, okay? And call me if you need anything.”

She insisted, as she hugged Nina goodbye.