Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen Hope I watch as Caleb takes Nathan in his arms after leading him under the bush blocking the view of our hidden cave. It's such a sharp contrast seeing Caleb's large frame and muscular arms carrying such a small little boy. Nathan has wrapped his arms around Caleb's neck and we're making our way back to the car through the bushes. I know I have so much explaining to do but now I'm feeling so tired as the adrenaline leaves my system. Caleb straps Nathan into the back seat and I slide into the passenger seat and reach back to take his small hand. All the panic I saw on his face earlier is gone and he's in awe of the beautiful car we're riding in. Caleb's being extra careful as he pulls out onto the road and we start making our way to his house. I know we can't stay there long, but maybe a night wouldn't hurt since I really don't have an emergency plan in place. When we get back into Caleb's neighborhood, we pass his apartment building and pull into a Target parking lot. "Let's go inside and get a few things. I'm not really set up for kids at my place." I try to tell him we won't need anything but he pretends to not hear me and reaches inside for Nathan who bounces out of the car and squeezes his hand. Caleb's right, I need to get some things together for Nathan since going back to our apartment right now, or possibly ever, is not in the cards. Caleb grabs a cart and picks Nathan up, showing him how to grip onto the handle and put his feet on the bottom rail so he can ride around the store as Caleb steers. From the look on Nathan's face, you'd never know that a few minutes ago he was running for his life. Caleb makes all the necessary racecar noises as he careens him through the isles and I listen as Nathan giggles and cheers him on. I'm still in a bit of a trance when Caleb stops us in the kids' bedding sections and tells Nathan to pick out a blanket and pillow. From there we find our way to the boys clothes. I watch as Caleb holds up a pair of jammies and looks at me questioningly. "What size?" "Probably a six." With that, Caleb's on a small rampage, throwing things into the cart as we pass them. A few pair of pants, some shirts with various characters on them and a jacket, which he immediately puts on Nathan. Pulling up to the shoes, Caleb tells Nathan to pick some out and this time Nathan looks to me. He loved his new shoes I bought him for school and I don't know how I'm going to tell him he won't get them back. "Can I get the light up ones?" He asks after a minute of consideration and I nod my head and watch as Caleb lines Nathan's little foot up to the mat that shows the recommended shoe size. Within seconds the shoes are in the cart and we're off to the soaps and tooth brushes. I begin to worry that I won't have enough in my account to cover all of this, but I say a little prayer and follow my boys to the register. The items move past me on the conveyer belt and I roll my eyes when both of them sneak a candy bar into the mix. Caleb asks me to move so he can push the cart through and I do what he asks, only the cart never fully passes me and now I'm blocked from standing in front of the cashier. When I realize what he's done I try to protest but he just winks at me and slides a card through the machine. Just like that we're on our way. Once all the bags are loaded into the car, Caleb asks if we're hungry. "I am," Nathan shouts, as if it's all a game. "What sounds good? McDonalds? Taco Bell?" Turning to me he asks, "What do kids eat? We could order in." I shake my head no. "McDonalds is fine. He'll eat a Happy Meal." I can tell that he isn't going to take no for an answer and I know that Nathan's probably starving. "Thank you, Caleb. For everything." "No problem. Let's get him fed, cleaned up and put into bed so you can tell me what's going on." I nod my head yes but feel the anxiety of earlier creeping back into my stomach. Caleb orders enough food for a small army and we head to his apartment. I turn to look at my brother as he takes in the building and all the fancy cars in the parking structure. Caleb grabs the bags and I carry the food into the elevator. Nathan's so excited I can feel the energy radiating off him as he jumps up and down when the elevator rises. I can only imagine what he's going to think when those doors open. "He's the Prince of Pies, huh Hopey?" he screams as the doors slide open to reveal Caleb's place. Caleb shoots me a questioning look and I just shrug my shoulders and turn a bright shade of red. Add that to the things I'm going to have to explain tonight. We all sit at the high table and eat our food, Nathan chatting on and on about the things he sees and the view from the tall window. When everything's finished, Caleb begins to pick up and when I stand to help he reaches out and covers my hand with his. "Go get him cleaned up. He's had a long day." I nod my head and gather the new soap that Nathan had picked out along with some new jammies. I thought the living room was going to impress Nathan, but I'd completely forgot about the shower door. When Nathan and I exit the bathroom, Caleb's lying on the bed with his hands behind his head. He sits up when he hears us coming out and I watch as he smiles down at Nathan in his new jammies. "I got your bed all set up," he says and together we walk down the hall to the guest room. I notice the nightlight that is plugged in and the fact that Caleb has gone to the trouble of finding a channel with cartoons for Nathan to watch. Caleb scoops Nathan up and drops him onto the bed causing a fit of giggles to explode from Nathan. "Do it again!" he shouts and Caleb complies until Nathan's laughing so hard he can't breathe. I watch from the doorway as Caleb pulls the covers back and Nathan climbs inside. I wish this could last forever which makes each moment it's real feel that much more intense and amazing. "Night, Nathan. I need to talk to your sister for a little while but we're just down the hall if you need us." Nathan nods his head and pulls his new blanket up over his small body. Caleb messes his hair and then leaves the room so that I can tuck him in. I give Nathan a big kiss and hug and tell him I love him. Sitting with him for a minute, I rub his back and tell him everything's going to be ok. Within minutes he's sound asleep and I exit the room, closing the door behind me. I expect that Caleb will be mad at me for not telling him sooner that Nathan's my bother or that I have a home that might not be safe. The walk down the hall to his room is one of the hardest walks I've ever taken and I pause outside the door to calm my nerves before entering. When I do enter, I'm surprised to see Caleb resting on his bed with his arms behind his head again. Unsure of what to do, I stand motionless at the foot of the bed, waiting for the lecturing and questions to begin. What I get instead is the most handsome, boyish smile as he extends his arm out in an invitation for me to lie on his chest. The relief is so huge that I almost begin to cry as I climb up and into his arms. For the first time in a long time someone comforts me and I spend the next hour wrapped in his arms as I finally tell him my story.