Chapter 73 Snickerdoodles
I push through the door and Hailey immediately wraps me in a warm hug. I really needed this hug right now. It's one of the only things keeping me from cracking. "Sweetheart, you look horrible! Charlie called me last night asking if you were still working," she said softly.
My stomach twists at that. I feel so damn guilty I've been keeping away from my sisters the last few days. It's not because I mean to, I've just been so damn overwhelmed and need a little time on my own... But last night... I don't even remember what happened!
"Oh, I wasn't ready to go face the wrath of Beth. I went for a walk last night... I don't remember much... Just Dean's damn voice on repeat in my head," I mumble. "I don't even know what time I made it back last night..."
"Oh, Josie! Don't you dare let that man in your head! He's deranged. There is something very wrong about that man. Now his son seems to have a good head on his shoulders. You listen to Richard, dear, and you push any of those dark thoughts away... By the way, I've made a fresh batch of cookies. I cook when I'm worried, you know. And when Charlie called at 11 asking where you were, well... I couldn't help it," she smiles kindly.
I grab a cookie and nibble, embarrassed by the roaring in my stomach. I can't even remember the last time I had anything to eat! I swear I'm going to eat every damn cookie today! I'm so hungry and these are so damn good!
"Thank's Hailey," I moan into the cookie.
"You are very welcome dear. Have as many as you want. But next time call someone... At least Charlie when you go off like that. It's getting close to winter. Just a week away, there are predators out you know!" She warned, as she pulled a new vase off her shelf and gathered a few ferns to start working on.
I hadn't even thought about that. There are mountain lions and coyotes that are prowling around. I don't know if they'd actually attack me, but I heard they take pets. I guess if there are enough of them they could attack. I heard about a bear attack last year... But I think they are already starting to hibernate now.
I start on my own arrangement that was called in yesterday during the whole Dean Kingston fiasco. It shouldn't take me very long. I should've stayed yesterday to work on it, but I just couldn't. I had to get out of here and get out of my head... But I guess it didn't really work.
I get the flowers and start the mindless task, pushing aside all the dark feelings I had from yesterday, just like Hailey said. It also helped that her snickerdoodles are practically magic! I'm gonna have to ask if I can bring some home... Maybe I can give Charlie a peace offering. I haven't talked to her in a few days...
And I swear she's keeping something from me. She wont' be able to when I give her the cookies. At least I hope she won't. There is something about her demeanor that has me really worried. She tells me it's just her homework, but I don't think that's it. Charlie is smart. She wants to become a pediatrician when she gets older. And she loves studying... Weird, I know! But she does.
I really hope she opens up to me soon.
By mid-morning I'm almost back to normal, with Hailey talking about her daughter Shauna. She's having her first baby in February and Hailey is ecstatic. She's gonna be the best grandma! Apparently they are having a baby boy and are having a hard time deciding on a name.
I smile at that. I wish I could be so burdened to have to come up with a name for my baby... I don't know if or when I'll ever have the privilege to have a baby... I never asked Rick if he wants kids, but I know sure as hell James never did.
And then the door bell chimes. The late autumn chill blows my messy honey brown hair into my face once again... I really need to braid it, but I didn't have time today.
I hold my breath, hoping it's Rick. He did promise to see me soon. And I am really needing him right now. Maybe if he can kiss me just once I'll start to feel normal again.