Chapter 239 Eyes Shut
My head is achy and my body is sore. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I just want to lay here and cry. I really wish Jay hadn't woken me up at all. I would've been perfectly fine completely passed out with no knowledge of what he'd done to me.
But no. He wanted me to suffer. He wanted me to know I was wrong for giving my body to someone else. He thinks he can control me better that way... Well, he might have control over my body, but I refuse to give him my mind.
After Trent, my heart is dead set on defying my uncle. I keep replaying the soft words he would say to me. His sweet kisses. The way he let me take control of everything.
I miss him. I don't know where he is right now, but I know he's probably doing everything in his power to find me. And regardless of what Jay thinks, Trent is going to find me. And then, Jay will pay.
I refuse to open my eyes yet. I don't want to look at him. I've got enough memories of his ugly face to last me more than a lifetime, and if I never see him again, it will be too soon.
I already know what I'm going to find. A drunken slob with a satisfied smirk on his face. Cold calculating eyes, wanting to know how to hurt me more than he already has.
I don't know how long I've been stuck in this room. All I know is my fingers if numb and my arms are tingling above my head. He'd tied me to the head of the bed after I tried to shove him off me. He's not used to me struggling, but I refuse to be weak.
Somehow, being with Trent has taught me I'm worth more than I thought I was. I have a right to fight back. And even if I'm tied to the damn bed, that doesn't mean I have to go quietly.
"I know you're awake, little whore! Open those eyes!" he sneers near my ear.
I flinch. I can't help it. He's too fucking close to me! I don't want to be anywhere near him, but I'm stuck. Tied to a fucking bed, unable to move my legs. I want to kick him, but they are tied down too.
But I keep my eyes shut out of pure spite! I don't want to see him! I don't want to remember him! I want him washed from my memory; purged from my soul.
I hate him. I hate him so much! I have no idea why the hell Aunt Beth married him, but the really do deserve each other. They are both pure evil. One day I hope they are both in jail.
He took everything away from me. He took my virginity. He took me from my family. I know he's involved in my parent's death somehow. He took me away from my sanctuary. And Trent!
Now, if Trent finds me gone, I'm sure he's going to call Rick, and then my sister is going to finally find out my secret I've tried so damn hard to keep from her.
Guilt floods me. I know I should've been the one who told her all of this. I know she could've stopped it if I'd just spoken up. But I didn't want to be another burden on her. She'd already had to deal with Beth stealing from us and taking Josie's hard-earned money. Josie was smart enough to put some away where Beth couldn't find it. But that doesn't make up for what she did steal.
I don't know if it's even worth keeping at this point. It will never end if I keep quiet. Trent already knows. Actually, the whole damn school knows now... Sort of. They have a very skewed version of what happened. All they know is I was pregnant and got an abortion. They have no clue it was from rape.
I don't know where I am. I'm not sure I really want to know. If I keep my eyes closed, then I won't have to remember my surroundings. I won't remember this freezing bed. I won't remember Jay trapping me under his sweaty body.
But I'm sure Trent will find me... I just don't know how long that will take. I've been praying for what seems like hours. I don't know if my prayers are being heard or not.