Chapter 189 Running Away
I don't know why I'm over-reacting like this. I know I'm being stupid. I shouldn't turn into such a damn crybaby just because I saw Melissa all over Trent. It's not live I've never seen them like that before.
It's not like he belonged to me. Yes, he did give the indication that he liked me. But maybe he's just being nice. Maybe he just wants to be friends. I think I can live with that, and if I can't... Well, there isn't anything I can do with that, other than transfer my classes so I don't have to be around him.
"It's fine Charlie! Just breathe! You're good! It doesn't matter!" I mumble as I run away like I'm escaping a crime scene.
And they dated back in high school, obviously he would hook back up with her. Although, he made it sound like they hadn't been together for a while, and he didn't feel like getting back with her. I'm pretty sure he told her to stay the hell away from him.
I guess she changed his mind. Maybe she told him some secret and he was willing to forgive all the cheating and her bitchy-ness. Maybe he just wants to fuck her... Wasn't that the whole basis of their previous relationship?
"It doesn't matter! I can be happy! Just breathe!" I berate myself as I push my feet forward.
That's fine! That's good. He can carry on with whatever the hell he's doing, and I can start to separate myself from it. I don't know if I can handle seeing him with his slut. It just hurts too much.
If I would been around him much longer, I would've fallen for him. I don't need to fall in love with anyone. I don't need to remember the way he looked at me when he called me Angel, or when he held me in his arms like I was precious to him. I'm sure he holds girls like that all the time... I knew that from the beginning!
It's best for this to happen now! Don't they always say to rip it off like a band-aid? Just stop it before you get in too deep.
"Nothing was going on between the two of us! We were just... acquaintances! We barely knew each other... We just went to the same high school!" I mumble.
I swallow and realize I might have already gotten in deeper than I expected. It hurts! It hurst more than I expected it to. I don't know why I feel so betrayed. He never said anything! Not really... He was just being sweet to me. He promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt me... but I don't think he was counting himself in that statement.
I'm fine on my own. I'm safe and no one can hurt me like this. I'll just go home and have a little pity party for myself. Maybe grab some Ben & Jerry's to drown out my sorrows. I'll be better by next week... Then I can get on with my life and push my focus back where it matters. Schooling and getting my degree.
If he goes after Melissa, she will stay the hell away from me, and that is the main thing. I'm not sure if he'll be happy with her, or he'll break up with her again, but that is none of my business. My business is solely on me.
Actually, I'm trying to figure out how the hell she even got into the nursing program in the first place. As far as I remember she was flunking half her classes. How did she even pass high school? How did she get into this class with a transcript I'm pretty sure looks like a toddler was trying to make pretty pictures.
It doesn't matter. None of it matters. I don't need to think about that bitch and the look on her face as she was kissing Trent. I don't need to think about the way Trent made me feel something that no other man has been able to do. Or the look on his face when I left him with his bitch.
"It's fine, Charlie! You are just being stupid!" I sob.
The only thing that matters is me getting home and going over my notes. I know I was writing them down, but honestly I can't remember a damn thing from what Professor Lenard said. It was like my brain had been on autopilot. My hands moved but I didn't register a damn thing. I'd been too busy having a damn panic attack.
Maybe I'll take another bath... I really liked the one I had yesterday... But then my mind trails off to when Trent texted me while I was in the bath... I’ll be anxiously waiting, Charlie.
Did he really mean that, or was he just saying that? And what did that even mean? He could've meant anything! And obviously he has the right to change his mind about... everything. When he sent that text, he didn't know Melissa would be in our same-
"CHARLIE! STOP!" Trent calls from behind me. His voice is thick and raw with emotions. It tugs at my heart.
I can hear the pounding of his feet as he chases after me like I'm the most important thing in his life. I just don't think I can let myself believe it.
My feet freeze hearing his voice. He sounds... desperate and broken. Those exact emotions are creating chaos in my heart and mind, completely at war with each other.