Chapter 160 Getting Better
I was in the hospital for two weeks. Two weeks of healing and encouragement from my support group. They consisted of doctors, nurses, peers, and of course, Rick.
I had sessions with doctors. They helped me with medication. They also encouraged me to talk about Aunt Beth and her abuse. The life I lived while under her reign of terror. About her husband and her brat of a daughter who expected me to do everything for them. I told them how the stole our inheritance and used it for themselves. They let me rant about my feelings for what seemed like hours if I needed. It was very cathartic.
They even let me talk to them about Rick. About the first time I met him, and how he would taunt me as a girl. How he made me feel beneath him. And how it hurt so bad, even when I didn't want to admit it.
Rick, while he looked ashamed, said nothing. He just held my hand the whole time. He didn't try to interrupt me at all. He wouldn't correct me or interject his point of view. He just let me get it all out.
In fact, he didn't leave my side the whole damn time. He sat there holding my hand, rubbing my back, or handing me tissues as I broke down bawling my eyes out.
"I've got you, little dancer. I'm so proud of you," He would continue to whisper in my ear. "Get it all out, sweetheart. I know you need to."
The words were soothing to my soul. Filled with love and patience that I would've never expected from him when I was younger. I thought I had gotten over my issues with him when I agreed to marry him, but I guess I was wrong.
After many of my sessions with the doctors, he's just hold me and let me cry. He wouldn't say much, just that he was proud of me and how much he loved me.
We had craft time every afternoon. It was a little hard for me with my left hand still wrapped up. I could still move my fingers, but the cast was cumbersome. I was so fucking glad when they took it off yesterday.
Rick helped me. He never did it for me, he just assisted if I dropped something or I was getting frustrated. He's been so patient with me, knowing exactly how to calm me down.
I don't mean to be so moody all the time, but the doctors told me it was just my hormones, and Rick shouldn't take anything I say to him too seriously, after I yelled at him for being a bastard. I really didn't mean to; it just slipped out.
"The thing is, Josie is always honest in her feelings," he whispered when we were in group session. "So, even if our little one is causing mood swings, that is exactly how she is feeling."
During group free time, Rick helped me make gifts for my sisters, even if they weren't very good. I'm not good with crafts. That's Liv's thing. But I tried my best.
I made a braided necklace with beads for Liv and a bookmark for Charlie. It was frustrating, but the occupational therapist who was helping me work told me I did a good job. He lied.
We had group meets, every morning and after lunch. I got to know the other residents pretty well. They all had different reasons for being here. Some were long term, but most were only here for a short time like me.
In group meetings we were free to talk about anything we wanted, as long as we kept things positive and encouraging. No one was allowed to put others down, and if someone was struggling (like I do) we are encouraged to talk them through it and give positive advice.
Not sure how that was going to help with my little one changing my moods every ten seconds or making me sleepy. But the women who had already given birth were very sympathetic to my plight.
I had visitors too. Hailey came on Monday during visiting hours (I guess she had Liv running the shop for a time) and when she saw me, she bawled her eyes out. She brought me a bag of her snickerdoodles and lots of supporting words.
I guess I understand why they were upset now. Sort of. I mean, I do, but I don't really feel it the way I probably should.
Rick told me everything. Or a very short version of everything. He took me into a quiet room and took my hands in his. He was very gentle but wasn't quite able to keep the emotion out of his voice. It really impacted him.