Chapter 111 In the Beginning
I blink my tears away. But it doesn't help. Nothing helps. They keep coming down my face, chilling my face even more. I'm surprised they haven't actually frozen to my face yet. I swear it's colder than a meat locker in here.
I'm so fucking cold right now. And not just physically. My whole soul feels cold. I feel frozen. I don't even know why I'm still alive anymore. I don't want to be. There is nothing left for me to live for. Everything I thought I knew, it was all a lie.
Now I know the difference between Rick and James. There is a difference between how they act and how they treat people. There is a difference between how they present themselves and their dominance. In how they each demand my submission. And I was wrong. Rick is nothing like James.
When Rick told me he loved me, he was gentle with me. He tried to make it good for me. He kissed my skin and worshiped my body. He made sure I was right there with him in every step of the process.
“That’s right baby. Call my name... I want everyone to know who owns this body,” he growled. “You’re mine Josie and no one is ever going to know my touch... No one will ever make you feel like I do!”
“Oh, Josie... You feel so good...” he moaned into my skin.
“Tell me what you want, baby girl,” he growled. “Say it, baby. I need you to say it!”
“That’s right little dancer... come for me,” he grunted.
James just fucked me. He bit me, he squeezed me, and he came inside me when he was finished.
"That's right baby, take my cock. Every damn inch! Feel how big I am, pounding into your pussy... I know you love this..." he'd hiss in my ear.
"You are going to be filled with my child!" He snarled over and over again. "That bastard will never touch you again! Not after I'm finished with you!"
"Milk me, baby! I need to cum... I need your sweet pussy to squeeze me hard! I'm so fucking close baby..." he grunted.
Every part of me hurts. Including my heart. I wish I could say I was numb. That would be better than this. At least then I wouldn't be in pain. I wouldn't be hating myself right now. I'd just be... nothing.
I wish I'd died with my parents. I wish like hell it all just stopped, because the day they disappeared my life went to hell. I've been living in hell for so long, I didn't even know it could get worse. But I was fucking wrong. But cause this is worse.
I let myself cry. There is no one here to comfort me. No strong arms to enfold me, whispering in my ear that it will all be alright. No one to tell me they love me, or even care about my well-being.
James sure as hell doesn't. I'm going to die of exposure in here, and all he cares about is getting his dick wet. He left me about an hour ago. No idea where he went... Probably to find Britt to see if she could get him off faster than I could.
He's probably right. Why the hell would Rick come for me now? Now that I'm used goods?
"He's never gonna want you back, baby. Not after I'm done with you. You're little pussy is just used trash now. And when it turns out you're pregnant with my baby? He'll fucking turn you out on the streets!" he hissed in my ear as he fucked me.
I think back to Richard Kingston. Those sparkling blue eyes and dark hair I loved running my fingers through. Those broad shoulders and protective arms he would wrap around me to comfort me.
And those damn lips he used equally to promise me forever and kiss the hell outta me. Those lips he trailed across my skin whispering words that filled my heart with hope.
He promised he loved me. He promised he would make up for ever hurting me. That all he's ever wanted was to be with me, and now he was going to keep me.
“Baby, you’ve always been worth wanting. I don’t understand why the hell my dad kept me away from you. But that is something I regret,” he murmured. “Even as I was hurting you, it killed me to watch you cry. I wanted to kiss it better, but my parents told me it was better this way... And I was stupid enough to believe them.”
And I believed him. I probably would've too. The way he treats me like a princess. He took me shopping for new clothes. He brought me into his home. “This is all yours, baby. My room is right there,” he said, pointing to the other door. “And the second you are ready to join me, all you have to do is come in.”
“This... Rick... It’s prefect. You’ve done so much,” I gushed my happiness.