Chapter 55 Chapter 55
Top 1 – Jade Maurice A. Solieza, Dominion University of Medicine and Science, 99.75%
I froze when I saw my name on the screen. No, this is not real. Am I really the top 1?
Tears streamed down my cheeks. I reloaded the page several times to make sure what I was seeing on the site wasn’t just a glitch, but it was real. I was on top. All my hard work in studying had paid off.
My hands were shaking as I picked up my cellphone. Jett immediately came to mind. I want him to know this news. I want to see his reaction. I want to meet him! We should celebrate this!
I immediately dialed his number, and I cried even more when he answered.
“Yes?” he greeted me.
“Babe, oh my God! You won’t believe what I’m about to tell you! I’m crying. I can’t believe it.”
“What is it, Jade? Just tell me.”
“I topped the board exam! Can you believe this? I told you I could do it! And my dream of going to Italy—there’s no way it won’t happen now. Hospitals will definitely compete to hire me, and when that happens… the two of us… we can finally go to Italy!”
“Oh, really?” he replied flatly, making my smile disappear. “Congrats. Lucky you.”
I frowned. “What do you mean 'lucky you,' Jett? Aren’t you happy for me?”
“I am. I didn’t say I wasn’t. I just wish everyone were like you—lucky. Getting what you want so easily. It’s really different when you’re rich.” There was emphasis in his words that stirred irritation inside me.
“Lucky? Do you think this is just luck, Jett? I worked hard to study for this, Jett, and to prove you wrong, because I can top the exam. And it’s not because we’re rich that this happened.”
“What do you mean it’s not? Your mom is a doctor. You’re surely already familiar with being a doctor, and she definitely teaches you too. It’s unfair to others who lack resources, so their dreams don’t come true. You’re also lucky because I’m sure the hospital where your mom works will hire you.”
My teeth clenched. I never expected that on the happiest day of my life, I would hear the most painful words. Just a while ago, I was crying because of good news—now I was crying because he couldn’t appreciate the biggest achievement I’ve had in my entire life.
I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. “You know, Jett, I feel like you don’t love me anymore.”
“Huh? Where did that come from?”
“Don’t deny it. The way you talk is different now. It’s like you have a lot of resentment toward me. Before, you were so gentle, sweet, and happy with me, but now… I feel like you don’t like me anymore.”
“What are you talking about now? You know, your intelligence is wasted if you think like that. We’re not kids anymore. People mature. If before I could still act cute for you, of course now I can’t anymore. I’m focused on work, on our future. How could I not love you when I’m working hard for the two of us? And for the wedding you dream of, right? Have you forgotten that?”
“I want to forget everything…” I blurted out. In an instant, I felt all the exhaustion rush in, as if something inside me suddenly snapped.
“Jett, I’m tired… it hurts so much… everything good that I do, you turn into something bad. I can’t do anything right anymore. All I ever wanted was for you to appreciate me, but no. Now, I can’t even be happy about being top 1 in the board exam. Fuck that top 1. What is it even for?”
I could no longer hold back my sobs. Damn it. Why can’t he just be happy for me? What is happening to the two of us? Is this really how a relationship is? Is this just a trial? Just a phase that everyone goes through to become stronger? Because I already want to give up.
“Jade… I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. That’s not what I wanted you to feel. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
“There you go again! You’re twisting my mind again! After doing this to me, you’ll just say sorry? You’ll sweet-talk me, I’ll forgive you, and then it happens all over again! Jett… what is wrong with you? You’re making a fool out of me! Maybe you’re laughing at me now. You’re unbelievable, Jett. You really are!”
“Babe… calm down. I swear, that wasn’t my point. Why do you always think I’m deliberately trying to hurt you? We need to step up. At the slightest move, you think I’m angry at you. You’re the one taking everything negatively. I’m just being honest. Isn’t what I’m saying reasonable? Not everyone is like you. Others struggle to get what you have.”
“So you really think I don’t struggle, huh? You think just because I’m rich, everything is easy for me! Of all people, I thought you would understand me the most! I just wanted to feel that I have a boyfriend—that’s why I told you this—but why does it feel like I’m fighting you too? And my mom? Do you think she supports what I want? I wish she were the first person I could tell that I’m okay, but she’s not! And then you, Jett… you… all I wanted was for you to say that we should celebrate, that at least we go out again. Look, I even made an excuse. I worked hard. But you didn’t think of that! Because all you think about is the future! Damn that future! Am I still there? Because I don’t feel it anymore. I feel like you’re already pushing me away.”
I couldn’t take it anymore and ended the call. I cried the whole night, and even when my dad knocked on my door to check on me, to congratulate me because he said he saw my name on the news, and to invite me to go out and eat, I couldn’t bring myself to face him. I couldn’t take a step away because I was too stuck in the place where I had stood for so long. I had fallen into a deep abyss. I fell… and even the reason I fell couldn’t save me—because he was the one who pushed me.
“Doc. Jade? Hello?”