CHAPTER 66

CHAPTER 66
His statement of her being in absolute control intrigued her. It wasn’t something that had ever occurred to her and she was curious as to whether it would make her feel less panicky, or perhaps she could prevent the inevitable meltdown if she had complete control of the situation.

She still wasn’t sure of how it would work exactly, but she planned to work up the courage to broach the subject with James. Soon. Because she wanted to take that next step. She wanted it badly. But she didn’t want a repeat of their last experience. One humiliating meltdown was enough. Another wouldn’t likely endear her to him. At some point his patience would wear thin. And the last thing she wanted was to be a tease. Get him hopeful and worked up only to yank the rug out from under him. Or herself for that matter.

Maybe Karla and Sandra could give her some advice. That would certainly be something new. Her asking them for advice when it came to men and sex. They might never get over the shock of it!

When she got out of the shower, she had responses from both women. Lux Café. Noon. She smiled at their willingness to drop everything for her. Not that she ever doubted such a thing, but it wasn’t usually her sounding the alarm. They’d likely be rabid with curiosity. She was sure Karla had been on the phone with Sandra the minute Sandra was back in town.

No better way to set the record straight than to do it herself.

After puttering around James’s house, exploring more, learning more about his personality, she dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and then sent James a quick text, remembering his request for her to keep in touch with him about her comings and goings.

Having lunch with the girls. I’ll let you know when I get back home.

She faltered a bit as she hit Send, biting her lip in consternation. Perhaps she shouldn’t have referred to his house as “home.” But it was too late now.

Her phone chimed almost immediately with James’s reply.

Have fun and be careful. Call me if you need me.

Her smile was a little—okay, a lot—ridiculous over his expression of concern. The command for her to call him if she needed him. It gave her a measure of reassurance she’d never experienced, the idea that he’d come the minute she needed him.

She climbed into her car, a bite of sadness hitting her, the same as it always did when she got inside the car her brother had given her for her twenty-first birthday. She missed him. He’d been her rock in so many ways. Life without him had been a huge adjustment. He’d always been there for her. Steady. Unwavering. He was the only other person who not only knew, but shared the horror of her childhood.

When she arrived at the Café, predictably Karla was already there and Sandra was late. They teased her mercilessly about always being late. But neither of her friends ever minded waiting on her.

Sandra was just a ray of sunshine and she brought warmth with her everywhere she went. There was no gentler and kinder a person to be found anywhere. Derrick was very lucky she had such a forgiving nature, because he’d very nearly lost her over his stupidity.

“How are you?” Karla asked in concern, her eyes crinkled as she studied Sophia. “You look . . . better.”

Sophia smiled. “I am. Let’s go sit and wait for Sandra. Then I’ll tell y’all everything.”

Karla’s brows rose in surprise. Usually they had to pry any information out of Sophia and she was usually reluctant to offer it. Not this time. Sophia was turning over a new leaf and it was starting now. Perhaps it had started the moment James entered her life.

Five minutes later, Sandra breathlessly hurried up to the table, sliding into the booth next to Karla.

“Sorry, sorry!” Sandra said. “I just lost track of time. Honeymoon brain, I’m afraid. I’m too used to doing nothing at all. I’ve become quite lazy over the last two weeks!”

Both women smiled at their friend. She was flushed with happiness, her eyes sparkling like twin diamonds.

“I guess we don’t have to ask how it went,” Sophia drawled.

Sandra blushed to the roots of her hair and grinned mischievously. “It went . . . well.”

Karla rolled her eyes. “Now why do I believe that’s a huge understatement?”

Sandra turned her gaze on Sophia, her eyes bright with concern. “How are you, sweetie? Karla told me what happened. Are you all right?”

Sophia nodded, suffering only a hint of embarrassment over the fact her friends had discussed her.

“I wanted to get y’all’s . . . advice,” Sophia said uncomfortably.

Sandra and Karla exchanged quick surprised looks but they were also obviously delighted with Sophia’s statement.

“It’s about James,” she blurted before she lost her courage and clammed up.

Sandra’s eyebrows shot up, but she couldn’t have been that surprised if Karla had told her about Sophia’s epic meltdown and the fact that James called her to come over. Or perhaps Karla had glossed over the facts, waiting for Sophia to confide in Sandra in her own time. She sent her friend a look of gratitude and Karla smiled warmly back as if to say, “Hey, I got your back.”

“We’ve sort of become . . . involved,” Sophia said lamely. “In a good way, I mean.”

“That’s wonderful, Sophia!” Sandra exclaimed. “You have to catch me up on all the details. Are you happy? Do you like him?”

Sophia sighed. “It’s complicated. Really complicated. But I figured you two were in a position to give me some guidance here considering the lifestyle you both live.”

“Then you know James is a Dominant,” Sandra murmured.

Sophia nodded. “But here’s where it gets complicated. He swears that for me he’ll give up complete control. That he’ll deny that part of himself. For me. That when and if I’m ready to make love, I’ll have complete control because he doesn’t want me to ever be afraid of him.”

“Whoa,” Karla breathed. “That’s pretty heavy. I mean wow. That’s huge, Sophia. Huge!”

Sandra nodded her fervent agreement. “You have to understand just how big that is, Sophia. Men like him don’t just give up control. To anyone. I’d say that speaks volumes about the way he feels about you.”

Sophia was delighted to hear it. To have it confirmed. She’d suspected, yes, but she didn’t truly understand the enormity of his vow. These two women would. They were both committed to dominant men. Men they were submissive to.

“I freaked out pretty bad on our first official date,” Sophia said, though this was not news to Karla. “All we were doing was kissing on the couch, but I just kind of shut down and then freaked completely out. James was worried. I wanted him to leave and he finally did only because he worried he would do more damage by staying. But he called Karla to come over because he refused to leave me alone.”

“He sounds like the real deal,” Sandra said softly. “He sounds like he cares a lot about you, sweetie.”

“I hope so,” Sophia murmured. “I care about him. I may even love him. I’m not sure yet. It’s all very confusing. He had to leave on a business trip right after our date and I didn’t sleep at all while he was gone. I don’t feel safe when he’s not there. And I hate that dependency. He came back a day early and I collapsed in the office. He brought me back to his house and has insisted on me staying ever since. I haven’t been to work since last Wednesday.”

“So it looks like he’s only willing to suppress his alpha tendencies in a few areas,” Karla observed, her eyes gleaming in amusement.

“I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I kind of like them. He’s arrogant and bossy but he’s so gentle with me. He makes me ache. He makes me want things I’ve never wanted before,” she said honestly.

Sandra reached for her hand and squeezed. “Then go for it. Give him a chance. And if what he said is true and he’s willing to give up control, then, honey, that is huge. It’s not something a man like him would ever do lightly and I highly doubt he’s ever made that offer to a woman before. Which makes you very special to him.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Sophia said ruefully. “I have zero experience with the whole dominant/submissive thing. And he’s admittedly a Dominant. All his relationships have been with submissive women. But he told me he doesn’t want my physical surrender, that he’d never bring the physical components of dominance and submission into our relationship. He wants my emotional surrender, and that I think is perhaps even scarier than the physical aspects of that kind of relationship.”

“It can certainly make you more vulnerable,” Karla agreed. “But you have to look at the payoff and decide if it’s worth it. If he’s worth it. Because evidently he’s already considered his options and has decided that you’re worth the sacrifice he’ll make.”

“I understand James’s sacrifice more than most,” Sandra said quietly. “I denied that part of myself for Clement because I knew he could never give me dominance. I loved him and I have no regrets, but there was always a part of me that was unfulfilled because submission was something I needed—craved.”

Sophia fell silent, pondering her friends’ words and reactions. If they were to be believed, what he’d offered her was huge. And maybe she’d already recognized the magnitude of what he was offering her, but she’d needed validation from two women who’d know.

“I want to try,” she said honestly. “For the first time, I really want to try. I want what other women have. A normal life. Someone who loves and cares for me. Someone who won’t run from my past like I have and someone who will protect me. And he fits the bill on all counts.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Karla said challengingly. “And no, I’m not saying you should rush into a physical relationship with him. But it sounds like the two of you are well on your way to something solid. I’m happy for you, Sophia. I like James a lot. Yes, he’s alpha, but it’s obvious he’s very caring and sensitive to your needs. You can’t ask for more than that.”

Sandra nodded her agreement.

“I’m scared to death,” Sophia admitted. “More scared than I’ve ever been. But it’s a different kind of fear. It’s not him I’m afraid of. Or having an actual relationship. I’m afraid of screwing this up. Just like I’ve screwed up everything else in my life.”

Both Sandra and Karla frowned fiercely at her. “You are not a screw up,” Sandra chastised her. “Honey, you have legitimate reasons to fear intimacy. And James knows that. Give him a chance, but more importantly, give yourself a chance. Trust yourself and your instincts. You’ll never know unless you give it a shot.”

Sophia nodded slowly. “I knew all this. I suppose I just needed to hear it from y’all. Thanks. I really needed y’all today.”

“Like you haven’t been there for us,” Karla snorted. “Between the three of us, we’ve managed more emotional crises than a psych ward.”

Sandra and Sophia laughed, the mood relaxing as the three enjoyed their lunch. Sophia sat back, luxuriating in the feel of something new and delicious. The hope of something permanent and real.

All she had to do was reach out and take it. James had put her solidly in the driver’s seat. It was up to her to make the next move.

James strode into Derrick’s office with a sense of purpose. Though the two men had conversed the evening before, James hadn’t shown his hand. Not yet. He’d only said he needed to discuss important business matters with his partner the following morning.

This would perhaps be the first real test of their partnership. James was prepared to dig in his heels solidly when it came to Sophia and it had nothing to do with his personal feelings for her. He’d told her it was business and he hadn’t lied. Sophia was smart, a go-getter, and she deserved to be a major component of the consulting business. Her talents were wasted in the capacity of an office manager only. Not that she didn’t do a damn fine job, but she was destined for bigger and better things. If they didn’t act to secure her, someone else eventually would. One day Sophia would reach the same conclusion that James already had. That she was worth far more than an office manager. And in no way did he plan to lose her. Professionally or personally.

“Morning,” Derrick greeted when James came through his door.

“How was the honeymoon?” James asked, obligated to inquire about the obvious before they moved on to business.

“It was great. Wish we were still there,” Derrick said wistfully. “How were things here? Any problems?”

James shook his head. “None at all. We secured the S&G contract. Thanks in large part to Sophia.”

Derrick’s eyebrows rose as James took a seat in front of his desk.

“She’s good,” James said bluntly. “I gave her the lead on this project. Gave her all the info I had and told her to come up with a plan. We met the night before to discuss and I agreed with every single one of her recommendations.”

Derrick sat in silence, absorbing his partner’s words.

“Is there something I’m missing here?” Derrick asked. “Because I feel like I’m missing a huge piece of a puzzle. When I left, Sophia could hardly stand to be in the same room as you. And while I’m gone you two partner and she takes the lead on a very important contract to this firm? And you let her?”

“She is mine,” James said. “I don’t care who knows it. But our relationship has nothing to do with her career prospects. I’m perfectly capable of separating business and pleasure, and she has a bright mind. She rose to the challenge beautifully and I intend to see that rewarded. I think we should consider giving her more responsibility and hiring a different office manager to take over her duties. Eventually she could make a partner. I’m certain of it.”