Chapter 167 The Comfort Of Nostalgia

Chapter 167 The Comfort Of Nostalgia
Rain

I’ve been here now for a couple of days. Most of those days have been spent with the kids in one way or another. We took them out to the garden. I was a bit nervous about that, but then Sadce brought out this huge gate thing. It was like a whole bunch of baby gates had been put together to form one round baby gate that almost looked like some kind of a pen. Then we put down blankets on the soft grass and got toys. It was fun. 

Today it has seemed that the kids have finally calmed down some. I was almost afraid to go pee because they would get so wound up. Being pregnant, I have learned I have to pee a lot. That is a whole new curveball I am going to have to figure out. 

Right now, Sade said he had something he wanted to show me, so I am following him somewhere. He opens a door, and I see a room. It’s not a huge room, but it’s decent sized. There are several windows. Canvases are leaning against the wall, a couple of easels, and a rack of some kind. There is also a large group of bins with all kinds of supplies in them. 

“This is the beginning of your studio. We have been meaning to put this together for you for a bit now, but things just got away from us. So, now, this is like the bare minimum of stuff. I will take you shopping and let you pick out all of your own supplies when you are ready. I just thought this might be a spark to bring back your creativity. Perhaps if you pick up a brush and start to paint, it will come back to you on some level.” 

I just walked forward, almost like I was afraid to touch it. I opened the plastic drawers of the big bin on wheels. There were all kinds of painting things in here. Different types of paints, brushes, blenders, paint thinner, as well as remover. I pulled out different things and looked them over. I don’t remember painting like this. I remember some painting, but it was kid stuff. I loved it, but I don’t remember doing this. 

I find that I want to try, though. The idea of being able to paint and play around with this stuff actually excites me. I turn and smile at Sade, and he smiles back, “Thank you. I think I will like that. Not sure that I can actually paint, but I think I will have fun at least.” 

He nodded, “Then that’s good. Even if this is just a fun stress reliever and something you enjoy, then it is well worth it, and we still need to get this all set up. My office is right across the hall. So, I am going to go and do just a little bit of work. How about you check things out and see what you want to do? The nanny has the kids; they are fine. You will be right here, and we’ll be back with them soon, but you need time for you as well.” I nodded. 

“Okay, well, I’ll see what happens.” Again with the nod. 

He pointed to a switch on the wall. “We did have a professional ventilation system installed. Especially with you being pregnant and some of this stuff is kind of potent and all of that. So, we can keep this on to make sure the room stays well ventilated.” I nodded; that was a good idea. 
He just smiled and left, closing the door behind him. I turned and ran my hands over all sorts of stuff. Then I checked out the canvases and picked one out that seemed a good size. 

I set it on the easel and then walked forwards and backwards, just seeing about the placement. I adjusted the easel to make it feel better. There was a stool with a back in here, so maybe I used to use one of those when I painted. I’d see how it felt. 

I had no clue what I even wanted to try and paint, honestly. I wasn’t sure what Sade remembered me painting, as he hadn’t really told me that. He just told me I was a really good artist. I did remember that my art had always tended to be rather eclectic. Sometimes I felt like landscapes; some days it was portraits, some days it was more easy flowing and modern in some ways. Some days were bold colors and angry, sharp lines, sometimes with definition and sometimes without. 

Eventually I selected some paints and set up the palette. Then some brushes and got them ready. I set everything up on a stand, and put some brush cleaner and all of that where I could reach it. There were paper towels, regular towels, and an apron thing for me. So, with all of that done, I sat in the chair and just looked at the canvas. Then I picked up a brush, dipped it in paint, and started to paint. 

Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you where my head went while I was painting. It was like I kind of zoned out or something. I wonder if I used to do this all the time when I painted. It almost felt like my hand moved of its own accord, and I was just along for the ride. I started to see something taking shape. I think it will take me a bit to finish it, but the rough shape and color are there. As I clean up and step back, it seems both surreal and comforting at the same time. Like seeing an old friend, and you are both, oh my gosh I can’t believe this, and ah, yeah, I remember this, all at the same time. 

I don’t truly remember painting before. It feels more like maybe it’s muscle memory. That I just know how to do this and my hand just did it, like it always does or something. I wonder what else I’ll discover I just have muscle memory for? Sade hasn’t really talked to me about other things I might have liked to do or anything, so I guess we’ll have to explore that. 

For now, I’m just enjoying this feeling of nostalgia. There’s no physical memory for it. However, the warm and fuzzy feelings are still there with it. So, to me, I’ll take it and be very grateful for it. This feels like a big part of me. From what he said, it was. With this feeling, and the way it’s affecting me, I can completely see that. It’s like some part of my soul missed this, and is happy to be back. I even wiped a few tears, although I wasn’t exactly sure why. 

I stand back and look at the start of the painting again, then I grin, turn off the light, shut off the ventilation thing, and close the door behind me. I am excited at the prospect of next time.