Chapter 161 One Day At A Time
Chapter 161 One Day At A Time
Rain
It’s been several very confusing days. The doctors have been in to run a bunch of tests. I have had scans of all kinds. So far, they have said I seem to be healing well, but due to the brain trauma, I may never regain the memory I have lost.
Sade, the one who has been here. The one who is my husband that I don’t remember, but I have two kids with and another on the way. I don’t remember any of our lives together, not even growing up. He has told me some things, though.
Apparently I am an artist, and he built me a studio when I was growing up, and then I have had other ones. He said I had been so busy with the kids I haven’t painted as much as I would have liked. He just hired a Nanny, mostly because he wanted to be up here with me, but he wants to keep her around. He says that way it will help with me trying to get to know the kids, him, and everything about our life, and then maybe I’ll have time to paint.
He has told me about our growing up, and it seems like it sucked, really bad. He laughed when I said that. “Well, part of it did. Your mom got really busy with my dad, and they were all over the place. I think that is why you and I originally got so close to one another. Then it just grew from there over the years. I guess, in a lot of ways, that is why we are so comfortable with our lives revolving around each other so much now.”
I think about that, “Did I have any other friends? No one but you has been up here to see me.”
He took a deep breath, “Well, you had a couple of friends in school, but after graduation, they kind of took off with their own lives, and you lost contact with them both. I guess I was so upset that they kind of just left you behind that I never encouraged you to try and pursue the friendships anymore. You got pregnant so fast with our son that it was a totally different world, and they were off partying in college, and you were here, married to me and expecting a baby. We lived in a couple of different places while I learned pieces of the business I'm going to be taking over, so that was an adjustment for you, and why you haven’t had the time to develop any really meaningful friendships. Now that we are in Chicago permanently, I’m hoping maybe that can change.” I nod to that, just thinking.
“I have always hoped that you would start painting again. I know that you don’t remember how good you were, but, baby, you are incredible. Like world-famous painter good, I swear to fucking god. I always wanted you to pursue having your work hung in galleries all over the world, but you blew me off as not thinking you were good enough, or that our lives were too full for you to do that. Now that we have a nanny and you have the chance, I’d love for you to start painting, and we can see how much of that raw talent that you always had still shows up on the canvas. If you enjoy it like you used to, you can look into building up a portfolio, and maybe sometime we can submit them to some galleries and see what happens.” I thought about that.
“I’ve always loved art, and did a lot of that in school. I always asked my mom for art supplies for any birthday or holiday. So, maybe that would be a way for me to remember something, I don’t know. We could try.” He nods and smiles.
“That sounds like a good plan, sweetheart. I just want you to be happy; I’ve always wanted that. So, if it makes you happy, then I want you to go for it. We will take things one step at a time. I know you don’t remember me or being married to me, but I hope someday you remember how much I have loved you, and I still love you, no matter what.” I smile shyly, not knowing what to say honestly. This all feels so strange.
To me, I mentally feel too young to be married and have kids. However, physically, I know I am old enough for all of this. I am currently pregnant, so I am going to have to figure out a way to make this all work somehow. He seems like he really cares about me. He never leaves me; he’s always right here with me. So, that is something, I guess.
“When am I going home?” He took my hand and rubbed his thumb across the back.
“We have been working with the doctors to run all the tests. I know they want all of the results back from all of that, and then they will probably start talking about that. So far, none of the pictures have ever stirred your memory, so I guess I’m just planning that we are going to have to build new memories for the ones that you lost, and you are going to have to find your footing in our life, and I’m going to help you do that.”
I take a big breath. “What happens if you feel like it’s too much trouble to have a wife that doesn’t remember you or your life together? That is a lot.”
He smiles, “I will never not love you. I will never not need you. I will never walk away from you or give you up for anything in the whole entire world. I would burn the world down to ash before I would give you up. That is how much I love you.” I was watching him wide-eyed as he said all of that.
“Wow, okay, that’s not intense or anything.” He laughed as I said that.
I would just have to see how this went. I mean, we were expecting a baby, and they had done an ultrasound the other day, and the blob was there with a blinking light that they said was the heartbeat. They let us hear it and everything. I guess we’re like ten weeks pregnant now. That is still blowing my damn mind.
“Hey, just take a deep breath. We’ll take it one day at a time together. We can get through this. I promise, I won’t let you down. I won’t let us fail.” I nod, knowing that this is what I need to do.