Chapter 57

Chapter 57
Chapter 57

The next evening feels like it is coming much too quickly. The night feels different. Heavier. As if the air knows what is about to happen.
My fingers tremble slightly as I look in the small mirror on the wall.
Even a blind person can see the nerves in my eyes. I still want to push through, but the anxious feeling that has overwhelmed me since I dropped Claire off is becoming increasingly dominant.
Dex takes my hand. "You can still change your mind." His voice is no more than a whisper. I take a deep breath and look at him in the mirror in an attempt to get my nerves under control. It doesn't work. Seeing and feeling his worry only fuels it. "I won't," I try to say as confidently as possible.
I turn to him. He tries to hide it, the fear, the worry. But I can feel it now, through our bond. I cup his face. "I trust you." It takes no effort for me to say this with certainty, because it is not a lie. I trust him completely. I know that if there is anyone who can help me through this, it is him. I peck his lips, and I feel him relax. Not completely, but a little, and that is enough, for now.
He nods and squeezes my hands. "Let's do this."
He doesn't let go of my hand as we walk into the adjoining room where the doctor is already waiting for us. He bows his head. "Alpha, Luna," he says respectfully. My mouth feels bone dry, so I smile nervously. He gestures towards the bed with his hand.
"I have to ask again," he says, looking at us one by one. "Are you sure you want this?"
"Yes," I answer with a shaky voice. I clear my throat and answer again, this time with more conviction. The doctor nods. "Well then. Just to be sure, I want to check your vital signs. We don't want any surprises," he says as I settle onto the bed. My feet dangle over the edge. Neither of us says anything while the doctor does his thing.
"Okay, no restrictions on my part," he finally says with a forced smile. The doctor is not entirely at ease with our decision. He takes a step back, and I make myself comfortable on the bed.
"Can you give us a minute?" Dex asks. He nods and immediately leaves the room. Dex sits down next to me on the bed. "It's going to hurt a little," he mumbles, his face already drenched in regret.
"I can handle it," I assure him. Although I don't know who I need to convince more, him or myself. What I do know is that we have to do it now, before I can think about it any more. I take his arm, ready to tell him. I don't get the chance. Before I can even get the first word out of my mouth, he silences me with his.
The kiss is far from tender. It's hungry, possessive. Automatically, I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands slide over my back and waist. He deepens our kiss while grabbing the hair from the back of my head with one hand. One of his hands disappears under my shirt, purposefully heading for my breasts. I moan into his mouth as he gently squeezes my nipple.
I pull on his shoulders so that he is lying half on top of me. His mouth finds its way to my neck. I have to suppress a moan as he works his mark with his tongue. I wiggle my hips and feel his cock getting harder and harder. He moans softly in my ear as I seek more friction. My shirt has been pulled up by now, and while he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, he plays with the other. I want more, no, I need more. "Dex," I whimper as I press him down on his butt with my hands. I am rewarded with his hand sliding down. I bite my lip in anticipation of the touch that is about to come.
On the way down, he seems to hesitate occasionally, and when he takes his attention away from my breasts, I'm afraid he'll stop completely. Impatiently, I move my hips against his cock again. He grins. It seems to be working because he lets loose on his mark again. A tremor runs through me when he occasionally scrapes his teeth over it.
"Fuck," he growls as he slides his fingers over my slit. "Please," I moan in his ear. He needs to know that this is exactly what I, what we, need before he changes me. I press myself closer against him. I know that he feels the same way as I do. Even if it's just because of his hard dick pressing through his pants.
I moan with pleasure as he runs his thumb over my clit. His fingers pump in and out of me while he still doesn't leave his mark alone. The combination is overwhelming, and it doesn't take long before I feel that familiar sensation coming on. I cling to him. "Oh fuck, Dex," I manage to say before feeling my orgasm surge through me.
But that's not the only thing. The blissful feeling is interrupted by intense pain. It takes a second before I realize the pain is caused by Dex digging his teeth deep into my neck. My moans of pleasure turn into cries of pain, but Dex doesn't let go. His teeth only cut deeper. My body doesn't know what to do. Instinctively, I want to push him away so the pain stops. But I know I have to get through this. So I do the only thing I can think of. As I feel a drop slide down my neck, I pull Dex's pants down. For a moment, he seems uncooperative, but then he thrusts his cock deep inside me without hesitation. Finally, he lets go of my neck and groans. "I'm sorry," he says in pain and licks the wound. "It seemed like a good distraction from the moment," he apologizes.
"Shut up and fuck me," I groan. Partly from pleasure, partly from the pain. Because even though his teeth are gone, it still hurts. I try to focus on the feeling of his cock deep inside me. Before he starts thrusting, he kisses me. My legs rise, and I lock my ankles behind him. "As you wish," he mumbles. He grabs my hips and starts moving slowly. The bed bangs against the wall, but I don't care. "Harder," I moan as the burning sensation spreads from my neck. He grips my hips and does what I ask. I try to hold back a moan. Not because I'm afraid someone will hear us otherwise, but because it is a moan of pain. I can no longer ignore the burning sensation. I feel as if my entire body is slowly on fire, from the inside out.
Dex puts his hand between us and rubs my clit. I see the panic in his eyes when it turns out that it isn't helping me with the pain. His thrusts become uncontrolled, and I know he is about to come. He works my clit harder and harder. Although it doesn't help with the pain, it does bring my second orgasm closer.
My orgasm causes Dex to come as well. For a brief moment, pleasure seems to triumph over the torment, but not for long. As soon as the wave of bliss reaches its peak, the torture forces itself to the surface. I can no longer hold back my pain, and a scream escapes me.
I hear my heart pounding in my ears, and my vision blurs. Dex places a hand on my cheek, and from his moving lips, I can make out that he is talking to me, but I cannot hear it. I slap his hand away, the touch too painful. A new wave of pain makes me arch my body. I barely see someone push Dex aside, but I don't know who it is.
Then everything goes black.

When I wake up, the pain is gone. It is quiet around me, and I open my eyes. The light hurts my eyes. I blink rapidly, trying to let my eyes adjust to the brightness. It takes a moment, but when I can finally see clearly, it finally sinks in that I am no longer in the hospital. I look down; I am still wearing the same clothes, but something feels off.
Slowly, I stand and take in my surroundings. I don't recognize the green meadow I am standing in. My eyes widen in shock.
Oh God. I was wrong, it can't be otherwise. I am dead. Tears well up.
My heart aches and fills with regret. Claire. My poor Claire. And Dex. Oh my god, what have I done? I drop to my knees and, sobbing, bury my head in my hands.

Someone kneels beside me. Through my tear-stained face, I see a woman next to me. Is she dead, too? "Who... Who are you? Have you come to take my soul?" I whisper. The woman lets out a laugh. "Take your soul?" she asks in surprise.
"Isn't that how it goes when you die?" I ask. "Oh my dear Lilly," she says with a warm smile and puts a hand on my arm. "You are not dead."
It takes a moment for it to sink in what she is saying. "If I am not dead, where am I? And, who are you?" I look around again, hoping that I might recognize it after all. But my memory remains blank; I am pretty sure I have never seen this place before.
"And where is Dex?" I ask before she can answer me.
"I understand you have questions; you will return to him soon," she says, still with the same gentle smile on her face.
"When?" I am starting to get impatient. "Where am I?"
"Soon" is the only answer I get.
I think she feels my growing irritation because she adds, "This place has no name. In fact, we are nowhere. And I think you know who I am." I don't understand any of it. I have definitely never seen this woman before. I am starting to think that I might be nearly dead, and that my brain is playing tricks on me.
"I am the Moon Goddess. I have come to help you with your transition," she says when I don't answer.
My jaw drops in amazement. "How... Why... I..." I stumble over the dozens of questions that come to mind. They all seem equally important. The goddess chuckles softly. "Will I survive it? Are my assumptions correct?" I finally ask first. She remains silent for a moment, as if she needs to think about the answer. "You said you would help me with the transition. That must mean I'll survive it... right?" My voice cracks at the end of my sentence.
"You are stronger than you think." That wasn't the answer I was waiting for. "That sounds... not very reassuring." The loving look on her face disappears, making way for a more serious expression. Something that frightens me.
"It wasn't meant to be like that. The change is painful, but remember that you are stronger than you think." I swallow; I don't know what she wants to achieve, but all she's doing so far is sowing more fear in me. "What if you're wrong? What if I'm not strong enough? I need your help. I can't leave Claire alone."
She looks at me sternly. "You don't walk your path for yourself alone." I feel my face getting hot, and I frantically try to blink away the tears welling up. "What kind of answer is that?!" I have to make an effort not to lash out at her. "Just give me a normal answer." Her gaze turns icy, and a shiver runs through my body. "You don't get answers to everything in life. Some things will become clear on their own." She doesn't seem to care about my growing frustration.
"Okay. Then, why me? Why did you mate me with a wolf a second time, if the first time didn't end well?"
This question softens her stern gaze. "Because, my child, you are the answer." I frown at her yet again, a cryptic answer. Moon goddess or not, this woman is getting on my nerves. "The answer to what?" I ask anyway. "To something that has been going on for decades, something we haven't succeeded in yet." I open my mouth again to probe further, to demand answers. But she beats me to it. "The battle between humans and wolves. It has to stop. Only then can the wolves survive." My eyes almost pop out of their sockets. "I'm sorry, what?" Again, she smiles with that terrible maternal smile, as if that makes everything right. "You, my child, you are the bridge. The bridge between humans and wolves." Is this woman crazy? I cannot possibly be the salvation of her species. "You must be wrong. I am not special. I am not capable of that." I sputter back. She starts walking backward slowly. "Wait!" I call after her; she can't leave me alone here. I don't know what to do. One moment she is standing just a few meters away from me, and the next she is gone. As if she had never been there.