Chapter 56

Chapter 56
Chapter 56

The moment Dex agreed, something in the air changed. Not lighter, but despite our discussion, it felt heavier.
Even though we hadn't talked about it since the last time, it always hung between us like a sort of storm. A storm that just wouldn't break. And now the storm has subsided. The question of whether or not I would change is no longer a question. It is a decision. A decision for which a plan must be made.
Minutes after Dex agreed, he changed from a concerned, loving mate to the Alpha.
He calls Reece and Ronan over. He tries to appear calm and driven, but the tension in his shoulders betrays him. At least, I can see right through it. If the others notice anything at all, they don't show it. They head into another room, while I stay in the office with Claire. Claire is still entertaining herself with the toys Beth brought earlier today.
"Are you okay?" asks Beth, who is now standing next to me. I jump; I was so lost in thought that I hadn't heard her coming.
She smiles apologetically. "Yeah," I answer with a smile. "You sure?" she asks to be sure, and I see concern and understanding in her eyes. I swallow. Dex told her.
"He told you." She nods. Just as I am about to ask if the others know too, I hear Ronan scream. "YOU WHAT?!"
I freeze. Not everyone is taking the news well. "They'll come around," Beth says, gently squeezing my shoulder. "Do you think I, that we, are making a mistake?" I ask cautiously. Not because I have doubts, I realize, but because I need her permission.
She is silent for a moment. "Is it dangerous? Yes," she answers. "But if anyone is strong enough to endure it, it's you," she says, and I believe her. I take her hand. "Beth, you have to promise me something." My voice breaks. "If I." I swallow. "If something goes wrong." I look at Claire with stinging eyes. "Will you take care of her?" Beth's eyes glisten, and a tear forms in the corner of her eye. "Yes." Her voice sounds hoarse. "Yes, I promise." I hug her. "I love that girl." She mumbles in my ear before pulling back and looking at me with her hands still on my shoulders. "But it won't be necessary. You are one of the strongest women I know. You will be one of us." I nod and wipe away the tear that slides down my cheekbone.
I feel relieved, relieved that I have a backup plan for Claire. Someone I trust, and who is familiar to Claire.
Bruce storms into the room. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" he screams desperately. Before I can even react, Dex, Ronan, and Reece are already in the room. I open my mouth to say something, but Ronan beats me to it. "Relax, Bruce." He places a hand on his shoulder. He turns around angrily. "Relax?!" he says, still desperately. He looks from me to his mother and to the others. "How can you be so calm about this? Lilly might not survive!" His voice grows softer and softer and is eventually no more than a whisper. I feel sorry for him. Beth steps up to him. "The Alpha and Luna have thought about this. The decision wasn't made lightly." I glance at Dex.
His face is neutral, but his body is even more tense than before. His eyes are fixed on Bruce. I see the despair and incomprehension on Bruce's face. Then comes the painful realization that Bruce is reacting this way because he fears I won't survive and because he still has feelings for me. My stomach clenches at the realization. I am conflicted; what should I do? I want to reassure Bruce, take his hand, and tell him that everything will be okay. But I don't want to give Dex a reason to lose his temper. Because he knows. He knows why Bruce is reacting so violently, and he doesn't like it. Should I just let Bruce go and go to Dex to try to reassure him? Make sure he doesn't lash out at Bruce? But I also don't want to give Bruce the impression that he doesn't matter, that his feelings don't matter. He is my best friend; he knows that. At least, I hope so.
Before I can make a decision, Dex does it for me. With a few big strides, he stands beside me and puts his arm around my waist. "As your mother said, it has been well thought out." His tone is emotionless, as is his face. He looks down at me briefly, and I think he can read the conflict on my face because his expression softens, and his arm slides slowly down my back, and he takes my hand. "Lilly is convinced that our bond will help her through this," he says a little more softly. "And I think she is right." He looks at Bruce again. Although his face is softer now, he still radiates a vibe that says he won't tolerate a word of resistance. "After all, the moon goddess must have had a reason to mate her with a wolf a second time." Those words seem to sink in more with Bruce.
After seconds that seem to last for hours, Ronan breaks the silence. "When?" Dex looks at me briefly. "Soon." He squeezes my hand. "How soon? Today? Tomorrow, this week?" Bruce insists; I see in his eyes that, even though he has sort of accepted it, he is still terrified for my life. "Tomorrow evening," I answer. "If we get everything arranged," Dex adds. "This won't just be the first time I change someone; it will be the first time in the last 50 years. Preparations are necessary." The others nod in agreement.
He starts rattling off the necessary preparations. His voice is calm and controlled. Focused, just like during the battle briefing. He assigns the tasks as if they were nothing. If you didn't know anything about it, you wouldn't think we are going to make preparations for something that might end my life.
Strangely enough, it actually makes me feel safer.
The rest of the day passes slowly. It is easier to arrange everything in the packhouse, so after the tasks were divided, we all headed towards the packhouse. While Dex and the others set everything in motion, I help Beth with the incoming notifications about Alex and Lucy. Claire spends most of her day with the other children present in the packhouse. A trio of older teenage girls practically begged me to let them take her along. I hesitated for a moment at first, but she promised to stay close by, so I agreed. And honestly, this also allowed me to help Beth organize everything better.
"You don't have to worry. The girls often take the little ones under their wing." She says with a little smile when she catches me for the third time, trying to listen to what they are doing. I smile and feel a bit caught.
Dex comes and goes throughout the afternoon. Every time he walks past, he has to touch me. A hand on my shoulder here, a soft caress on my back there. And every now and then, a quick kiss on my cheek or the top of my head.
Every touch sends a warm pulse through the mating bond. At first, I think I'm imagining it, but after the fourth touch, which lasts a little longer, I realize that it isn't the case.
Our bond is changing. It is becoming stronger.
I can sense it better and better. Not just whether he is close or not, but also sudden changes in his mood when he is close enough. I wonder what that will be like when I have changed. Would it be the same then, or would we sense each other even better? That question makes me think back to Brent with question marks. I never experienced this with him. "Penny for your thoughts?" I suddenly hear beside me. Surprised, I look up. I didn't hear or feel it coming. "I was thinking of Brent." He frowns, but probably then realizes that he has nothing to fear from him, and the frown disappears from his face. "Our bond, it's getting stronger. At least, to me it feels stronger," I say, and he nods. "That makes sense, you're wearing my mark," he says. I say nothing and try to hide the blush rising on my cheeks. I feel a bit stupid that I didn't think of that myself.
"So, what has changed for you?" he asks curiously. "I'm starting to sense when you're close." I can't hide the pride I feel as I add that I feel changes in his emotions, too. He chuckles. "Of course, I don't know what it must feel like for a human, but perhaps the bond is also sensing your approaching changes and trying to prepare you in advance. So that you won't be overwhelmed later," he suggests. "Do you think so?" I ask hopefully. If that is the case, it only confirms my suspicion even more.

That evening, after I had put Claire to bed in her new room, I sat on the edge of the bed. Dex was in the shower, and I stared ahead for a bit and fiddled with the sheet.

I almost fell backward when Dex unexpectedly sat down behind me, causing the mattress to sink deeply. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. "Are you scared?" he mumbled. "A little," I said honestly. Not even for myself, but for Claire. The moment I went to put her to bed, the fear crept over me that it was still a possibility I might make her an orphan. And although I am quite sure the bond will help me through this, I can't shake the feeling off.
"Me too," Dex said, pulling me against his chest. "You are the Alpha; shouldn't you be fearless?" I asked jokingly. "Not when it comes to you," he said seriously. His words sent a warm feeling through my body, and I pulled his arms tighter around me. "We have done everything we can to make it as safe as possible," he says, and I nod.