Chapter 25 — Risk

Life is never dull with every risk to take along the twists and turns fate throws. Gambling with every lie and sin on the table, hoping to win the jackpot and become big overnight. Nice people often finish last as what society thinks. The McKenzies were never ones to go beyond social order to win in life—at least that’s what Dad said—sticking to the basics and continuing down the righteous road. The very problem as to why my parents had to divert their attention and become what everyone thought was impossible—become millionaires in one day. Of course, not everyone approved of their methods. There were always those who were complaining, saying it was wrong to take advantage of someone’s weakness and secrets. Perhaps the reason why Cedric had to be careful since I carried the reputation of being a McKenzie since day one.

Yet, my family was still dear to me despite all the wrong things they had done. It was us against the world, and they loved me as much as anyone could ever have. I will never forgive Cedric for what he has done.

“Why aren’t you the owner of the Grand Mari Hotel?”

My voice cut through the silence in the bedroom, the ticking clock too faint for my ears to pick up. The dark blue sky casting its glow through the window, illuminating the dark room weakly. Whether Gerard had awakened or not, both of us didn’t care. He must have run off in fear considering how he hasn’t called the cops. Maybe Cedric woke him up before even meeting me here in the bedroom. Nevertheless, I didn’t have the time to give the driver any attention. What mattered now was the present—in Cedric’s arms, wrapped by his thick blankets as I listened to his beating heart. I couldn’t figure out the answer as to why I haven’t dashed out of the door the chance I got.

I simply don’t want to, I guess. Not yet, at least…

Cedric hummed. The warmth of his body keeping me from shivering at the cool breeze that entered through the windows. “Maintaining the hotel was a bit hard, so I sold it to the Barkleys with the condition of receiving shares.” Gazing down at my impassive face, he grinned. “Why? Were you expecting me to keep it after how much bloodshed it has caused?”

“It was all for naught then, huh?”

He shrugged. “Not necessarily. I mean, it is still there. If you want to own it, I’d gladly purchase it from the Barkleys for twice the amount I gave them.” Running his fingers through my hair splayed out on the pillows, he took a few strands and lifted them to his nose. Taking in the scent of the floral shampoo. “Would you like that?”

The mood quickly heading south, I shook my head to dismiss the idea. The Grand Mari Hotel was out of my reach in the first place and the only reason why I was desperate to keep it was due to my past standing. Now that Cedric was here, there was no point in owning it. Besides, I had no funds nor a reputable background to be the owner. What was once a grand place that has introduced me to plenty of rich fellows and their glittering world, the hotel is nothing but a hellhole that has caused me a great deal. Perhaps it was a good idea to sell it to someone else, yet I wouldn’t tell Cedric aloud.

“Did… Francesca really took her life?”

“She did.”

“Was it because her face is as hideous as her ugly heart?”

Cedric was silent.

“You don’t have to answer that…” Clearing my throat, I went for a different question. “Hattie mentioned that she overheard you calling someone at the party back then. Saying that you were planning to have my family killed in the accident. Was she right?”

“In some way.”

“What about the Richardsons? After what I did to Francesca, they’re not likely to remain silent for long. Especially now that I’ve regained my memories. What did you do?”

“I did what I do best, hushing them up with money.” He responded blatantly as if it was the most obvious answer. “They wanted to kill you, actually. When they realized the car crash didn’t take you along with your parents, they demanded to bring it up to court for your father’s bribe was unacceptable. I simply gave them thrice the amount, to which they agreed to remain in the shadows. George kept up with his lifestyle through the money I gave him.”

“Then… Why did Francesca take her life? That money could’ve been used to fix the damage I have done.” Fiddling with the nail of my finger, I whispered. “She did have plastic surgery done on her nose…”

“But scars don’t always heal, Reese. Apparently, she kept having recurring nightmares the day you poured acid on her. She refused to come out of her room, crying all day until she had enough.” He replied, then laughed lightly. “I can’t believe we’re having this type of conversation after sex. It’s not really…” Trailing off, he rubbed his chin in thought. “What’s the word?”

“Normal?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, it’s not normal. Thanks for providing me the correct word.” Pressing a kiss on my bare shoulder, I bit back a whine when he mixed his teeth in the process. Teeth marks now on the skin. “Well, not that our relationship is the epitome of ordinary. Maybe if it were, it would’ve been boring.”

Eyes narrowed at him, I huffed at his statement. “So, you’d prefer this than to have at least a decent life? If I knew Francesca would have resorted to that, I wouldn’t have poured the acid on her face.” As I spoke the words to defend myself, I couldn’t help the inkling feeling of ill emotions swirling up within. They were there to prove me wrong and tell me that whatever the circumstances were, I would always end up ruining Francesca’s face out of blind jealousy.

“Would you?” Cedric challenged, sporting a smirk.

I shook my head at his reaction. “No wonder… You’re screwed up, Cedric. You really are!” He merely laughed at my observations, tightening his embrace and pulling me against his chest. “I’m not joking. I can’t believe I was dating a crazy man such as you.”

And the murderer of Hattie and my parents. The root of all my problems.

The man who has ruined me, driving me to the abyss and having its pitch darkness look right back.

Realization hit harder than I thought on what I just did. Sleeping with him and loving him without memories was out of my hands, but here I was fully aware of what I was doing. My love for Cedric hasn’t diminished even when I was consumed by hate. And once it settled in, I rolled to the side to hide my eyes tearing up. I put my hand over my mouth as I felt bile rising to my throat, feeling sick to my stomach. My heart wrenched at the reality that I loved my parents’ killer and the undoing of us all.

Rising from the bed with a groan, he stretched his arms while peeking at my naked form. I merely watched him through the faint reflection of him through the glass across me. “I know you love this crazy man. We’re made for each other, after all.”

“No, we’re not.” I sighed, hand running through my hair to calm myself. There was no use beating myself up for my actions. Once karma catches up to me, I will let it do its bidding for I had it coming. “I was stupid back then, but now I’m convinced that we were not meant to be. You and I don’t mix, Cedric. And even if we did, it’s a recipe for disaster. I will leave you, Cedric. You won’t see me again.”

“Don’t even think of leaving me, Reese.” The low tone of his voice implied he was not to be messed with. Clothes rustling filled the silent void ringing in my ears as I laid there, unable to fight back the tears streaming down my cheeks. “You may think I am as hideous as you, but that doesn’t mean you can find someone else to balance out your ugly soul. You don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve to be happy, living the rest of your life carefree while I suffer due to you tainting my soul. You’re such a coward.”

He was suddenly in front of me. My vulnerable state for his eyes to feast on as I struggled to hide my flustered face. Cedric cracked a smile, obviously enjoying see me squirm and powerless underneath him.

“Don’t be sad, though. You have me after all, Reese. You won’t end up lonely like dead Hattie.” Walking away, I quivered underneath the blanket as I watched him go. Expecting him to leave immediately, he halted on his tracks by the doorway to glance back at me. “And if you ever had the thought of running away, I will haunt you down to the ends of the earth and drag you back here. We shall get married and you will be a Dixon. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

The moment he disappeared; I clenched my knuckles as I fought back a sob. Cedric had me right where he wanted me—trapped and reliant on him. The chances of getting caught all the time was a hundred percent, especially now that he has the money and influence. Cedric Dixon has indeed grown from when I first met him, becoming more lethal and dangerous to his enemies. A savior and a god to those who are his allies. I have brought this upon myself, and I will be the one to end this.

I’d rather die than end up living with him forever.

***

Gathering pieces of evidence against Cedric’s nefarious deeds was as difficult as catching a ghost. However, secrets can never be hidden for too long. Writing a letter to testify he has killed my parents and Hattie were in order, sealing it in a white envelope and having it sent to the newspaper company well known for their interesting articles. Emails were also sent out under my name, hoping that one of the journalists or anyone looking for a quick chance of fame would take it.

Cedric may be monitoring my every move whenever he was around, yet he couldn’t stop me from spilling all his secrets to the public. He may think I wasn’t going to take the risk of imprisonment for what I have done. It was only a matter of time before the Richardsons break their silence and sue me for what I did to their daughter. Hattie’s death will soon come into the light and how she was killed without remorse. Everything will catch up to the both of us, and by that time, I will be long gone. Sending out the last email, I cracked my knuckles and heaved a sigh in defeat.

I’ll just pray I won’t run into him once I descend to hell.

There was no other way but to sabotage everything Cedric has built because if I run away, there is no escape. The only option left for me to release myself from his clutches was certain death.

And that evening, I welcomed Cedric home after a long day of running around town in hopes of purchasing what I needed with whatever money I had left. And since Gerard apparently quit his job, Cedric was forced to drive himself around. He didn’t seem to be inconvenienced if it meant he would see me upon returning home.

“What’s the occasion?” Cedric inquired as he sat down at the dinner table. I had salvaged every candle in his almost empty kitchen, lighting them up to create a pleasant atmosphere. The wine was opened and poured into thin glasses. The steak I ordered sitting on a silver platter as if it cost hundreds due to the garnish I managed to make. He was impressed, judging how his eyes widened.

I simply smiled.

“Oh, it’s to celebrate my memories coming back, that’s all. Reese McKenzie, the real one, has returned.”

Cedric grinned. “That’s strange, because you never left at all, darling.” Watching him eat and taste the wine with a pleased expression made me hum in delight. Time passed by so silently as the night fell upon Auburn City. And as the clock ticked, so did Cedric’s head started to bob up and down as he tried to fight off the drowsiness.

“Tired already?”

“Y-yeah, it seems so…” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Rising from my untouched glass, I assisted him up and to his room. Face void of any expression. The soft mattress merely lulled him faster to sleep. Cedric Dixon was soon knocked out, unable to awaken even if a burglar was to come in.

“Good night, Cedric.” Leaning down, I kissed his forehead. The man mumbled unintelligible words in his slumber, lips damp with the wine laced with ketamine. In his sleep, Cedric appeared to be harmless and angelic. But I know better than to think he is one—the man wouldn’t stop for nothing to have whatever he wanted and that includes me. If I don’t stop his greed, these sins will never end. We were both monsters, and together we could have been invincible. However, I would rather be damned than to love a murderer. The man who has taken everything from me, hoping to mold me as a woman whom he can use as a trophy. Always seen, never heard.

I couldn’t live a life like that forever, even if I loved him.

Fixing the blanket and making sure he wouldn’t get bitten by the cold atmosphere, I gazed down on him one last time before leaving his bedroom. The decision now solidified, I pulled out the bottle of arsenic and went to the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses and the bottle of wine that still had some leftovers.

Surprisingly, I didn’t cry as I walked to the library that I haven’t explored yet. Merely because I didn’t care. Upon opening it, there stood a desk and bookshelves filled with unique books. It struck me a bit for Cedric never told me he loved to read nor saw him as the type to immerse himself in literature.

I’ve tried to know you long enough, but you never fail to surprise me, Cedric.

“It’s time for me to put on a show.” Pouring the arsenic into one glass, I watched as it sat there completely unfazed at what I was about to do. After emptying the remaining wine into the two glasses, I started shuffling them around nonstop. Mindlessly let my hands do the work as I sat behind the desk. The leather chair comfortable, making anyone feel important once they used it. Perhaps the reason as to why Cedric bought it.

Minutes passed and soon, I couldn’t tell which glass I poured the arsenic into. Glancing at each one, I giggled to myself. “This is like picking the correct box in a game show to win a prize!” Lifting my hand, I used my index finger to choose for me, jumping from each glass to a tune.

It landed on the glass situated on the right.

I grinned.

“Let’s risk it, shall we?”