CHAPTER 25
Cammy thought that she had been doing a good job at stuffing up her emotions. She had been good at managing to keep her own thoughts at bay but the moment that the woman had spoken up to her it was as though a dam had been burst open.
She felt her hands shake at her words as she tried to push down the urge to throw up. This was wrong. It was all very wrong . She shouldn't have been here with them and it felt as though she was almost betraying her own daughter by being here with them.
She felt her eyes moisten as fresh tears threatened to run down her cheeks. Her lip wobbled and she was only pulled out of her thoughts when she felt
A hand reaches out for her own and squeezes it lightly. She let out a sigh from her lips as she plastered on a fake smile.
“Thank you.” River said to the woman and they watched as she nodded her head at them before they made their way past security. “Okay bud the two of us are going to have our own little shopping experience so you're going to go and have some fun at the playground for now and we will come and get you later”. River said to him and she watched as he pouted slightly but nodded his head.
She was glad when they finally dropped him off at the children's playground and she had thought that River would say something but he remained quiet. In Fact he was too quiet and she had told herself that it wasn't something for her to worry about but it felt odd.
“Okay what is wrong with you”. She asked him in frustration as they began to walk away. She watched as he turned toward her and stared at her with a raised eyebrow. “Are you serious? What is wrong with me? You're the one that has been acting strange, not me, do you not see how you are hurting Jackson.” He asked her.
Cammy felt her jaw tick at his words. She didn't want to have to lash out on him but whenever he brought up the child it seemed to set off something inside of her. She had been through far too much in the recent days and she had been forced to face more experiences than they had in a long time.
She was still healing from her own troubles. Trouble that he had no idea of. He would never know what it was like to lose a child alone the way that she had. He would never feel the same amount of pain and anguish that she did.
“You have no idea what you are talking about. You don't know what I have been through. You don't know what I experienced”. She said to him coldly.
She watched as emotions flashed through his eyes and she wished that he would stop there or that even for a second he would consider regretting his words but he didn't. “No, I know what it feels like to have to let someone go and I know that I have hurt you. My wolf hasn't allowed me to forget that. He continued to remind me of what I did to you every single day so don't for a second think that I don't know how you are feeling because I do.” He said to her.
"but that is what you don't understand. All that pain and that grief you claim to go through. You were the cause of it. You are the one that put yourself through it. It wasn't me. All the pain that I have been forced to endure was because of you and yet now you expect me to act like none of it ever happened, you pretend as though I can play with all of this even though we both know I am not”. She said to him in a raised tone.
She watched as his eyes swirled with emotions as he gulped and sucked in a deep breath. “But what i don't understand is what Jackson had to do
With all of this. You can take it out on me all
You want but you can't blame him for any of this because it wasn't his fault. He didn't do any of this wrong”. He said to her in a pleasing tone.
She was quiet because she knew that was true but she wasn't about to admit it to him and she wasn't ready to tell him the real reason that she was so hard on Jackson. It hurt her to know that. “Can we just get this over with. It is bad enough that you are forcing me to be here and to spend time with you and your son but we do not have to make small talk and we do not have to pretend or act as yhough ee are friends as we both know that is a lie”. She said to him coldly.
She watched as he appeared as though there was more he wanted to say to her. She hoped that he would not bother because the truth was that hasn't sure that she could handle it without having another complete and utter breakdown. She had been strong for long enough and she was done trying to be tough.
The first store that they went to was for corporate clothes. She only chose items bluntly as she didnt want to spend too long there. But when she got to the counter to pay he shook his head at her as he insisted that he would be the one to pay for her. This frustrated her and she tried to argue back with him but he wasn't having it.
After that she was more than ready to leave. She didn't want any more of his hand outs and it was clear that no matter how many times she hinted to him that he was intent on simply ignoring her wishes and doing what he wanted.
"i thought girls liked this stuff. Why can't you simply allow me to spoil you?” He asked her. “Because we are not together and if you have seemed to forgotten i don't particularly like you. The truth is that the last place that i would want to be right now is here with you. So you should be grateful that I am even able to manage a civil conversation with you”. She said to him.
She had expected hit to react or to show any sort of offense. Something to make him feel the way that she did but she got none, instead he smirked at her. “You know I am aware of what you are triyng ro do. You think that by insistently trying to push me away that I will grow bored and Stop trying but there is something that it seems you are still yet to understand and that is the fact that. No matter how hard you try to push me, I will push back harder.
I won't give up on us.” He said.
She smirked as she leaned in close to his ear and whispered. “I think that is pathetic.”