Chapter 43

After I met with Lexi two days ago I had somehow felt better about this whole pregnancy thing. I had tried getting myself to fully accept the fact that this has happened. Lexi may not even know it but her telling me about her personal experience had totally helped me to put things into perspective more. I had half a mind running away before but then I remembered how that had turned out for my Mom. When she got pregnant with me, she was so scared that she ran away from her family and for twenty two years, she hadn't been able to see or contact any of them. That almost took a toll on her and even though she never talked about them before I knew she must've missed them like crazy.

Fortunately, she was able to reunite with them and have the opportunity to meet her nieces and sister in law and catch up with the family. I didn't know if I would be that lucky. And running away now because of what had happened, would mean running away from mom. I don't think I would be able to part with her just like that. Even though I had decided that I may not be staying around Lucas for much longer if things didn't turn out the way that I hoped it would. I still hadn't told anyone about it, not even mom or Katie and Nora. I still needed to gather more confidence and courage to spit it out.

In a couple of nights, it would be mom's staff party and I didn't want to spoil things by dropping a bomb like that on her before the party. I had finally made up my mind to tell her but I was waiting until after the party to let her know. I was so nervous and anxious about tonight even if it was still a few hours away. Even Marcos had called me telling me he wanted us to have a father daughter lunch together. Usually I'd blow him off with some excuse why I couldn't make it but I decided that he was really trying so why not give him a chance. Maybe I should give him a chance to show me that he could be a great father even if he was late by twenty two years. I had agreed to meet him for lunch. He wanted to pick me up, I told him that I could get to the restaurant on my own.

I had gotten dress in a simple white floral dress and black wedge sandals and grab my things to leave. I still had Lucas's car keys-he told me to keep them so I wouldn't have too much problem getting to and from wherever I wanted to go.

"Oh Amy you look so nice." Greta smiled at me.

"Thanks Greta." I smiled back at her. "I'm meeting my father for lunch."

"Oh that's great. I still can't believe that Marcos is your Dad. What a small world huh?" Greta replied.

"I know right. I'm just glad I figured out soon though and hadn't like gotten involved with even Carter unknowingly because that would be just terrible." I chuckled. "Anyway, I've got to go before I'm late."

The drive to the restaurant where we were meeting wasn't long since there wasn't much traffic. I got to the restaurant and parked quite easily without much issue, before making my way inside to meet Marcos. I was honestly surprised and disappointed seeing he also brought Adena since she was also sitting at the table with him.

"You've got to be kidding me Dad. We're having lunch with her?" Adena asked just as surprised as I was."If I had known. Dad you said we were..."

"I said that because I know you'd be stubborn enough not to show up." Marcos replied. "I needed the both of you here today."

"You know I really feel like leaving."

"Well why don't you? I'm not too happy about this little set up myself." I said to her cutting her off before turning to Marcos. "Hi. I thought when you said you wanted us to have a father and daughter bonding lunch, that meant just the two of us. You and me. I didn't know you meant father and daughters."

"Work with me here please Amy. Both of you." He said to me. "This sudden rift between the two of you is stupid."

"She started it," Adena whined like a child. "She is the hypocritical backstabber here."

"What are you five?" I scoffed. "I'm not a hypocritical backstabber because it's not like we were friends and I took something that belonged to you. I hardly know you."

"I told you that I liked Lucas and yet you played nice with me, told me you were going to find out for me if he was into me then I found out you were screwing him." She threw at me.

"I was being nice. I didn't want to hurt your feelings and let you know that Lucas had no intention of screwing you like you wish because we already were." I snapped back.

"Stop it!" Marcos voice roared silencing the two of us. "I don't want to hear another word of this crap from either of you. The two of you arguing because of a guy, do you realize how stupid you sound?"

"You know what? I'll leave. I didn't come all the way here for this." I said standing up.

"Sit down." Marcos commanded causing me to raise a brow at him.

Who did he think I was? Adena? Does he think he have the authority to tell me what to do just because he found out he was my father? He must be crazy or something.

"Please sit Amy. I invited you to have lunch with me, so we could try to bond and get to know each other more and that's exactly what we are going to do. All of us. Now can you both put aside your issues and let us have a civil lunch?" Marcos said once again.

"Okay," I sighed before sitting back down. "I'll do this."

"Adena?" Marcos turned to her before signaling the coming waitress to give us a minute.

"Yeah okay, whatever." Adena nodded.

"Good. All this fuss and argument over a guy is stupid. You may not have been aware before and aren't close but the two of you are both my daughters-you're sisters and I want you to be civil with each other." Marcos replied. "Adena, we all know you've liked Lucas for a while now and it must suck seeing him with another girl who isn't you but you seriously need to get over it. Lucas and Amy are seeing each other now and if he was into you the way you're into him, then you would have known. He would have made a move with you and he didn't. And Amy you might got his interest but doesn't mean you should rub it in."

"I've never done that. Or I wouldn't have to if she wasn't accusing me and keep trying to put me down." I replied. "I don't have anything against her, but I'm going to speak up and defend myself. I don't know if she could say the same."

"I wouldn't have anything against you if you just told me that you liked Lucas too. I asked you if the two of you were seeing each other and you denied it. You should have just told the truth instead of lying." Adena responded.

"I couldn't tell you yes because that wasn't the nature of our relationship. I'm sorry things haven't worked out the way you wanted but you need to let it go now." I replied.

"I'll..."

"Alright, now that you both got that off your chest. Enough with the guy talk and arguing for now please. " Marcos replied before waving over a waitress.

"Hello again, are you guys ready to order now?" The girl asked with a smile.

"Yeah we're ready." Marcos replied before motioning us to order first. "Adena, Amy?"

I made sure to order something that I was familiar with and didn't think would upset my stomach now that I was more vulnerable for that happening. The rest of the lunch went on well without any more quarrel from Adena and I. Surprisingly, Marcos had gotten her to agree to quit the foolishness and be civil with each other. I had no problem doing just that if she would know her place and would be willing to do the same.

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Another week passed, and I had kept this secret. I had been trying to mentally prepare myself to tell someone else. I had also been trying so hard to act normal and not weird that people would start noticing anything.

Tonight was the night of the staff party that mom invited me to at her workplace. One of mom's friend and coworker was driving us to and from the party. Mom's friend Omar was actually around mom's age too, he was the head chef at the restaurant. When mom introduce us, she said he was a good friend but somehow I think there was more to that story. He and Mom obviously liked each other, but I guess the two were scared or shy to pursue things any further.

Somehow Omar seemed like a nice guy so far. He was divorced and had sole custody for a ten year old son which seemed to be a handful but was sweet differently. And Omar seemed to be a great Dad too. I think that mom and him would be good for each other if they should ever become involved. After all, it had been years and I think it was time mom finally got back out there in the dating world again- if she found a good guy.

Mom was wearing a black dress with black heels and I had worn a peach colored dress with white blazer and nude peep toe heels. The party was really nice and I had gotten to meet some more of mom's coworkers and their families. One coworker even tried setting me up with her son. The guy wasn't bad looking but he was a year younger than me and still in college.

Over all, he just wasn't my type. I already had eyes on someone else and besides I wasn't necessarily prize winning date material right now, especially carrying another man's child.

"You want champagne Amy?" Omar asked bringing mom and I two glasses of champagnes.

"Thanks Omar but no thanks. I'm not really a drinker." I said to him with a smile. "I've cut back on alcohol consuming. Unless it's nonalcoholic."

I didn't want to risk drinking anything with not even as little as 1% of alcohol since I was pregnant.

"I'll get you something else then." He said.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to..." I tried telling him.

"No, I insist. I'll go get you something without alcohol." He smiled. "I'll be right back."

"So Omar is a really nice guy." I said to Mom.

"Yeah, he is." Mom nodded taking a sip from her champagne.

"And he really seem to like you." I smiled at her.

"We're only friends Amy." Mom said to me.

"What? I didn't say anything. I just stated the obvious." I said innocently.

"But I know what you're thinking and no, we are just friends. I'm done with the dating scene."

"Hmm. For now. Don't miss out on a possible great opportunity just because of men who were stupid in the past." I said to her.

"I got both nonalcoholic champagne- grape flavoured and apple." Omar returned with two more glasses. "I wasn't sure which one you would like."

"You know what? I'll just take both if you don't mind." I chuckled before looking over at mom. "Thank you Omar, you're so nice."

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"Amy, whatever it is you have to tell me can't be that bad, can it?" Mom said to me as I tried preparing myself to tell her my secret.

"I don't know, it all depends on how you take it." I replied.

I had told her that I needed to tell her something when we got home from her work staff party. I didn't want to keep this to myself for much longer but it was still hard to say.  I still wasn't sure how I should go about it, should I just blurt it out or should I work my way up to it and drop hints?

"Amy, I'm your mother and whatever it is, I think I may be able to take it unless you're going to tell me that you're dying or something. Wait, it's not anything like that is it?"

"No Mom. It's not anything that drastic." I replied.

"Well honey just tell me already, you know you can tell me anything."

"Mom, I'm pregnant." I told her without hesitating. I figured it was best to just get it over with.

"W-what?" Mom asked in shock.

"Yeah." I nodded sheepishly "That's what I've been wanting to tell you and didn't know how."

"Amy? When? How?" Mom asked shaking her head in disbelief.

"See, I knew you'd be upset." I replied.

"No, no I'm not upset, I'm just...surprise that's all. I'm really surprise." Mom said to me. "It's Lucas isn't it?"

I just nodded instead of answering out loud.

"You know, the minute you admitted to liking Lucas and based on a few telltale signs I've noticed, I suspected that there was something going on between the two of you but this? I never expected to hear you say that you're pregnant." Mom said to me.

"It wasn't something I planned."

"Of course not. I know that Amy." Mom responded. "How far along are you?"

"Approximately seven weeks now maybe." I told her.

"Does Lucas know?" Mom asked.

"No." I whispered.

"Amy, is that why you've been so stressed lately? You're scared of telling him? You do know you have to tell him or else it'd be harder if you wait

too long. You don't want to even think about making the same mistakes I did." Mom said to me.

"I don't know how to tell him Mom. Lucas has issues with... we aren't even really in a relationship. How do I tell him that I'm pregnant with his child?" I said to her. "How is he going to react to that news? I can't tell him."

"You're almost two months pregnant. He's the father of your child Amy and if you plan to keep that baby-which you better be- he deserves to know." Mom said to me. "Trust me, you do not want to make the same mistakes I did. You of all person should know that no child should be denied the opportunity of knowing both parents. Especially if they would be willing to know their kid too. And no, don't try to come up with anymore excuses. You don't know what he's going to say or how he's going to feel and react unless you let him know."

"I'm just so scared about this and even more, I don't know how to tell him. I don't want him thinking that I somehow planned this to get him stuck to me or something." I sighed.

"I know exactly how you feel Amy." Mom said reaching for my hand. "Trust me, I've been there before but you can't keep this to yourself. If he is the father he has a right to know. Tell him, and then see how he reacts after. You can't and won't know how he feels about it unless you tell him. And just know that whatever the outcome, you won't be alone in this."

"Thanks Mom. I don't know what I'll do without you." I said hugging her. "I love you mom."

"I love you more sweetheart." Mom said hugging me tightly before chuckling. "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma. This is so exciting. My baby girl is going to have a baby."

"Yeah." I nodded chuckling too now. "It's so strange. I had no idea you'd be this happy about this news."

"Are you kidding? I'm about to become a grand mom what else should I be if not excited and happy?"

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This was becoming more real as the days go on. I was more aware of my pregnancy now more than ever. I was starting to feel extremely tired now more often, and then there was the fatigue, the boob tenderness and a mass of other pregnancy symptoms minus the morning sickness-which I was thankful hadn't come yet. I was not sure how I would be able to continue hiding the fact that I was pregnant if that started. 

Being two months along, I was still the only one who knew this- well that's except for mom. She was the only other person who knew. I hadn't even told Katie and Nora about it as yet even though we hung out quite a number of time since I found out. I was still trying to get use to the idea of becoming a Mom.

Mom had been trying to convince me to tell Lucas about it but every time I remembered how he was, and that he obviously still had issues, I know I couldn't break such news to him right now. I was scared of what his reaction would be.

I was already having a hard time being around him. Every time that he touched me, it was like I froze. It just felt so awkward. And then the next issue was when I was trying to be intimate with him and relax at the same time. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, it was like I had a fear of sleeping with Lucas. It was like I stupidly believed he'd be able to tell. But that wasn't all, Lucas and I had already came to a mutual and natural understanding of sleeping with each other before but now that I was pregnant, I felt so guilty watching him get the condoms. What was that going to do now? What was it going to protect against? I was clean and I could assumed that Lucas was clean because I had came to realize that Lucas wasn't careless enough to leave himself unprotected to catch anything. So the only thing we would be protecting against would be me getting pregnant, which somehow already happened.

How could I tell this to Lucas? And I couldn't just stop sleeping with him like that without it raising some suspicions or something. I just felt like I was in a really bad place. One night Lucas was trying to be intimate with me, and for the first couple minutes I had allowed him and also reciprocate his advances- you know, returning his kisses and touches- but even though things were somewhat going smoothly, it was up until the time when Lucas was pulled out a condom package that I literally freaked out and got out of the bed. I know Lucas had been getting suspicious by my actions but when he mentioned it, I lied to him telling him that I just had a bad flashback of when I was still working at Alfredo's. He seemed to buy it for the time and didn't press the discussion any further but how long was I going to be able to keep this up and keep this secret? If I couldn't find it in myself to tell Lucas about what had happened, I had to try get him to allow me to leave. I didn't think I could do this secret thing anymore. Lucas wasn't stupid and pretty soon he was going to put the pieces together. I knew that mom's family so wanted us to fly out to Barbados for a while, and I was actually considering it. I had told mom about it but I just needed Lucas to allow me to go without any issues.

I was currently serving drinks at the club and I wasn't feeling too good right now. I was feeling tired and a bit dizzy.

I decided to go get some air after serving the last sets of liquors. I went through the side door and went out back where most employees would go to smoke. Fortunately for me, no one was out here. I sat on a bench that was out there before leaning my head back trying to ease the dizzy and nauseous feeling.

"Everything alright with you?" I heard someone asked causing me to jump a bit with fright.

"Gio? Oh uhm... Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just got a bit lightheaded for a second in there. Inside is a bit uh...stuffy." I replied after looking up and seeing him.

What was he doing out here? Did he follow me or something? Wait, if he saw me and followed me out here did that mean that Lucas was here also and may possibly be coming outside too?

"Uhm, is Lucas..." I asked looking towards the door.

"He's not here." Gio told me before coming to stand in front of me. "Are you sure you're alright? You don't look okay, and I've noticed this some days ago."

"I'm sure, Don't worry I'm okay." I nodded which was probably a bad idea because I was suddenly more dizzy and felt as if I was going to throw up any minute now.

This wasn't good, I couldn't allow Gio to see this. He would definitely pick up that I really wasn't fine.

"Right now, you're my employee and if you're sick and not feeling well, I have to be concern because that'll affect your work. I have to be concerned about my employees' health." Gio replied. "So if you're not feeling well, you tell me."

"No I'm okay now, I'll be right back in in a second." I said trying to get rid of him as quickly as possible.

No doubt that vomit was coming up any minute now.

"Amy, you look like you're turning blue." Gio said to me.

"Oh no..." I groaned before getting up and running over to one of the corners with trashcans and spilling everything out my stomach.

As I bent over slightly throwing up, I felt my hair being gathered and pulled back from around me. As I was sure that everything was out, I spit trying to get whatever left out of my mouth before standing up straight. Gio handed me a handkerchief before letting go of my hair.

"Thanks." I said to him as I took it and wiped my mouth.

"I don't know who you think you're fooling Amy but I'm not one of them. I know when a person isn't feeling well and I have a wife who often tries to convince me she's feeling alright when she isn't." Gio said giving me a look which made my heart skipped a beat before started racing.

It was like he was telling me he knew everything that was going on with me without actually saying the words. And that scared me. He couldn't know. If he knows then Lucas knows.

"I guess I was feeling sick from that shrimp dish I ate earlier." I tried playing it off ."It's probably bad shrimp but I'm okay now, promise."

"I'm taking you home, come on." Gio said to me before going towards the door we had came out through.

"Wait, but I drove Lucas's car here. I can't leave it." I told him.

"You don't worry about that, just give me the keys and it will be at the apartment." Gio said to me. "You're not exactly in any condition to work anymore tonight or drive home."

I felt uneasy with Gio driving me back. I was still scared of him but that wasn't the situation now why I was feeling uneasy. It was more because of the things he was saying to me, like he could see right through me and knew what was going on with me. I was probably paranoid  but I couldn't help feeling that Gio had already figured me out and somehow knew about my pregnancy secret. The worst part about this too was the fact that he hadn't really said the words 'I know' or anything so I couldn't try to explain or deny anything.

Gio even told me about Lexi's first pregnancy and how it was his fault why she lost that baby all because he didn't know and allowed anger to overpower him. Lexi had told me about that but she had never really gone into details or told me that it was Gio's fault. While he told me all those things, I felt as if he was somehow telling me that he was aware about my pregnancy secret. And that if I difn't want things to go like it did with Lexi I should tell Lucas or something. I wasn't sure but that was the impression I got, which made me believe now that I was more paranoid than I thought.

"Thank you for taking me home Gio." I said to him once we were at the apartment complex.

"Amy, there are certain things you can't just keep to yourself. Especially when it comes on to you and you're health- how you're feeling." Gio said seriously. "If you're not well and there is something going on with you, I suggest you tell someone. Lucas is there, you can tell him too. I'm sure he's not as bad or heartless as you think."

"Okay," I nodded. I couldn't help but think that there was a double meaning to what he says. "Thanks again. Tell Lexi I said hi."

"Yeah. Carter is dropping off the car and keys later." He said to me.

"Alright." I nodded before opening the car door. "Goodnight Gio. Bye."

As soon as I was in the apartment, exhaustion came down on me. All I could do was take a quick warm shower before getting dress and going to bed.