Chapter 43

I had gone over it in my head over and over. I was so close to start plucking off rose petals to come up with the final decision 'tell him?' or 'tell him not'. I hadn't thrown up again from the night at the club when Gio took me home but I was still feeling sick. I knew the longer I waited, the harder it was going to be to hide it from Lucas. So I decided I was going to tell him tonight and get whatever rage he was going to dish out at me out of the way sooner. Summoning what little courage I could find, I made my way to his office and knocked on the slightly ajar door.

"Come in." I heard him answered.

"You can do this Amy." I said to myself before letting out a shaky breath then entering.

"Hi," I smiled at him as I entered.

"Hey," he replied looking up at me. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, yeah everything is good." I nodded giving him a smile.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay now." I nodded "I was wondering if you were busy."

"Not really." Lucas said digging through one of the table drawers. "What's up?"

"Oh... Uhm, I wanted to know if you had time to talk" I said to him.

"Talk?" Lucas asked looking back at me.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I wanted to tell you something."

"Alright. Are you going to do so standing?" Lucas asked me.

"Oh yeah...no I just wanted to know if you had the time first." I said sitting down.

"So what's on your mind?" Lucas asked as he placed two guns on the table in front him and what looked to be a cleaning kit.

Seeing those guns in front of him on the table made me more nervous all over again. I had a lot of unpleasant experience with guns including one where I had witnessed my first real boyfriend getting killed. And the others all include Lucas, so I wasn't exactly calm or comfortable with seeing them out right now.

"You know what? Maybe...maybe I should come back another time." I said nervously standing up again.

"Come here." Lucas said noticing my nervous state after seeing the guns.

"Lucas I don't think..." I tried coming up with an excuse but Lucas cut me off.

"Amy come over here." Lucas said more commandingly.

Letting out a breath, I walked over to him slowly and hesitantly. The minute I was in front of him, Lucas patted his lap telling me to sit. Nervously and hesitantly, I sat on his lap sideways. As I sat down, Lucas reached over and took up one of the gun from the table. Having the gun this close to me had me breathing harder than before.

"Hey, relax." Lucas whispered near my ear before taking my hand and putting the gun in it.

"Lucas no, I don't want to..."

I tried protesting and tried to pull away my hands but Lucas closed his hands over mine causing the gun to be trapped between them.

I had no choice but have to be holding the gun in my hands like I was going to fire it.

"The only way for you to get over your fear is to conquer it." Lucas said to me. "The gun can't harm you on it's own. Now it's in your hands, you have control over what it does or what it can do. So just relax okay."

Trying to get my breathing under control as I watched the gun held in my hands, I tried to calm down.

"Now learn to conquer your fear." Lucas said to me. "See, the gun won't harm you if it isn't pointed at you or loaded."

As he said that, he took out the loaded magazine and rest it on the table leaving me with the empty gun in my hands. Even though I was still scared of it, I felt much better knowing it wasn't loaded.

"What did you want to talk about?" Lucas asked caressing my hip.

"Uhm, can we talk about it another time?" I said to him.

I no longer had the confidence or courage to tell him what I had planned to before. I just couldn't bring myself to do it anymore.

"No, something is bothering you and you should tell me since you brought it up." Lucas said to me.

"Can I... Can I just put this down out of my hands?" I sighed as I put the gun back on the table.

"Amy, what's on your mind?" Lucas asked holding my chin and turning my face towards his.

"I don't want you to get mad." I said to him nervously not meeting his eyes.

"Why would I be mad?" Lucas asked me.

"I just... Please don't get mad." I said to him. "I want to leave."

"What?" Lucas asked in a frightening manner.

"When my grandparents were here, they told me I should feel free to visit them and the other family members back in Barbados." I told him. "I think I would like to take them up on that offer."

"Why now?" Lucas asked me seriously as he searched my face.

"I... I just think it's time I go for a visit and meet the other people in the Stewart's family. And I never travelled before, I just think it would be nice to go." I said to him.

"And your mother would be going with you?"

"No, it would be just me." I said to him.

"And how long would you stay? A couple days? A week?" Lucas asked me.

"I don't know. Maybe a while." I said to him.

"A while?" Lucas asked his voice obviously getting angry now. "Amy what's the real deal with you?"

"What? I'm not sure what you mean." I said to him as I stood up from his lap.

"You know exactly what I mean Amy. This obviously isn't just about you wanting to go visit your family. There is more to it." Lucas said to me.

"Lucas that's not..."

"Amy, do you think I'm stupid or something? I've been noticing how different you've been acting lately." Lucas said to me. "At first you couldn't get enough of me and then you started acting distance and start freaking out every time I touch you. And now you want to leave? Tell me what is that about?"

"I told you it's nothing. I've just had a lot on my mind." I said to him.

"Enough that you're now running scared of me?" Lucas asked. "Quit telling me bullshit and tell me what's really going on with you!"

"So what Lucas? I'm still your prisoner so I'm not even allowed to want to go out? I cant have an adventure or any freedom!?" I snapped at him.

"You and I both know that there's more to it than that."

"Lucas I don't want to be your prisoner anymore. I've been coping with it for months now and I've dealt with it because I didn't want you getting mad at me but I can't take it anymore okay!? I need my freedom! And you need to grant it to me because honestly as much as you've saved my ass more than once and you've been so good to me -which I really appreciate- you don't own me!"

"So that is it huh?" Lucas asked letting out a humourless laugh which chilled me to the core. "You're tired of putting up with me now so you want to leave?"

"Yes. I can't stay here with you any longer. I want to go. I need to go." I said to him. "It's like you're so consumed with the thought of always having control. You enjoy having that control over me but I can't handle it anymore, I'm sorry."

"Alright." Lucas said to me. "I'm not going to be the one to put you out and I'm not going to be holding you back anymore like I usually would. I trust you know not to be stupid. You should know what to and not to do by now. If you want to go, then go but just know that I won't be running after you to save your ass when you run into trouble."

"Don't worry. I think I'll be able to save my own from now on." I said to him.

It hurt me to make this decision but I had to do this. I couldn't be around Lucas much longer and keep this secret and I don't think he was ready to know the truth. It was best if I did leave.

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I think I may have hurt Lucas's feelings with what I told him about me wanting to leave. It had been two days now since I've told him that and I have been trying to sort out my flight details and ticket to Barbados and I haven't seen Lucas since. He didn't come home but I knew he was alright because I heard Greta talked to him on the phone and may have glimpsed him at the club the other night when I showed up for work.  It somehow still hurts to know that Lucas hadn't really put up much of a fight in getting me to stay when I told him I was leaving.

Even though I didn't want him trying to stop me from leaving, him putting up a fight would have made me feel like he really cared. Mom had been upset with me too for not telling Lucas the real reason why I was leaving. She didn't want me to make the same mistakes she did by running away, but it wasn't like I haven't told her or anyone I was leaving or where I was going. I was going to visit my grandparents and other relatives in Barbados in a few more days and it was not like I was planning to live and not coming back. It was just for a while. I couldn't get a sooner flight to Barbados that was why I was still here at Lucas's apartment and even though he told me that he wasn't going to be the one to put me out, I still wanted to be out of there before he got back.

He hadn't been home in days and I had a feeling that it was because of me. I was thinking of going to stay with Katie and Nora for the time until it was my time to go but I wasn't up for all the questions I know would've been thrown out at me. I could have gone to stay with mom as well but it was still Lucas's apartment complex and also the fact that Mom was upset about me wanting to run off, she'd be trying to convince me not to and I didn't want to argue with her.

I wanted to go visit the doctor one last time before my flight to check if everything was alright with the baby and if it was okay to fly. I know probably should've done that before the flight was booked and everything but I was just so caught up in a moment and wanting to get away, that I never thought of that before. If it wasn't for mom telling me that, I wouldn't even remembered or thought about doing that. I had decided to give up Lucas's car, if we weren't exactly on good terms and I was planning to leave him, I didn't think it would be fair for me to still be enjoying the luxury and comfort of his things. So I left the keys back at the apartment and decided to take a taxi.  Because I didn't really have an appointment with the doctor, I had to wait a bit longer before I got through. She had done a few more tests and ultrasound and reassured me that the baby seemed to be doing fine and it was okay to fly as long as I take it easy and made sure to take the vitamins. She even told me to guarantee everything is alright after I've reached my destination and settled in.

Before leaving the doctor's place, I went to use the bathroom down the hall. Somehow a few days ago I was starting to pee a whole lot more often than usual. I had told the doctor about that and she assured me that it was something natural for pregnant women. Even though it more often happened to those who are further along than I am, it was still natural. The urge to pee often was as a result of the baby resting near to the bladder or something like that. As I looked at myself in the mirror as I washed my hands, I didn't miss just how tired I looked and the slightly dark circles under my eyes. For the past two days, I had barely gotten enough rest. I was up most of the time just thinking or feeling a bit too uneasy to fall asleep.

Drying my hands with the paper towel and throwing it in the bin, I made my way out of the bathroom to exit the building and go get a taxi back home.

Walking out the door, I almost crashed into the back of a guy who chose to stop right outside the doors. Even though he was in wrong for stopping in the way and paying attention to his phone, I still apologized out of natural instincts to do so.

"Sorry it's my fault." The guy replied as well turning around.

Upon seeing who it was and the cast on his nose, my eyes widened in fear before I decided to get away immediately. I wasn't going to stick around to chat with him.

"Well look who it is." Seagal chuckled. "I see we meet again sweetheart."

I hurried down the steps wanting to get away as quick as possible. It was moment like this that I regret not taking Lucas's car, I could just hopped straight in right now and drove away.

"Wait up. Why are you so eager to get away from me now? No longer interested to have conversation with a guy with a broken nose?" He said following behind me.

Oh crap. Taxi, come quick please.

I took out my phone from my pocket and pretended to be dialing someone as I tried getting as far away from him as possible. I just hoped a taxi could swing by any minute now but by the looks of it, that was not happening.

"The least you can do is say hi and apologize for this you know." He said roughly grabbing my arm. "You're the one who caused this when you made your new boy toy slugged me in the face when you overreacted that night at the club."

"Let go of me!" I sneered pulling away from him. "You deserved it. Now don't touch me again or you may end up with more than just a broken nose!"

"Oh, so that's how it is sweetheart." Seagal let out a laugh. "You're all cocky and over confident now huh? I don't see anyone else around with you now if I should take back revenge for what happened to me."

Hearing his threat and know just how crazy he was, my eyes widened and I decided to get further away from him. He was right, I had no one with me right now to defend me and everyone passing by was minding their own business. As I tried to hurry away from him, he grabbed my arm pulling me back to him roughly.

"Let me go!" I screamed trying to get out of his grip.

"I ought to teach you a lesson for being so damn cocky." He said dragging me with him.

"Help! Let me go!" I screamed fighting him and hoping someone would stepped in but it was like everyone was walking so fast and minding their own business.

"Shut up!" He said trying to cover my mouth but I bit his hand. "Bitch!"

That caused him to let go off me briefly allowing me to run. I had my phone in hand and Lucas was on speed dial, somehow he's the first person my mind told me to call. I was running with the phone at my ear and just as it started ringing on the other end I was caught and pulled back and my phone being ripped out of my hand. I was then rewarded with a fierce slap across the face causing me to stumble. Somehow the force of the slap caused me to fall and hit the side of my head onthe pavement disorientating me. I tried squinting my eyes trying to get rid of the pain and sudden dizziness I now felt. I felt my body being lifted off the sidewalk and I could hardly recognize or keep track of what was going on around me. Somewhere far off, I heard someone mumbled something as the urge to fall asleep took me over.

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**Lucas's POV**

"Are you guys stupid or something, I ordered well done steak not this rare shit or whatever this is!" I snapped at the waitress who had brought me the food. "If I wanted raw meat I would go straight up and bite a damn cow!"

"Mr. Ackles I'm so sorry. I..."

"I don't want excuses, you all need to listen damn well when people make their order and not mess it up and bring them shit after." I said to her. "You know what..."

"Alayne, go get Mr. Ackles what he ordered and make sure the chefs get it right this time." Gio said to her shooing off the frightened looking girl.

At this time, I could care less that she seemed ready to have an heart attack as I spoke to her. They've all been working here too damn long to be making such stupid mistakes. Usually I would have a bit more patience but today wasn't one of those days.

"What's up with you?" Gio asked raising a brow. "For the past couple days you've been more snappy than usual."

"Nothing is wrong with me." I said to him. "Never been better."

"Considering that you were always been short tempered and it's now ten times worst, you've been snapping at everybody and some of the guys more, I'm concerned. This must be triggered by something, so if you can't talk about it you better get yourself together before this attitude starts affecting your job."

"Gio I said I'm good. My mood has never affected any of my jobs before, not in the business world or being your underboss and it's not going to start affecting it now, so relax." I said to him. "I'm always capable of doing whatever task is at hand, so if we're here to discuss business let's just get right to that."

"Have you spoken to..."

Before Gio could finished his question, my phone started ringing. Fishing it out from my pocket, I looked at the screen to see incoming call from Amy. So now she decides to call? What did she want now? To let me know that she's about to go board her plane? I didn't know why hearing her said that she wanted to leave surprised me. I just wasn't expecting that after everything and the progress that seemed to happen between us. I wasn't going to try to hold her against her will anymore. If she wanted to leave then I'd let her leave. If she didn't want to be with me anymore, there was no way I was going to force her.

"Problem?" Gio asked noticing me looking at the phone still ringing in my hand.

"Amy?" I finally answered the phone but I heard nothing. "Amy?"

"Is something wrong?" Gio asked me as I removed the phone from my ear.

"She hung up." I replied. "Probably just making small effort to let me know she's boarding her plane."

"What? What plane?" Gio asked me.

"She's leaving. The other night she came to me to let me know she can't stay with me anymore. That she wants her freedom and wants to go to her family in Barbados." I said to him. "I haven't stopped her."

"Did she tell you anything else like the real reason she's running away?" Gio asked me.

"I told you she says she wants freedom and apparently sick of me controlling her." I said to him.

"You have to stop her." Gio said to me surprising me.

"What? I'm not going to keep her against her will. I don't think she's going to say anything..."

"That's not it. Call her back now." Gio said to me.

"And say what? That I changed my mind about giving her her freedom?"

I asked sarcastically.

"Lucas, do what I say and try call her back now." Gio said to me.

"Alright, you talk to her when she answers." I said as I redial her number only to be told that the number is currently unavailable. "It's unavailable, probably off."

"She just call you ten seconds ago how could she be unavailable now?" Gio asked.

"It's not ringing anymore."

"History has a funny way of repeating itself." Gio mumbled.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" I asked him.

"It wasn't my place to say anything but I figured you'd rather know now than later." Gio replied. "She's running away because she's pregnant Lucas."

"What!?"