Chapter 88 - Rejecting My Contracted Luna
Emma's POV
After the doctor leaves my room, I take several deep breaths trying to calm my ever growing anxiety. I have mentally made a list of pros and cons of both Ethan and Thomas. I've gone over the list in my head over and over again as I sit in the silence of my hospital room. At the end of each time I review the list I come to the same conclusion and I know the decision that I have to make. A single tear drips down my cheek as I think about breaking one of their hearts. Both are amazing men and neither deserve to have their heart broken.
"Knock, knock," Thomas's gruff voice breaks through my thoughts and I look up to see him standing in the doorway.
"Thomas," I breathe out a sigh of relief that it is him.
Before stepping into the room, Thomas sniffs the air, which causes me to laugh. "Just making sure you are done bleeding," he says before coming into the room.
"I am surprised to see you again so soon," I admit to Thomas.
"My pride is injured," Thomas chuckles to himself. "I am not going to lie. I have put the woman I love in danger twice now. That is not something that I am proud of."
A lump forms in the back of my throat and I swallow hard. "You love me?"
"I do," Thomas looks at me with such sincerity in his hazel eyes that I have to look away. "But that is not why I am here. Well... it is why I am here, but that's not the main reason why I am here." Thomas begins to ramble and I lay my hand on his to try and calm him.
"Why are you here?" I ask, interrupting the word vomit that is spewing from his mouth.
Thomas lays his other hand on top of my own and takes a deep breath. "I think you and I need to have a serious talk."
"I can agree with that," I respond and my chest begins to fill with anxiety.
"The last time we spoke, I was on my knees asking you to spend the rest of your life with me." I open my mouth to interrupt him but he presses his fingers to my lips and shushes me. "Please let me finish. I have practiced this speech over and over again to make sure that I get it right."
I nod my head slightly and Thomas removes his hand from my lips. "I was asking you to spend the rest of your life with me," Thomas starts over. "And there is nothing more than I want in this world is for you to become my chosen mate. Several years ago my fated mate died tragically during childbirth. I was positive that I would never hold the same feelings for anyone else that I held for her. But then I saw you staring at the door the night of the Full Moon Ball. I just knew that you were looking for the same thing that I was."
Thomas hangs his head and tries to compose himself as tears begin to fall down his cheeks. "We were both looking for someone to fill the void of someone that we lost. What I was not expecting was that I would fall in love with you in just a few short days. You are the ray of sunshine that has been shining in my dark void."
"Thomas," my voice is shaking from listening to his kind and loving words. "I have to stop you."
"NO!" He shouts at me. "I have to finish."
I clamp my mouth shut and just blink at his harshness.
"Emma, because I love you, I have to realize that I am not the right mate for you." Thomas says and then he hangs his head in defeat.
"I don't think I understand," I say honestly.
"We both know that I am not the right mate for you," Thomas shakes his head. "When you bleed I am ready to attack you and bleed you dry. I am not strong enough to fight the urge but..." he sighs. "As much as I hate to admit it, Ethan is stronger than me. Hell. I think he may even love you more than I do, which I didn't think was possible."
"So you are letting me go because you love me?" I try to tie everything into a nice little bow.
"Exactly," he breathes out heavily. "I love you but I am wrong for you."
"Oh Thomas. Thank you." I cry as I get to my knees in the hospital bed and throw my arms around his neck. Hesitantly he pats me on the back unsure of what to do.
"You're welcome?" Thomas says in confusion.
"You don't understand how much weight you have taken off of my shoulders. I spent all morning making lists in my mind, trying to pick between the two of you. Every time the two of you came out even. Right before you came inside my room I had closed my eyes and listened to my heart. As much as I care for you, Ethan will always remain in my heart." I explain.
Thomas wipes the tears that are streaming down my cheeks. I throw my arms around his neck. "I didn't want to break your heart," I sob into his shoulder.
"Emma," Thomas whispers my name as he strokes the back of my head. "My heart is still broken. But you didn't break it."
Sniffing back my tears I pull myself away from Thomas and sit back down on my bed. "I didn't?" I choke back more tears.
"No, my Love," Thomas places a kiss on the top of my hand. "My heart has been broken for many years but because of you I now have hope that I can move on and find another. Perhaps the Moon Goddess even has a second chance mate in store for me."
"I know she does Thomas," I say through more cries. "The Moon Goddess has to have another mate waiting for you."
Without another word to me, Thomas kisses the top of my hand once again and leaves my hospital room. I lift up the hem of my hospital gown to see the wounds on my stomach already beginning to knit themselves back together.