Chapter 138 What did he do?

Chapter 138 What did he do?
ELARA’S POV

After he left me alone, I realized it was clear he didn't want to have a conversation with me, at least for now.

I didn't waste any more time in the forest, I made my way back to the palace grounds, got to my room and slept, it had been a long day.

I woke up the next day feeling as if I hadn't slept at all. Well, it might have been because all I kept thinking about was Beros and how the bond had gone cold. I wish I could talk to him, but I would appreciate his need for space now, when he was better and ready to talk, I would definitely make him see that Ioved him more than anything, and that I would keep promise to him, to us.

So, I got out of bed and went about my daily routine as usual, life as a deity wasn't all magic and power as most people thought, we had days like this too. And ontop the way I was feeling, I had to attend the meeting, Alicent had informed me there was some information from where the packs had gathered waiting for instructions after they pledged to fight in the war.

While at the hall, Alicent hadn't arrived yet, it was just Lioren and I, Beros didn't come.

“Is he still pissed at you?” Lioren broke the silence.

“Yes he is” I nodded, letting out a deep breath.

“I'm sure he'll come around, he just feels hurt”

“I hope so, he didn't let me talk to him yesterday” I informed her as I slumped further into my chair. I really didn't want to be here or in this meeting but I had to. I wondered where Beros was.

“Well, maybe he just needs some more time” she said.

“Or maybe he'll never forgive me again” 

Lioren chuckled “you know that's not true, he loves you too much to do that”.

“What if I've hurt him so much that he sees no reason to keep loving me? I mean, I know I made mistakes but –”

“Elara, he loves you, everyone knows that, and no matter how you feel, he knows that too, it's just, sometimes you can be a bit –” she trailed off.

“A bit what?” I asked sharply.

“A bit stubborn Elara” she sighed “You are stubborn”

I narrowed my eyes at her, but she continued.

“We’re all trying to make things work, none of us want Nyxar to win, but sometimes you act as if there's nothing we can do, as if you're the only one that can stop him”

“That's not true”

“It is Elara, you do it. All the time, and we understand you, we do. You have a score to settle with Nyxar, so do we all, you have to let us help you sometimes”

“But I do that, we’re all planning together” I cut in.

“Yeah…..”

“What is it? Tell me” I pushed. She sighed again, what was it with the sighs? I just really Nyxar gone, was it so bad to want such a thing? Didn't these people understand me? Didn't they know how dangerous Nyxar and his black magic was?

“Lioren, tell me” I said again, when she hadn't replied.

She sighed again. I gritted my teeth, yet another sigh.

“Elara, we make plans together, but at the end, you're hell bent on sacrificing yourself, it makes it seem like our plans are for nothing”

I was sure she could see the confused look on my face so she continued.

“For instance, you want to go to the abyss, of all places to just catch Nyxar off guard, putting yourself in utter danger you might not be able to get out of. Doesn't that throw away all the plans we've made? All the allegiance from the wolf packs and the fae clan, doesn't that throw it all away?” she asked.

“But it will save everyone, won't it? If I go there and end it before it begins, there'll be no bloodshed”

“And what's to say you won't pay an even greater price there in the abyss?” she asked.

“How do you want Beros to deal with all of that?” she continued, this time reaching a hand across the table to grab one of mine, forcing me to look into her eyes.

“Elara” her voice was several tones lower this time “Beros waited for three thousand years, we could all see his agony, he couldn't do anything, wouldn't see anyone” she paused. 

“There were times no one would hear from him for hundreds of years, he was a shell of himself, a mask of the deity he once was. He made it his mission to find you and bring you back, even if it took his life, he did…things” my ears perked at that.

“What things?” 

“That is a question you should ask him, no one knows what he did to bring you back, you and I know how long it takes for the reincarnation cycle to be complete, no one knows how long it takes for a deity, or if a deity can even be reincarnated, but he did it all, for you. I think that should tell you why he's so pissed at you risking your life again”

Her words struck something inside me, and it made me remember what Aethon said, Berros had sacrificed something to bring me back, hence tying our souls together, I had never asked what it was. How great would that sacrifice be?

I wanted to say something but Alicent entered the room. I made it a point to ask Beros later, I had to know what he had done, he had to tell me.

“Just try to understand him Elara, try to understand what he went through, the things he endured” and as she said it, she withdrew her hands from me. 

A sudden chill enveloped me, making goosebumps appear all over my arms as the thought burned at the back of my head. What had Beros sacrificed to bring me back here?