Goof
When I heard Silvy’s voice coming into the living room I felt two things. Thrilled that she was willing to talk to me and concerned that I may have woken her up. I’ll make the sleep up to her I vow to myself. Even if I have to stay up with Ant for two days so Silvy I will do it. I will deal with that later. I need to talk to Silvy, beg and get her to take me back. Lilly was right when she said that Silvy didn’t need me. I needed her. I know there is a list of men as long as my arm that would love to take my place. They are just waiting for me to screw up. I can name five off the top of my head. Dez, Lilly’s drummer, for one and I’m sure Lilly would help them hook up. Casper has shown interest. Two doctors at the hospital and a male nurse. I’m sure if I looked into it there are more guys.
Silvy having a baby with me will not be a problem for any guy that knows and wants Silvy. They would gladly step in and be a dad to Anthony. It is up to me to make sure that doesn’t happen. I placed the items I brought on the side of the couch before sitting on the coffee table in front of Silvy. She had just sat up. I can tell she hasn’t been awake long. Her hair is sticking out of her ponytail in different directions. Her eyes are puffy. She had a little drool dried
In the corner of her mouth and pillow impressions on the side of her face. With all of that, she was still the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure to lay my eyes on. I can’t lose her because I am an idiot.
Silvy looks up at me and waits. She isn’t going to say the first word. She shouldn’t have to. She didn’t fuck up. “ Babe, thank you for taking me back,” I said. Silvy holds up a hand. “ I didn’t say I was taking you back. I said I would talk to you.” Silvy told me. Shit, she is right. I just assumed. “I am so sorry. I was an asshole. Am an asshole.” I told her. Silvy just nodded in agreement. Fuck this. I dropped to my knees in front of Silvy, placed my hands on her knees and poured my heart out. “ Silvy, I screwed up. I was so tired I wasn’t thinking. I lashed out. And I shouldn’t have. I was selfish and was only thinking of myself so I left and went to the clubhouse. All I did was sleep, then went to work. I swear.”
When Silvy didn’t say anything just watched me I continued. “ I had intended to come back after I caught up on some sleep. The next thing I knew your dad was walking into the clubhouse with my stuff telling me he changed the locks and never to come here again.” Silvy’s eyes got big and she said softly “ I didn’t know he was going to do that.” “ It is fine, babe. I deserve worse for being a selfish bastard. I wasn’t thinking of what you and Ant were going through. I didn’t know Ant was sick and that you were both having a hard time.” I told her. “I took a break. I thought all my brothers took a break once in a while. Until they set me straight. Babe, I vow to never abandon you or Ant again.” I told her.
“ Goof, I get being tired. Trust me I do. But you said some horrible things and walked out on us. I can’t just forgive that.” Silvy said. I watched as her eyes began to fill with tears she wasn’t going to let fall. I need to let it all out and tell Silvy everything. No more hiding. I let the tears I have been fighting out. I grab her hands “ Babe, please. I will do anything to come home. I will prove to you day in and day out that I will be a better father. On my kutte I will never walk out on the two of you again.” I pleaded.
Now for the moment of truth. What I say next could bite me in the ass or be one of the best moves I have made. “ Babe, please. I love you. I have for a long time. I knew I would have to prove to you I was done with fucking around before you believe me. That is what I have been doing and until recently I thought I was proving I could be a good man to you. And a good father to Ant. I fucked up but I can’t lose you and Ant. I want us to be a family. I want you to be my ol’e lady and wife. I want you to wear my mark, kutte and ring. I want the world to you know you are mine.” I told her.
I watched Silvy's eyes pop open wide and her jaw drop. I can tell she is shocked by what I just told her. I forge ahead while Silvy was listening. “ Everything I have done for the past two years was to show you that I can be the man you need. From giving up the skanks and any other girls for that matter. When you came to me to help you get pregnant I saw it as my in to show you I am the man you need. The only man for you. I was not going to let another man help you have a baby.” I said as I watched a tear roll down her cheek. “ Silvy, I love you with all my heart. You and Ant are my entire world. Please give me another chance. I won’t fuck up this time. I swear. If I do you can have Merigold, Speed and Ailee beat the shit out of me.”
“ Just please give me another chance. I can’t stand the thought of not waking up to you every morning or sleeping with you in my arms every night. The only reason I did it while I was gone was exhaustion. I want to raise Ant with you. Not some co-parent crap. I want to be a full family with you, Ant and any other kids we have. Please, babe, let me come home. Let me be your ol’e man.” I begged. Silvy opened her mouth and closed it several times before she asked the sweetest thing. " You love me?" she asked.
Silvy
I listened to Goof beg for forgiveness and to come home. He begged. The Goof I know would never beg for anything. But he is in my living room, on his knees, begging. I couldn’t do anything but open my mouth so many times I must have looked like a fish and listened. The one phrase that kept going through my mind on repeat was him saying he loved me. So when he asked if he could come home that was all I could ask. “ You love me?” Goof wiped his eyes and smiles. Yes, he was crying as he begged. I could see he was sincere in every word he said. He did regret his actions and I believe he will do his best next time. Or at least think before he acts.
“ More than I can ever tell you. I have loved you for a few years but had my head too far up my ass to do something about it. I swear on my bike and kutte I love you and want to claim you. I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you and that you are the only woman for me.” Goof told me. He loves me. He wants to claim me for his club to know I’m his. He wants us to be a family. To raise Ant and the other kids together. Wait, other kids. I’ll get back to that later.
This is everything I have ever wanted. A good man to love me and grow old with. I wanted the family. I got one with my best friend and one of the greatest men I know. Just as I am about to give Goof my answer I hear Ant’s cry. I stand up and walk over to the portable bassinet we keep in the living room and see a wide-awake and squirming Ant. I check his diaper and change him before picking him up to go settle back on the couch. Goof is anxiously waiting for us. Once I’m settled I carefully turn Ant to look at Goof. “ Look Ant. Daddy’s home.”