Silvy
Telling Micheal the truth wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. He never gave me a look of judgment or pity. He just listened to everything I had to say. Well, most of it. The rest is coming and I think that may be the hard part. When he did get mad it wasn’t at me it was at the shitty guys I was with. “ Babe, I have known you have walls up. I knew that the first time I met you. That didn’t make a difference to me. The closer we got the more I had hoped you would feel comfortable enough to share it with me. I feel privileged that you did. Thank you for that. I get the feeling you have more to say so I will keep quiet.” Goof said. I laughed “ You are right. Thank you for listening to the first part. And for being prepared to listen to the rest.” I said.
“ I’ll listen to anything you want to tell me,” he said. I wanted to stop and just curl up on his lap the rest of the night. Hell for the rest of my life if he would let me. With all the things he has done for me and now this. How could I ever doubt I would fall for him? Why would I ever not want to? He is perfect. In more ways than I can count. And then what Ratchet had said. Goof hasn’t touched a skank in years. I mean I knew he hasn’t from the start of this. And I know he hasn’t since he moved in with me. The poor guy doesn’t have the time. He comes straight home from work or church. He even texts me when he is on his way. Why the hell did I wait so long to tell him how I feel? I need to stop waiting. “ I know you will. You always do. Something I can’t thank you enough for. It is because of you listening and being here for me that has broken my walls down.” I laugh again and shake my head.
“ What is so funny?” Goof asked. “ What’s funny is I didn’t notice you doing it. You must have done brick by brick so I wouldn’t notice.” I told him. Goof shrugs his shoulders and runs his nails over his shirt like he is buffing them. “ For you babe. I am that good,” he said making us both laugh. “ That you are,” I say after I catch my breath. “ Before I go forward I have to ask a question,” I said. Goof waves for me to go ahead. “ That offer to give us a try. To see if we could work like a relationship. Is that offer still open?” I asked. I was hopeful that he would say yes. My stomach was in knots waiting on the answer. And it wasn’t the baby this time.
I am not outright telling Goof that I love him. I’m testing the waters first. If he does want to try and see any more. Or if he found someone he is interested in and just wants to co-parent. I don’t think the second is an issue. Goof wouldn’t sleep in my bed every night and still have sex with me if he was interested in someone else. He isn’t like that. That is why he fucked with the skanks in the first place. No drama for the most part. They knew the drill. It was just fucking, nothing more. I know there is no new girl in his life. He would have told me. So now I just have to cross my fingers that he hasn’t changed his mind.
Goof looks at me and swallows so hard I can see his Adam’s apple move. My heart begins to race as I wait for his answer. He has never rushed me about anything I won’t do that to him. This is something he has to decide on his own. I can’t force him or pressure him. If I did that and we did end up in some type of relationship then I would always feel like I forced him to be with me. I want Goof to want to be with me. And maybe one day be his ol’e lady. But that is something to think about in the future. Now is just for trying to see if we can have a relationship. Baby steps, you know.
Goof looks into my eyes before placing his hand on my cheek. I lean into it as he rubs his thumb up and down. “ Babe, I meant every word I said when I brought it up to you. I mean it even more now,” he said. My stomach was unknotted and I felt the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. But before I could get too excited I needed clarification. “ I’m talking about really trying to be a couple. I will stop pretending that I don’t know you have moved in. You will continue to sleep in my bed every night. Call out when you come home just because I love to hear it. You will have dinner with me as often as our schedules allow. You have to still cuddle with me on the couch when we stay home to chill out. You have to continue to listen to me when I am complaining about work or my latest backache. And I will still listen to you. You have to still join me in the tub. And we both have to put forth a true effort to make this work. You can run to the first skank that has her legs open when it gets tough. And I won’t shut you out. We stay and fight for us. Fight to make this work for us and our baby.” I told him.
If I was going to start this with him I had to know he wasn’t going to give up when it started to get hard. Or we fought a little too much. “ And even if it doesn’t work no matter how hard we tried you will always be there for the baby. I would like to keep you as my best friend but I won’t push my luck.” I said. “ Whoa, babe. Calm down. First I will never walk away from our baby. No matter what happens to us. Second, I’m all in. To all of it. I want everything you said and more. With you. And honestly I can’t picture myself doing this with anyone but you.” Goof said.
And cue the waterworks. I wasn’t full-on balling but the tears were flowing. I smiled as I wiped a tear. “ So we are doing this? The relationship and family.” I asked almost happier than I was when I found out I was pregnant. Goof Moves his hands to my hips and lifts me to his lap. How the hell does he keep doing that as big as I am? Once I am secure he kisses my cheek. He says “ We.” Kiss.” Are.” kiss my other cheek. “ Definitely” kiss my forehead. “ Doing.” kisses the tip of my nose making me giggle. “ This.” Then he kisses my lips in a slow sweet kiss. Don’t get me wrong I love any time Goof puts his lips on me. But the slow sweet kisses that lead to a heated make-out session and usually in no-rush lovemaking. But I would take just the slow kisses if that is all he wanted to give.