Goof
Alright, so we are talking during dinner. I keep the beer close as we start to eat. I won’t say a word until she needs me to. After Silvy eats a few bites she takes a deep breath. “ Micheal, what I’m about to tell you. I need to get through it before you start asking questions. It will be easier that way. For me that is. I know you care about me in some way at least. You have shown me countless times. So some will be hard for you to hear. And I’m sorry for that. But I feel in my heart you need to hear this. All of this. I will answer any questions you have after.” she said. I can see what she isn’t saying.
She thinks I might walk away after she has her say. My sweet Silvy, that is not going to happen. I put my fork down and place my hand on top of hers. “ Babe, I will listen to anything you want to tell me. I’ll be right here.” I told her. I purposely left out the fact that I would be here forever. She will figure it out soon. Silvy gave me a half-assed smile like she didn’t believe me. She will. I pull my hand back to begin eating again. I was showing Silvy the floor was hers when she was ready. Silvy takes a drink of her lemonade and then she starts talking. “ When we started this thing to get pregnant I told you it was because I was tired of dating that was going nowhere. And that was true. All of it. I just go into the details as to why I came to that decision.” she said.
I figured she wasn’t telling me the entire story when she came to me. I just wasn’t going to call her out on it. If I didn’t she would have gone to one of those donors she was looking at. Silvy takes a bite of the carrot before talking again. “ I didn’t pick the best guys to go out with. Especially when I was younger and first started dating. That didn’t happen until I was seventeen. Jerks mainly. Thinking I was easy because I was a big girl. Typical teenage stuff.” she told me. I hated hearing it but I knew what assholes teenage boys could be. I was one. Only thought with my dick.
“ I didn’t start dating seriously until I was in my early twenties when I went to nursing school. The first guy I dated was a fellow student. After two months of him asking me out I caved. We dated for three months and it was good. I thought it might go somewhere. Might even introduce him to my dad. We had sex. It was my first time. He dumped me the next day.” Silvy said. I wanted to to be pissed when she had sex with the fucker. I couldn’t. But the thought of any guy touching my Silvy made me want to find the guy and rip his arms off. I must have made a noise because Silvy looked at me and yelled, “ Don’t you dare growl. I can the number of guys I have slept with on one hand. Including you. You are probably close to triple digits by now so you don’t get to judge.”
Silvy was sitting back in her chair and had to wipe a tear from her eye. Shit, she thinks I was judging her. I had finished eating so I got up. I went to Silvy and turned her chair around so she could look at me. I knelt down in front of her and took her hands in mine. “ Babe, I wasn’t growling at you. I was growling at the fucker that did that to you. And any man who thought he had the privileged to touch you that way. I am no saint. I will never say that I am. I know I have more pussy under my belt than I want to admit to. High double digits for sure. I hope not triple. I’m not proud of it. Judging you is something I will never do. So when you are ready you can keep going.” I said.
Silvy decided she wanted to finish in the living room to finish talking where she was more comfortable. I helped her clear the table and load the dishwasher. I help her to the living room and get her seated and comfortable on the couch before I go get us a drink. I know this story is only going to get worse so I grab another beer and a tea for her. Instead of sitting across from her I sat beside her and pulled her close to me. I would have put her on my lap but Silvy didn’t need that yet.
“ I think that was the start of my wall I put up around my heart. At least put the first few bricks of it. Then next guy I dated never wanted to go out in public. We stayed home and had dinner and watched movies. One day I was grabbing some takeout and saw him with his arm around a tiny girl kissing her. When I confronted him about it later he told me I wasn’t the type of girl you take out but see in secret. Then there was the one that was seeing so many girls at one time he forgot who he had plans with and when. I met him for a date and he was there with one of his other girlfriends. We both dumped him. That was one of the better ones. But there were all similar. I was good enough to sleep with but not to introduce to family and friends. Or be seen out in public. Or we can be friends with benefits but I’m not the type for a serious relationship. Or my favorite I’m not the type you marry, I’m a side piece.” Silvy told me. I wanted the names of every man that hurt her. I want to go and show them what they gave up. Any man should get down on his knees and thank the heavens for being in Silvy’s life.
Not the marrying type. Are they fucking blind? Not the type you take out. “ Silvy, babe did any of these guys have brain damage or a vision problem, maybe high on something?” I asked as I pulled her onto my lap. Silvy laid her head on my chest and ran her fingers up and down my chest. She does that when she is stressed out. “ No, I don’t think so. Why?” she asks like she has no clue where I am going with this. “ They would have to have something wrong with them if they could see what a treasure you are,” I told her. That made her chuckle. Good. I hate to see her sad. “ I finally had enough and gave up. I built a wall around my heart so that no one would get through. Or so I thought.” she said. So she thought? Where is Silvy going with this? Is she saying I broke through? Please let it be me.