Silvy
It has been a week since the Fourth of July. A week to think about my talk with Goof. And that is all I have thought about. I could get that conversation out of my head. And it was pissing me off. I couldn’t come to a decision. And that pissed me off more. Then there were the questions I kept coming up with. Why did Goof want to change the deal now? What changed? If this was about seeing the baby I told him he could be in the kid’s life. What more does he want? He said he wanted us to be a family. He was going to give up the parties and skanks. But will he really?
You are probably wondering if I have trust issues. I do. I have been burnt too many times by men. But Goof has never lied or let me down. So why don’t I trust him on the skanks? Or that he is serious? I want to believe him, I do, but something is stopping me. I just don’t know what it is. And then there is the fact that he isn’t in love with me. How can I live with Goof and play the happy family knowing that? And what happens when Goof meets someone? Or me? All of this is making me want to scream and pull my hair out. I can’t think straight.
And these hormones aren’t helping the situation. I’m either hungry, horny, cranky or sleepy. Sometimes more than one at a time. I admit it, I’m a mess. I know I needed to talk to someone to help me work this shit out but who? If I call Lilly or Merigold I will have to explain all the details I left out of how this baby was really conceived. I’m not sure if I’m ready to let that cat out of the bag just yet. I didn’t need to bother my dad right now. I know he would listen so I could sort this out. But he had enough in his life for me to bug him.
He was helping Gena pack up her and Xavier’s things to move into his place. I helped them decorate Xavier’s room the other day. Add in them having to plan a wedding. I don't want to add more. I don’t really have friends at work. Well, I have friends but none of them are close enough for me to get this personal. When I was at work that was the only peace I got from thinking about Goof. So I didn’t want to bring it here. Here I was on autopilot and was able to shut my mind off to focus on my work.
And speak of the devil. I see him walking down the hall as I’m walking toward my patient to give them their discharge papers. I don’t have time to deal with him right now. I need to focus on my patient so I can get the little guy home. My patient is a seven-year-old boy that was learning how to ride a bike. He took a nasty fall and hit his head. He was wearing a helmet but got a deep gash that needed stitches. After I talk to Mom and make sure understands how to keep his wound clean and what signs to watch out for in case of infection I send them on their way. After reminding them to stop at the treasure box on their way out.
I stayed in the room for longer than necessary just to avoid Goof. Or at least compose myself. I hope he doesn’t ask me if I made a decision yet. He has been giving me space to think just like he said he would. Even though he has still been bringing me meals and snacks every day. He checked on me every day. Just like he has been doing since he found out I was pregnant even before. When I knew I couldn’t avoid it anymore I walked out of the room.
Immediately I knew something was off. Instead of Goof’s usual tee shirt and worn jeans, he has what looks like new blue jeans that hug his muscular legs and a white button-down shirt. And if that was odd enough he was carrying a bouquet of tulips, my favorite flowers. Oh, and he had his usual cooler with my dinner. Goof was such a common figure around here no one even bats an eye. Well, except for Megan. She still tries to flirt with Goof any time he comes in. It doesn’t matter to her that Goof ignores her.
I swear that woman takes it as a challenge. Goof smiles when he sees me. He always does. I swear I could melt from those smiles. I have. I do love them. That was the thing that caught my eye in the first place. “ Hey babe,” he says. I placed the chart I had on the desk of the nurse's station and turned my attention to Goof. “ Hey, Goof,” I said. I waved my hand at the flowers. “ What is all of this?” I asked. He raises the cooler first and sets it on the desk.
“ This is your dinner. Club sandwich, fries, fruit salad, and two bags of fruit wheels cereal,” he said. I could love this man just from the food deliveries. Goof does an exaggerated bow and says “ These are for you, my lady.” He hands me the flowers. “ Goof, they are beautiful. Thank you.” I told him as I accepted the light blue tulips. “ And I’m hoping they will convince you to go out with me. On a date. Tomorrow night.” he said. Of course, he knew I was off tomorrow. I swear he knows my schedule better than I do.
“ You want to take me on a date?” I asked. I needed clarification. “ Yes. Just you and me. No work. No club. We will have dinner. Then that movie you have been wanting to see. Afterward, I’ll take you out for whatever dessert you and little one want.” he said. He has taken to calling the baby little instead of it or the baby all the time. “ This is just one step in proving what we talked about. And this is the last time I will bring it up. I know you need time to think. I’m giving you that. As much as you need. During that time I’m going to show you. So what do you say?” he asked.
I was at a crossroads. Deny Goof and hurt both of us. Or I could be brave and give him a chance. Goof has always been true to his word. And he has been wonderful to me since the day we met and going above and beyond since we started this. I have nothing to lose from this and so much to gain as long as I give him a chance. It is just one date. I can do one date. It wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy spending time with Goof. I did. I love spending time with him. This man in front of me is the same man I trust enough to get me pregnant. My best friend.
Decision made. “ Yes, Goof. I will go out on a date with you.” I said. Goof beamed at me. Remember when I said his smiles make me melt? This one would leave me in a puddle on the floor. I need to see that one again. Goof kisses my forehead and hugs me. “ You won’t regret this, babe. I promise,” he said. I nod. After another kiss, Goof says he will check on me later and will see me tomorrow. I took the first step. I just hope I don’t regret it. Or lose my best friend.