Goof
“ She?” I asked. The doctor said it was too early to tell. Did I miss something? “ Just a guess. Or wishful thinking. Or a gut feeling. But nothing definite. Mm, this is nice.” Silvy says as she practically melts into me. While I continue to rub her tummy I picture a little girl with Silvy’s smile and hair, my eyes. Perfect. “ You keep spoiling me, Goof. You have set the bar impossibly high if I date in the future.” Silvy said. Good because there won’t be another man now or in the future.
“ There is nothing wrong with me spoiling you. I like taking care of you and our little one.” I told her. “ You keep doing that,” Silvy said. “ Doing what?” I asked, not sure where she was going with this. “ Calling the baby ours,” she said. “ Because it is. It wasn’t done in the most conventional way. But this baby is ours.” I told her. Silvy giggles “ Oh she was definitely made the old fashion way. The circumstances were just different.” That is true.
I pointed to the sky “ Look.” Axel and Rowdy were shooting off fireworks across the lake. While Silvy was relaxed and enjoying the show I asked “ Silvy, what if I don’t want to walk away from you or the baby?” “ Goof, it isn’t like you to beat around the bush. Just say what you want.” Silvy said. She is right, I have always been blunt. Silvy has said it is one of the things she liked about me. “ I don’t want to walk away from you or the baby. I want to do this with you.” I said. Silvy turned her head to look at me but kept it on my chest so that was a good sign.
I looked down at her so she knew I was serious about this. “ Is this about the baby? Are you wanting to be in its life? Goof, I won’t stop you from seeing the baby. You can decide who you want to be. The fun uncle that comes around once and a while or the every other weekend dad or even a friend that stops by once in a while.” she said. “ No Silvy. I want more than that. I want to be its father in every way. I want to be there when they are born. I want to be there to help you with feedings and diaper changes.” I told her. “ So you want to co-parent?” she asked.
I shook my head. She still wasn’t getting it. Or she did and wasn’t going to admit it. “ I don’t even know what that is so no. I want to be all in with you and the baby. I want us to be together as a family.” I told her. “ Goof, do you know what you are saying? First you don’t love me. At least not like that. Second, you are talking about giving up most of your life. The skanks, endless sex, the parties, the late nights out and sleeping as long as you want. And trading it for sleepless nights, spit up, dirty diapers, teething, snot noses, and minimal sex if any.” she said.
Silvy is acting like I don’t know all of this. “ I know all of this and I’m good with it. You know me. I would do something like this without thinking it through. I would be gaining so much more. First time sitting up, crawling, first steps, solid foods, first words, messy bubble baths, birthdays, first days of school, proms, and graduations. To me, that is worth giving up the parties and skanks.” I said. “ Those are all great things. I agree. But what about love, Goof? And sex? Don’t you want to have those things? An ol’e lady at some point?” Silvy asked. Oh, my sweet Silvy. I have all of those things with you. And I can’t wait to prove it.
“ Silvy, you know I care about you. We have a strong solid friendship. Who knows maybe it can be more. We don’t know because we never gave it a shot. We can raise our baby together. If something comes from it we will deal with it. If not and I find someone down the road that is fine too. But know this, no one is going to come before you and the baby.” I said. “ So you are talking about moving in together. And raising the baby like we were a couple.” Silvy said. If she wants to break it down to that, sure. I will go with that for now.
“ Eventually, yes,” I told her. “ I don’t know Goof. Right now I don’t see you giving up everything for me and the baby,” she said. I knew she would be unsure. That is why I wanted to talk to her alone. “ Let me prove it to you. If I can convince you by the time the baby is born let me move in on a trial basis.” I said. “ It is a lot to take in. I’m going to have to think about it. Give me a few days.” she said. I hold her closer to me and kiss her forehead. I want her lips but I know she isn’t ready for that right now. “ That’s all I ask, babe. Now what the sky and relax. I have you.”