Chapter 74
Elara
The examination room door clicked shut behind Julian. I sat on the edge of the paper-covered table, hands gripped tight in my lap.
Dr. Chen was exactly as I remembered from my past life. Calm. Professional. The kind of person who'd seen everything and judged nothing.
"Hello, Elara. I'm Dr. Chen." She gestured to the examination table. "Let's start with some basic questions."
I nodded. My throat felt dry.
"Any nausea? Dizziness?"
"Yes. Both."
"When was your last period?"
I told her the date. She noted it down.
"Are you sexually active?"
My face burned. I felt the heat spread down my neck. "Yes."
"Using protection?"
I hesitated. The silence stretched. I could hear the clock on the wall ticking. Could hear my own heartbeat in my ears.
"I took emergency contraception. Last Saturday."
Her pen paused. Just for a second. Then she continued writing. "I see. That would explain the nausea and dizziness. Plan B has significant side effects."
She continued the examination. Blood pressure. Heart rate. Weight.
Her frown deepened. "You're underweight. Have you been eating properly?"
"Not really. No appetite."
"I can tell." She made another note. "You're showing signs of malnutrition."
The physical exam followed. I changed into a gown. Lay back on the table. Stared at the ceiling tiles while she worked.
Professional. Detached. Efficient.
When she finished, she helped me sit up. Made notes on her tablet.
"Your physical exam shows no abnormalities aside from the malnutrition," she said. "The nausea and dizziness are consistent with emergency contraception side effects. Those should resolve within a few days."
She looked at me directly. Professional but not unkind.
"I need to be clear about something, Elara. Emergency contraception is exactly that—for emergencies. It's not meant to be used as regular birth control. The hormone dose is very high and can cause significant side effects, as you're experiencing now."
I nodded. Kept my eyes down.
"If you're going to continue being sexually active, you need a proper contraceptive method. Birth control pills, an IUD, or at minimum, consistent condom use." She handed me several pamphlets. "These explain your options. I can prescribe pills today if you'd like, or we can schedule a follow-up to discuss an IUD."
"I..." My voice came out small. "I'll think about it."
"All right." She made another note. "But in the meantime, you need to focus on your health. Your weight is concerning. I want you eating three proper meals a day, including protein and vegetables. And rest. Your body is under significant stress."
She stood. "I'll have the nurse draw blood for a full panel. The results will be ready tomorrow. We'll check for anemia and any vitamin deficiencies."
"Thank you."
She paused at the door. "Take care of yourself, Elara. Your health comes first."
Then she was gone.
---
I sat alone in the examination room. Stared at the pamphlets in my hands.
The paper felt thin. Cheap. I could see my fingers through it.
I set them down on the table beside me. Pressed my palms against my thighs. My hands were shaking.
Dr. Chen hadn't pried. She'd been professional. Kind even. But her words kept echoing in my head.
"Your body is under significant stress."
I looked down at my hands. They were thinner than they'd been a month ago. I could see the bones in my wrists more clearly. The veins stood out blue against pale skin.
When had I gotten so thin?
I thought about the past few days. Had I eaten breakfast these days? I couldn't remember. Yesterday I'd forced down some toast. The day before that—nothing.
I wrapped my arms around myself. The gown was too thin. The air conditioning too cold.
Through the window, I could see the city. People walking on sidewalks. Cars moving through intersections. Everyone going somewhere. Living their lives.
I wondered what it felt like. To be normal. To not have every choice controlled. To not sit in a doctor's office at eighteen worrying about birth control with your adopted brother.
The thought made my throat tight.
I'd found Raven today. That was good. That was something.
Tomorrow I'd go watch her test her installation. Tomorrow I'd start building something. An ally. A friend maybe.
I held onto that. It was the only good thing I had.
---
Footsteps in the hallway.
My whole body tensed. I knew those footsteps. I'd heard them for years. Coming down the hallway at Blackwood Estate. Coming into my room without knocking.
The door opened.
Julian walked in. He stopped just inside. Looked at me.
I couldn't read his expression. His face was controlled. Blank. But his eyes—they moved over me. Took in the thin gown. My bare feet. My hands twisted in my lap.
Something flickered in his expression. Too fast to catch.
"Dr. Chen told me about the Plan B."
My heart dropped. I'd known he'd find out. But hearing him say it made it real.
He moved closer. Each step slow. Deliberate.
I wanted to back away. But there was nowhere to go. I was already pressed against the examination table.
"When did you take it?"
His voice was quiet. Too quiet. That was when he was most dangerous.
"Saturday. After Atlas bought it for me."
"Atlas bought it?"
The words came out sharp. His jaw tightened. I saw the muscle there jump.
"I asked him to." I kept my voice steady. Tried to. "I didn't want to get pregnant."
Julian didn't say anything. Just stared at me.
Five seconds passed. Ten.
Then he laughed. The sound was cold. Wrong. Nothing about it was actually amused.
"You have quite the independent streak."
He moved closer. Put his hands on either side of me on the examination table. Not touching me. But close enough that I could feel the heat from his body. Could smell his cologne.
I pressed back. Tried to create space. There wasn't any.
"Making decisions without telling me," he said. His voice was low. Controlled. But I could hear the anger underneath.
"It's my body—"
"Your body?"
He leaned in closer. His face was inches from mine. I could see the dark flecks in his eyes. Could see the tight line of his mouth.
"Elara. What did we agree this morning?"
I swallowed. My throat felt dry. "That you'd... handle certain arrangements."
"And taking emergency contraception behind my back—is that following our agreement?"
I met his eyes. Forced myself to hold his gaze even though every instinct told me to look away.
"I didn't agree to give up control of my own body."
His eyes narrowed. I saw his hands grip the edge of the table harder. His knuckles went white.
"You agreed to be mine." His voice dropped lower. Dangerous. "That includes your body."
"No."
The word came out stronger than I felt. My heart was pounding. My hands were shaking. But I kept my chin up.
"I agreed to be your mistress. Not your property."
Something changed in his expression. The anger was still there. But underneath it—surprise? Uncertainty? I couldn't tell.
He straightened. Took a step back.
The sudden space felt like I could breathe again.
He ran a hand through his hair. Messed it up. That was rare. Julian never looked anything but perfectly controlled.
"Dr. Chen says Plan B is harmful if used repeatedly." His voice was calmer now. Clinical. "You're not to take it again."
"Then what—"
"I'll arrange proper contraception." He wasn't looking at me anymore. He was looking at the wall behind me. "Pills. Or an IUD. But nothing happens without my knowledge. Understood?"
I wanted to argue. To fight. To tell him he couldn't control every single thing about my life.
But I was so tired. The fight drained out of me all at once.
"Understood."
He glanced at me. Something in his expression softened. Just slightly.
"Good." He turned toward the door. His hand on the handle. "Get dressed. We're leaving."
He paused. Didn't turn around.
"And Elara. Eat something today. You're too thin."
Then he was gone.
I sat there. Stared at the closed door.
That last part—the concern in his voice. It confused me.
Was it real? Or just another way to control me?
I didn't know anymore.
In the hallway, I stayed close to the wall. Tried to be invisible.
Julian walked ahead. His phone was out. His thumb moving across the screen. Already focused on something else.
I watched the back of his head. His shoulders. The way he moved.
I'd watched him for years. Knew every gesture. Every expression.
But I didn't understand him. Not at all.
Then a voice called out. "Julian?"